Homer Simpson Knows What’s Right For You

Homer Simpson stands as the longest-running fictional patriarch on television. No small feat for a man who started as Tracy Ullman’s side show.

Oxford Dictionary of Modern Quotations recognizes Homer’s contribution to culture, thus their new edition contains two Homerisms. In a move that will now doubt piss of “family” defenders, both citations regard child rearing. This one’s by far the better of the two:

Kids are the best, Apu. You can teach them to hate the things you hate. And they practically raise themselves, what with the internet and all.

Does this make us daddies?

Hefty humorist Dawn French also has a particularly noteworthy byte: “If I were alive in Ruben’s time, I’d be celebrated as a model. Kate Moss would be used as a paintbrush.”