in the navy

Homophobic Army Colonel Explains How He Likes His Men: No Fatties, No Fags

Bishop John Neal, a retired Army colonel and military chaplain, doesn’t ask for much. He just wants his soldiers to be healthy and safe. In other words: thin, trim, and totally not gay.

Why does he bring it up? Why, to explain why discrimination is a good thing, of course. He’s not happy that the Army contemplated allowing its chaplains to officiate at same-sex ceremonies, thereby ending one of his favorite traditions: “a long history of discrimination.”

“We discriminate,” Neal says. “I can’t tell you how many fat soldiers I put out of the Army. They were patriotic; they loved their country; they had a good heart. But it would cause damage to my mission (for them to remain.) So you can be 7-ft. tall and want to fly a fighter jet – (but) we discriminate, because we are not going to change the billion dollar equipment.”

Okay, we are not exactly following this line of thought. Does he think that gays are trying to hold their weddings inside the cockpits of fighter jets? That would be a totally rad ceremony, but probably not what anyone had in mind.

According to Neal and company, “the military’s push to open up military chapels to same-sex marriage ceremonies will drain the military of chaplains and soldiers who do not believe that homosexuality is compatible with military service.”

Oh, bless your stupid blackened hearts, we’ve already been over this. Only two chaplains have resigned in protest over the end of DADT. And those resignations are a good thing. Because you know what’s really incompatible with military service? Allowing ignorance to turn you against your fellow soldiers.