in the navy

Homophobic Army Colonel Explains How He Likes His Men: No Fatties, No Fags

Bishop John Neal, a retired Army colonel and military chaplain, doesn’t ask for much. He just wants his soldiers to be healthy and safe. In other words: thin, trim, and totally not gay.

Why does he bring it up? Why, to explain why discrimination is a good thing, of course. He’s not happy that the Army contemplated allowing its chaplains to officiate at same-sex ceremonies, thereby ending one of his favorite traditions: “a long history of discrimination.”

“We discriminate,” Neal says. “I can’t tell you how many fat soldiers I put out of the Army. They were patriotic; they loved their country; they had a good heart. But it would cause damage to my mission (for them to remain.) So you can be 7-ft. tall and want to fly a fighter jet – (but) we discriminate, because we are not going to change the billion dollar equipment.”

Okay, we are not exactly following this line of thought. Does he think that gays are trying to hold their weddings inside the cockpits of fighter jets? That would be a totally rad ceremony, but probably not what anyone had in mind.

According to Neal and company, “the military’s push to open up military chapels to same-sex marriage ceremonies will drain the military of chaplains and soldiers who do not believe that homosexuality is compatible with military service.”

Oh, bless your stupid blackened hearts, we’ve already been over this. Only two chaplains have resigned in protest over the end of DADT. And those resignations are a good thing. Because you know what’s really incompatible with military service? Allowing ignorance to turn you against your fellow soldiers.

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  • Tom in Lazybrook

    The Chaplaincy is not an employment program for evangelical ministers.

  • Rick Gold

    This hateful shit is VERY much like the typical “no fats, femmes or asians” line used in online hookup ads.

  • tallest

    I always thought the line went “Fats, femmes and Asians.” but maybe that’s just me.

  • Danny

    Anyone can get a clergy certificate on the internet, doesn’t take a college degree or an IQ above room temperature to be a cleric. Plenty of people will fill any jobs that open. And there are plenty of folks who belong to moderate and progressive religions.

  • Kanga

    “No fatties, no fags” sounds more like a typical gay personal ad than ‘discrimination’ to me. Why do we never look at ourselves when we are screaming about ‘discrimination’? We in the gay “community” don’t treat each other very well, why should general society be any different?

  • Elloreigh

    Perhaps a better analogy would be the Catholic Church ceasing adoptions so that it doesn’t have to comply with non-discrimination laws.

    Such whining thuggery. Point me to the reg that says a chaplain would be forced to perform a same-sex wedding. I doubt it exists.

    I seriously don’t get the reasoning behind the statements that ‘If same-sex couples are allowed to marry, I won’t be able to practice my religion according to my beliefs’. Apparently hating queers is a religious practice now? How does a same-sex couple marrying infringe on that?

    Hate all you like, if that’s part of your religious beliefs/practices. But know this: Your freedom of religion does not guarantee you results – as in preventing same-sex couples from marrying where they can LEGALLY do so.

  • BlindedNYC

    I’m with Kanga, no fatties no fags is actually pretty gay sounding.

  • Steve

    There absolutely is no regulation that says a chaplain must perform any particular wedding. In every case, it is up to the chaplain. If he (or she) or his(/her) denomination, does not approve, then they don’t have to do the wedding. Any regulation otherwise, would be a violation of “religious freedom”.

    On the other hand, there absolutely is a regulation that says a chaplain must _not_ perform a same-sex wedding. Even if the chaplain and the denomination both approve, they may not do the wedding. This regulation, clearly, violates “religious freedom”.

    I don’t really see why one violation of religious freedom is carefully avoided, and the other is carefully required.

    Seems to me, a military chaplain is there to minister to the troops. When troops request chaplains services, the could very well die within hours. Whatever ministering is requested, should be allowed.

  • Enrique

    I’m an Army Chaplain Assistant myself. I;ve found that there are some really great chaplains out there, some from LGBT-friendly denominations. But the fact is, most are from evangelical “queer-hating” denominations. The Army Chief of Chaplains, MG Carver, is a Southern Baptist: obviously anti-gay. The solution: talk to people from LGBT-friendly denominations who are considering ministry about possibly becoming a military Chaplain.

    And @ Danny, while you can be ordained online, most faith groups represented in the military require you to have an M.Div to be a chaplain.

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