Some gay guys act more stereotypically gay. Some gay guys don’t.
It’s truly that simple.
But some people still can’t seem to grasp that there’s no way anyone is supposed to be acting.
Would you walk up to a straight person and say, “but you don’t look straight”?
How about we take this to the next level?
Our newsletter is like a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
Below, guys sound off on Whisper about how they feel about the whole “passing” thing:
PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID
NEWSFLASH It’s not necessarily about looking straight. And there’s a difference between not wanting to look gay and not wanting to look like THOSE gays. I don’t wanna look like a vegan or an atheist either though i’m those things too…a individualist naturally rebels against the groupthink of the tribe. Why should you have to wear( selective aspects)your identity like a fucking uniform or superhero costume to pass some ideological purity test. Grow the fuck up.
Masc Pride
“Some gay guys act more stereotypically gay. Some gay guys don’t.”
Get ready for the perpetually outraged to take issue with that statement! Getting offended because people assume you’re straight–when like 96% of the population identifies as hetero–is more proof of the burgeoning outrage culture that has become so popular in this community.
Billy Budd
Sometimes I wish I was more stereotypically gay. Nobody thinks I am gay unless they see me together with my boyfriend. But in my office I put a little rainbow flag attached to a board on the wall. Just in case.
bottom250
Sweethearts I am so stereo-typically gay. I celebrate my gayness. I love how when people see me and hear me they no I am fabulous, effeminate, flamboyant gay man.
Stilinski26
“some gay guys act more stereotypically gay. Some gay guys don’t” lol gay men now a days are more manly and masculine and straight men
PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID
“Sweethearts I am so stereo-typically gay. I celebrate my gayness”
And on that bombshell
bottom250
@PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID: Oh honey, I am a bombshell aren’t I.
PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID
@bottom250: Darlin’ you’re an A-bomb and H-bomb combined..and the very personification an F-bomb (both flavours)
bottom250
@PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID: Hugs thank you sweetheart. I am living my genuine life.
Me2
Oh please! Most gays who can pass as straight take pride in being masculine and not “looking” gay. I seriously doubt that many are actually bothered by the fact that they can’t be immediately identified as gay by people who don’t know them.
Tobi
Of course there’s a “gay” look. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NkQOtPsiWgY
Stache
I don’t mind masculine men or guys where no one would ever guess. However, if I hear another “straight acting” profile I’m going to hook up with them just to beat the stupid out of them.
GayEGO
I love it when I am asked about my wife and I reply with “my husband”.
Stevenw
F**k the rest of this rubbish, WHO is the ginger model? I have private browsing on and I’m ready to guiltly stalk the s**t out of him. Tell me tell me tell me.
Masc Pride
@Me2: Yeah, I’ve never actually heard a guy say he was offended by people thinking he’s not “stereotypically gay”. If anything, most guys would take it as a compliment.
PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID
BTW call me cynical but I’m not buying the veracity of a lot of their weirdly fucked up combo of misguided humblebragging & SJW victim wallowing… “boohoo I’m so offended that people seeing me as big and butch and not being able to pass as big ol’ nelly queen! I’m so opresssssssed! ” Fuck outta here!
DarkZephyr
I’m not annoyed or “outraged” by anything in those whispers whatsoever. Now the ones who EXPECT outrage when none was posted are pretty damned annoying, inventing sh** to be whiny about.
Brian
Gay-identifying men are the ones who are most obsessed with labels. Half of their lexicon consists of the words “gay” and “straight”. They look and sound tragic.
DutchGay
I work with problem kids / teens that are often homophobic until they figure out I’m gay. There’s nothing wrong with being “stereotypical gay”. There’s nothing wrong with NOT being “stereoty[pical gay” either. I’m 100% me and if kids change their [homophobic] minds because they’ve known me and then discover I’m gay… nohing wrong with that.
Steve318
I can pass as a straight guy (that’s been assumed) and I can pass as a gay guy (I’ve been asked if I were gay.) Thant’s because I’ve kept my bisexuality in the closet as a teenager and as a (straight) married man all my life. If something were to happen to my wife, I could easily marry a guy, if I fell in love with him. I thing we need to ditch gaydar and replace it with bidar. I’d love a world where binormative behavior was the “norm.”
Tyrone Johnston
For most of you, people KNOW that you’re gay. You are just delusional in thinking that you look straight.
Brian
Gay-identifying men sometimes act extra-queeny in the presence of women so as to let the woman know that he is not sexually interested in her.
iggy6666
Passing as “straight” is an issue now? And my bank account has to much money, said no one ever……Just be you. You gives a rats ass about labels
iggy6666
@Tyrone Johnston: you mean I’m not fooling anyone by driving a pickup and denying myself the pleasure of a vw beetle?!?!
kzen64
I can pass as straight when I have a guys dick in my mouth… 😉 😛
@Steve318: Same boat here, except I divorced my wife, and have a 20yo bimale fiance now…
AtticusBennett
until the guys using whisper start using ACTUAL PHOTOS OF THEMSELVES, nothing that they say can, or ever should, be taken seriously.
none of the guys saying “its hard to pass for straight” even mean it. do what i do – i wear my rainbow bracelet every darn day, in every place i go. why? i WANT people to know i’m gay. i want any any every one to know it.
you never know how much of a positive impact it can have on younger or still-closeted people to see US out there, openly and proudly identifying as gay. making it KNOWN. making it visible.
i’m the gayest gay who ever gayed, and yet even still i have interactions with people who assume i’m straight. does this mean “i can pass for straight?” no. it means some people merely have a very limited idea of what GAY LOOKS LIKE.
my daily attire is combat boots, a spike-studded belt, leather arm cuff, i’ve got three tattoos and a shaved head. some people aren’t up to speed and think “gay doesn’t look like that”
they’ve clearly never walked outside The Eagle.
if you want people to know you’re gay, adopt a form of visual iconography.
AtticusBennett
https://www.instagram.com/p/-95L2RB0gg/?taken-by=atticusbennett
kzen64
@AtticusBennett: and what of a bisexual like me… there’s no “looks like that”/stereotype for bisexuals. I just do me, like I’ve always done.
AtticusBennett
@kzen64: well, what’s your particular issue? do you want people to know you’re bisexual? if so – adopt a form of visual iconography.
if you want people to know you’re bisexual, do something about it. it’s not hard.
joeyty
@PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID: “BTW call me cynical but I’m not buying the veracity of a lot of their weirdly fucked up combo of misguided humblebragging & SJW victim wallowing… “boohoo I’m so offended that people seeing me as big and butch and not being able to pass as big ol’ nelly queen! I’m so opresssssssed! ” Fuck outta here!” I agree. Almost every one of these posts is so stupid. “I’m having trouble because I look so straight!” “I’m suffering because I’m so gay-appearing!” “I want people to KNOW I’m gay because I’m such a great nontypical example of a gay man !” “I like it when I blow peoples’ minds when they learn I’m gay!” Ugh. Just knock it off. None of you are that important to the…whole thing.
AtticusBennett
“I hate that people can’t tell i’m gay even though i make a conscious effort to not look gay and then pretend it’s unconscious!”
if you want people to know you’re gay, and that gay men Can Look Like You – do what i do: adopt a form of gay-identifying iconography. it ain’t hard.
Tennants100
There are people from my past who have seen my feminine side calm down since being a teenager… I find it hilariously narrow minded how some of them seem to think it’s me slowly becoming straight. At the age of 39 it would be nice if nobody made me feel like I was just going through a phase hahaha
It can be a compliment though, one women I worked with kept trying to make me admit I was ‘at least bi’ as she put it. Turned out she had a daughter my age, always wanted her to meet a good guy and thought I was the one.