maps

How The Gays See Europe

THE SHOT — Alas this “Europe According to Gay Men” map doesn’t differentiate between Italy and Sicily, missing an opportunity to separate “straight homos” from “straight homos willing to try anything once.” You guess which is which. [via]

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27 Comments

  • CHIP1218

    A few suggested changes:

    1) Change Slovakia from “Military Porn” to “Bel Ami”

    2) Change Czech Republic from “Posh Beer” to “Twincest Porn” or “Twink Porn” or “Gay for Pay”

    3) Change Hungary from “Non-Military Porn” to “Triplet Porn”

    4) Change Ireland from “In Denial” to “Under 6 Inches”

  • Dimi

    Very funny. But what is F.H.S.o.M? I like the other maps as well.

  • CHIP1218

    @Dimi:

    It’s some of the regions that wealthy Europeans like to go on “holiday” (vaction) – Portugal, the Spanish Islands (i.e. Ibiza), Sardinia, Slovenia, Croatia, and Greece – all countries known for their coastlines.

    Queerty, why was my post blocked??? I suggested renaming Czech Republic to Twinks/Incest Porn, Slovakia to Bel Ami, Hungary to Triplet Porn and Ireland to Under 6 Inches. How is that spam or a violation of the comment policy???

  • CHIP1218

    @Dimi:

    @Dimi:

    It’s some of the regions that wealthy Europeans like to go on “holiday” (vaction) – Portugal, the Spanish Islands (i.e. Ibiza), Sardinia, Slovenia, Croatia, and Greece – all countries known for their coastlines.

    Queerty, why were my posts blocked????

  • tavdy79

    @Dimi: FHSoM = Federated Holiday States of the Mediterranean (Portugal, Balearics, Sardinia, Croatia, Greece, Cyprus & Israel).

  • Steve

    @CHIP1218:
    Some destinations like Ibiza are known as pure party locations. Cheap and for young people who just want to get drunk. Nothing wealthy about it.

  • Jane

    I wish I could read what the dots at Berlin, Paris, London and Barcelona say.

  • Dimi

    @Jane: Paris says Mall, I think Berlin say Arm Wrestling, Barcelona is Barcelona but London I can’t make out.

  • Aquilo

    Hmm.. not liking that my native Norway gets the label “Gently boring”… but then I suppose it’s not so far from the truth either..

  • jason

    The Germans are awfully fetishistic. It’s as if they were born with implements in their asses.

  • Joey

    @jason: Their culture is still…recovering. Hence outrageous fetishes and industrial music.

    Kind of like Japan and their strange fixation on the “cuteness” subculture (see Pokemon and Hello Kitty).

  • Alex Sarmiento

    Portugal is NOT located on the Mediterranean. It’s on the fucking Atlantic Ocean.

    And why the hell aren’t Slovenia and Luxembourg and Andorra labeled?

    And the Balearic Islands are NOT an independent country. They’re an integral part of Spain.

  • Dimi

    @Alex Sarmiento: Portugal is not part of the Mediterranean Sea but it is considered to be part of the Mediterranean climate and biosphere.

  • Bernie

    I wish I could see what was written on Belgium and the Netherlands! Oh to have a sharper picture :)

  • Joseph

    Ireland ‘in denial’ is classic concidering that Ireland is a really gay-friendly country.
    This map only makes gay people look stupid.

  • Mark

    @Joey

    Our culture is recovering, yours is stoll developing…
    Bullshit.

    I’d love to be in denial with some hot irish guy.
    Maybe Michael Fassbender.

  • Mark

    @Joey

    Our culture is recovering, yours is still developing…
    Bullshit.

    I’d love to be in denial with some hot irish guy.
    Maybe Michael Fassbender.

  • Toby

    @jason:

    LOL yeah, German porn can turn on you real quick. One minute it’s hot…the next everyone is wearing gas masks…

  • David K

    There’s a lot of whining about a comedy jpeg on the internet here on queerty today.

    @Toby: For some of us, it doesn’t get hot until the gasmasks go on ;-)

  • Gunder

    @Dimi:
    You’re NOT right!: The entire northern half of Portugal is Atlantic climate, biosphere and culture. Learn before teaching others!

  • declanto

    @Gunder: Get your head out of your ass, this is HUMOR!

  • declanto

    @Aquilo: I agree, Norway is gently boring, because it’s one of the most open social environments in Europe. Gay-Friendly is comfortably, gently, uneventful. We’re all blissed out.

  • Prince

    Why Serbia is homophobic tribe?? Its gay capitol of south-east Europe including Croatia. In Croatia there are no normal gay clubs,just small ones,they go to Belgrade.

  • KN

    I know, my reply is a tad late. Just read the comments and might be able to enlighten some comnfusion :).

    @Jane: Barcelona reads Dancelona, London reads XXL, Berlin reads “Arm aber sexy” which is “poor but sexy” in English.

    @Bernie: The Netherlands are labelled Hash and Belgium as Waffles.

    A bigger version is available under: http://www.flickr.com/photos/alphadesigner/5009856543/sizes/o/

  • The Hetero Joe

    @Joey:

    > @jason: Their culture is still…recovering. Hence outrageous fetishes and industrial music.

    No, it is not because their culture is still developing. It is, because their culture is, again, declining. Remember the NAZIS? Patent Leather, Uniforms, Dungeons (Auschwitz, Dachau, etc.)?

    The typical German virtues are: Zucht (disciplined breeding), Ordnung (order), Disziplin (same), Gehorsam (obedience, submissiveness) Pünktlichkeit (on time, to the tick), Fleiß (diligence). See a pattern? BRDSM! :-) “Sachverstand” (means “know-how, expertise, analytic thinking, it is actually two words: “knowledge of the thing” is the holy grail of the German mind, Menschenverstand (“human”-“knowledge”) is less common. The interest in the things, in the material world is higher than in the humane world. Gives: fetish.

    People, who are just about the numbers, who are just about discipline, are ideal candidates for a butt-plug, if you ask me :-)

    > Kind of like Japan and their strange fixation on the “cuteness” subculture (see Pokemon and Hello Kitty).

    I consider the Japanese to be the better Germans: Same kind of values, with the difference, that the Japanese do it like RealMan (“roaaarrr”), at least they have no problems pulling the plug (Sepuku, Harakiri, Kamikaze) in order to prove their complete loyalty and obedience to their masters. The Japanese have brought us the degradation of women as an art-form (by means of artistic bondage). BDSM. That’s why these two nations were so deeply allied in WW2. They fit well together. Two folks who put the systematic way of life above the humane/naive way of life. They seek for perfection. No-Body is perfect. Again, sado-masochistic tendencies (torturing the genitals (no-Body))

    Sick like shit.

Comments are closed.