How The Supreme Court and Marriage Equality is Like the Miss USA Contest

Donald-Trump-500x334Lawyers and courts around the country are falling all over each other in preparation for the inevitable Supreme Court hearing on marriage equality that will come sometime in the next few months.

Everyone knows it’s coming up soon, and that there are lots of strong contenders in different states, but it’s anyone’s guess who will actually make it to the finals. In that respect, it’s kind of like the Miss USA pageant, minus Donald Trump.

Everywhere you look, states are primping and preening and getting ready to strut their stuff across the catwalk that is the plaza in front of the Supreme Court. A panel of judges — actual judges, not celebrity judges! — will consider their merits and eventually select a winner. Alas, the marriage cases will probably not feature a swimsuit competition.

Among the states preparing for their moment in the spotlight: Oklahoma and Florida, both of which were in the news last week for yet another victory for marriage equality. Hey Florida, must be nice to be recognized for something that doesn’t involve a machete, animal on the loose, or pantlessness.

The Department of Justice is prepping for a Supreme Court hearing as well; Eric Holder announced last week what his intentions were when the justices finally ask for his opinion. And a federal court covering Wisconsin and Indiana is struggling to make it over the finish line in time for the Supreme Court’s upcoming session.

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