I'm from driftwood

How This Young Gay Man Forgave His Father For Forcing Him To Endure Hell Of Conversion Therapy


Mathew-ShurkaIf your father forced you to endure years of conversion therapy that caused you to become estranged from your mother and sister, nearly flunk out of school, and ultimately become depressed and suicidal, could you find it in yourself to forgive him? Mathew Shurka did.

Sadly, conversion therapy stories are all too common–as are those of suicidal gay teens. What’s new in Mathew’s story is that instead of living a life of anger and resentment, he found a way to turn the other cheek. By identifying the source of his father’s feelings that led his father to send his own son to conversion therapy in the first place, he found a way to bring them together again. The source of the father’s feelings? Fear for his son’s well-being.

With Mathew’s few simple words–“I’m going to be okay”–his father’s fear melted away, leaving behind a badly damaged but repairing father-son relationship.

Watch the video:

Mathew’s story is one of nearly 900 stories collected and shared by I’m From Driftwood, The LGBTQ Story Archive.

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  • Mezaien

    As a HOMO father to 6 I can tell you that your father was on your side! the wrong one. Go home and fuck him up big time don`t leave a inch untouched. AND make sure he eat hospital food for years.

  • Cam

    Interesting that the tone that was taken in this article is that of not only defending the father, but insinuating that if the son didn’t want to forgive the abuse the son would be just some bitter idiot.

    The idea behind the story in this particular instance is nice, but the tone of the article was extremely odd.

  • Teeth

    @Cam: Agreed. But it’s an artifact of our culture’s watered down version humanism, where everyone holds hands and “lets go” and “believes in light and love” and whatever other stupid bumper-sticker phraseology you can think of. Queerty doesn’t have educated people thinking deeply about these issues; that’s not their role. It just stupidly thoughtless, in the real sense of the word.

  • Mykaels

    Forgiveness is never about God or the forgiven. It is about yourself. Finding peace with yourself. Moving on and releasing the hurt and baggage. You don’t have to forget. You don’t have to excuse. You don’t have to become friends with or mend the relationship with the forgiven. It is the best therapy ever.

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