The city of Marietta, outside of Atlanta, had a problem getting citizens to quit smoking in public parks, where the risk of forest fires (and tarnishing America’s children) outweighed concerns about smokers’ rights. So the city council passed an ordinance banning anyone from lighting up. But what to do about another problem plaguing public parks? You know, the one where men are having sex with other men in the bushes? Solution: Train attack dogs to go after these guys. Yes, this is a solution offered by a syndicated newspaper columnist.
Dick Yarbrough, who is often cranky, notes “Councilman Van Pearlberg is talking about banning dogs from the park.”
But:” That is a bad idea. With a little instruction, dogs could be taught to severely dislike the gay lovers in Burruss and Wildwood [parks] and bite them in the fanny and do what City Council should have done years ago – chase them off to Atlanta where they belong.”
Next: Get ’em to “severely dislike” blacks and Hispanics! Finally the parks will be cleansed of all disgusts!
How about we take this to the next level?
Our newsletter is like a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
Andrew
OK. Using police attack dogs to reign in disorderly conduct or public indecency (or whatever the like charge) is over-the-top. Bad idea. Bad dog!
But…. Qty’s leap (“Next: Get ’em to “severely dislike” blacks and Hispanics! Finally the parks will be cleansed of all disgusts!”) is also over-the-top. I hate the fact that I’m standing up for this guy, but someone has to: Saying the city should stop nudity and sex in public parks is NOT the same as saying the city should remove blacks and Hispanics. For that matter, it’s not the same as saying the city should remove gays. It IS saying that the city should stop nudity and sex in public parks. The columnist is likely an a-hole and his comments are offensive, but Qty’s leap just muddies the issue.
I know there are reasons why men get naked and have sex in public parks (it’s fun, they can’t meet anywhere else, fear, society’s general homophobia, etc. etc. etc.) But honestly, if I’m taking my young nephew and niece to a park, I really don’t need them to see two people fucking in the bushes. (Yes, it happens in daylight hours too) For that matter, if I’m alone in the park I don’t want to see that. I’m no prude and I’m all for having lots and lots of sex… but if you know the public is sick of seeing people doing the nasty in public parks, maybe it’s time to move it somewhere else for a while? Otherwise, pricks like this columnist have a field day spreading the b.s. that all gays are perverts running around in public parks trying to shtupp school boys. Yes, they make those leaps. We shouldn’t.
Brian
Can you put some of these dogs in the public restrooms at the Mall. Certain gays engage in disgusting behavior and risk the chance of children witnessing it. It contributes to the perception that gays are pigs – because those particular gays ARE PIGS.
Send in the dogs.
TANK
@Brian:
Those aren’t gays. They’re generally married, closeted bis or homos.
Geoff M
This stuff always sounds like it could never happen, but really it serves as a valuable reminder how hated we are by some people….how they revile all gay people to the extent that we are deserving of having harm done to us by any means. I’m not for or against park crusing per se…..but I think extreme bigots like this serve as a very valuable, very serious warning.
Fitz
Oh please. Stop with the “they hate us for being gay” crapola. They hate it when people take a public space and turn it into a spawning ground. And I hate it too. I am ALL for sex venues. I am a proud card-carrying member of Steamworks, and I love the place. But the park? Fuck that. And fuck the selfishness of the closet cases who think they can appropriate the parks for their romps. Aside from being a homo who loves sex, I am also someone who uses the parks for things like kid’s parties, frisbe, and dog walks.
M Shane
I always thought that it was more fun going to it in more inaccessable places like up in trees, up in bridges, on rooftops. It takes a little imagination and adventursomeness but sex has a whole new athletic aspect -ie.it’s healthy.
Kiwibird
Biting closeted married men who are cheating on their wives in the ass? By all means send in the dogs. Learn to cheat in a hotel room where the world doesn’t need to see your pasty insecure ass getting pounded by your “Straight” buddy.
M Shane
I t seems as if the most constructive solution to a lot of that need for casual meeting would be met if there were bathhouses where HIV healthy sex was encouraged.
InExile
I think the idea is cruel to the doggies. I am so tired of people abusing animals. Doggies have hearts too.
Yuki
@Andrew:
I think it’s the wording of the statement that made Queerty use the “dislike blacks and Hispanics” line; it sounds less like “stopping public sex” and more like “THOSE DAMN GAYS!”.
Andrew
@Yuki: That was “sarcastic.” Relax. Go get a puppy. Teach him some of your tricks, or introduce him to them.
Brian
Speaking of sex in public places:
A certain young man, dressed only in a linen cloth, followed Jesus. They tried to seize him, but he left the linen cloth behind and ran away naked.
Mark 14:51-52
schlukitz
@InExile:
Isn’t that funny. I was thinking the same thought myself. ;o)
InExile
@schlukitz: I miss my dear doggie, she was my best friend.
youcanthandlethetruth
Do you homosexuals still indulge in this kind of vile public misbehaviour?
I thought that was just an urban legend.
schlukitz
@InExile:
I can relate to that. Dogs have a loyalty that is rarely matched by humans.
They love unconditionally.
youcanthandlethetruth
@schlukitz: Actually dogs don’t really love at all.
They just follow the hand that feeds them.
Stop feeding your dog and see if he sticks around.
strumpetwindsock
@youcanthandlethetruth:
What? Jealous because some of you dumbass straights need to hire prostitutes and pay for it?
Obviously you have a great deal to teach us when it comes to classy behaviour.
But setting attack dogs loose without handlers? Is this a lifted from the National Enquirer? That’s a ridiculous idea that will never fly.
strumpetwindsock
@youcanthandlethetruth:
You know this from experience?
I doubt it, and I think you’re mistaken.
schlukitz
@youcanthandlethetruth:
Actually dogs don’t really love at all.
Coming from someone who does not know the meaning of love and is, himself, incapable of love, this is not a surprising statement.
You can’t know love, unless you feel it…and give it freely without expectation. Dogs have always come to me, whether I had food in hand or not. They can sense love from a distance.
Obviously, you couldn’t detect love if it was staring you in the face.
Food for thought.
fitz
@youcanthandlethetruth: The first time I saw public sex was in the men’s bathroom at a bar in the town i went to college, where a floozy was getting banged in the stall. The second time was at a house party where some girl was giving head in the living room to loud whoops and encouragement from her friends. In no way to the gays have a monopoly on this disgusting behavior.
schlukitz
@schlukitz:
And what of dogs that have pined to their death atop their Master’s grave?
You think they were just waiting for him to come back and feed them?
What a complete ass you are. You know nothing of life.
jason
Parks are for picnics, not putting out. If you want to have sex, go find a room.
This should apply to anyone regardless of sexual orientation.
youcanthandlethetruth
@schlukitz: Sorry if I keep prickling your little bubble of delusion.
TADPOLICUS WEX
@youcanthandlethetruth: You’re way past due for your Zoloft.
schlukitz
@fitz:
When I lived in New York City, my partner and I used to go to Central Park on a nice, sunny Sunday to spend the afternoon there.
Naturally, people, both straight and gay, brought blankets and picnic lunches. More often than not, it was the straight couples that were “dry’humping” each other, in plain view of everyone else and it was not unusual to come across a str8 couple lying behind a rock or large tree making out like two dogs in heat and who made no effort to conceal their making out.
No one ever said a word about that. Even the cops looked the other way. After all…it was “natural” and the way God intended sex to be. One man and one woman.
At least the gays who did have sex in the park, had the decency to do it in the bushes where no one would be witness to it. They weren’t sucking dick or fucking in plain view of anyone’s kids.
Of course, there were always the “moral police” that beat the bushes looking for such “criminal activity” because the judge could fine the shit out of the “perverts” and they would pay-up gladly, just to keep their names out of the papers.
Of course, there were always the cops who would accept a bribe to turn them loose and not run them into the local police station. It was a shake-down racket that went on for years before Stonewall occurred, just like the many other shake-down rackets that the police worked the gay community for.
Question? Will the same attack dogs that will be going after ‘sex-in-the-park-gays”, also be turned on straights indulging in public sex in the park as well?
What fucking hypocrites some heteros can be.
schlukitz
@youcanthandlethetruth:
Sorry if I keep prickling your little bubble of delusion.
No you’re not. You’re not sorry about anything. You’re just sorry. Period
And “prickling” is precisely what a prick like you is so good at doing.
Tell me, do you do that with your right hand…or your left hand?
InExile
@youcanthandlethetruth: Maybe if no one fed you would go crawl under the nearest rock. My experience with dogs is they love, have feelings, and my last dog was smarter than most humans. People like you are not only cruel to gays but cruel to animals. such a comments says a lot about your character, you must not have any feeling for anyone except yourself. Shame on you!
InExile
@InExile: Yes, I know typos, will be more careful next time.
schlukitz
@InExile:
you must not have any feeling for anyone except yourself.
Not to disprove you or make you wrong, I would go one further. I would suggest that YCHTT does NOT not love himself, and thus his hatred and condemnation of everyone around him…including animals.
It is a well-known fact in the field of psychiatry, that in order to love another human being, you must first love yourself. YCHTT/s disgust and hatred for homosexuals spring from the disgust and hatred he feels for himself and is the barometer by which he measures every other living thing on the planet.
People like YCHTT are very often the same ones who wind up taking their own lives because they reach a point where they no longer tolerate the sense of lonliness that engulfs and consumes them as a result of the hatred stored up inside.
I wouldn’t want to be youcanthandthetruth for all the tea in China. His life must be unbearable if the only thing he can find to do with his time, is hang around in these chat rooms sprewing his hatred and venom. What a pitiful excuse for a human being.
fitz
For me, sex in the park is too much of “living the stereotype”. And you know, I live in a place that has as many sex venues as starbucks.
schlukitz
@schlukitz:
Ditto for DuttyBarb.
galefan2004
@Brian: Actually in the lost gospels this story is expanded on and Jesus actually raised this young man from the dead and this man’s only wish was to spend the night with Jesus. The lost gospels are the ones the Catholic church (we all know how well the Catholic church is liked now don’t we) decided shouldn’t be in the official cannon.
youcanthandlethetruth
@schlukitz: By now we all know how you love to create your own little bubble of delusion and then curl up inside of it to escape reality!
But the fact is I love many people and am loved in return by many people.
I don’t hate homosexuals nor do I accept their behaviour as anything but abnormal.
As for my comment about dogs – stop feeding yours for a few days and see if he still loves you!
And be careful when you go cruising in the park.
galefan2004
@youcanthandlethetruth: You walk a delusional line. You don’t hate us you just think we should burn in hell, are worse than / can be equated to child molesters, and that you are better than us simply by the factor of your heterosexuality. That sure the fuck sounds like hate to me.
Seriously, I get that you are a sad assed mother fucking idiot that only attacks gays because it allows you to honestly feel like you are better than a group of people when in fact you are not, yet I do not hate you I just accept your ability to judge all others in order to make yourself feel less sad and inadequate than you really are as anything else than normal.
By the way, abnormal is negative so when you say anything but abnormal it means you accept it as normal.
youcanthandlethetruth
I don’t think you should burn in hell, nor do I think I’m better than you or you are worse than child molesters.
That’s just you wallowing in your own self-imposed victimhood.
However there are similarities between homosexuality and pedophilia or other forms of deviant human sexuality. That’s just a fact.
And when you describe me as a “a sad assed mother fucking idiot” I have to assume that is based on bigoted, intolerant hatred on your part.
I have no idea what you’re trying to say in your last sentence.
schlukitz
To the Editors of Queerty:
The following is a cut and paste from youcanthandlethetruth’s most recent post no. 36.
However there are similarities between homosexuality and pedophilia or other forms of deviant human sexuality. That’s just a fact.
This is an oft-repeated lie that has posted over and over and over by this rabid, religious, straight, anti-gay and homophobic agent provocateur.
A perusal of his comments since he began posting on Queerty, will reveal a wealth of slanderous comments, misrepresentations and outright lies, such as the above all designed to agitate people and incite angry rebuttals.
What is particularly disturbing to me and others on these threads, is the fact that Queerty has chosen to turn a blind-eye to the many flags of his comments, as well as email to holla@queerty drawing attention to the fact that YCHTT comments are way over the top and beneath contempt, let alone the fact that they flagrantly violate your TOS.
Even more disturbing, is the fact that Queerty has seen fit to ban certain victims of the onslaught of verbal abuse emanating from the foul mouths of people like YCHTT simply for attempting to defend themselves from Christo-fascist like him…and on a gay site, no less!
I am having a very hard time wrapping my head around this enigma.
Perhaps the Editors of Queerty might find it in their hearts to enlighten those of us who are trying to be gentlemen and abide by your states terms of service and whose only wish is to have a place where we can have a respectful exchange of dialogue that is free from racism, bigotry, hatred and religious abuse?
youcanthandlethetruth
Some examples of the libel heaped on me:
“a sad assed mother fucking idiot”
“People like YCHTT are very often the same ones who wind up taking their own lives because they reach a point where they no longer tolerate the sense of lonliness that engulfs and consumes them as a result of the hatred stored up inside.”
“People like you are not only cruel to gays but cruel to animals.”
“asshat christers fundie pigs such as yourself ”
But that’s ok, I forgive all of these comments because I place such a high value on the importance of free speech.
Mark C.
@schlukitz: This conversation went fine, even with Religion, until YCHTT started the vile hate speech again. Ban the loser.
InExile
@youcanthandlethetruth: So why don’t you speak freely about the name of your church, the address, and telephone number. political organizations pay taxes so our government need money to pay for health care. Unless your church is a 527, then their are other rules governing those we can take a look at. Please do tell so we can start investigating.
BrodyIsHuge
Gay is something you do, not something you are. You can’t compare it to race. Having sex in a public park is akin to trying to eat in a restaurant or get a job? Get the fuck outta here.
Meanwhile, When are gays going to stand on their on two feet and demand equality because they are human? We don’t need to bring race into it. We are fucking human and it doesn’t matter what Martin Luther King said. Quit being lazy and form your own movement.