How To Tell Your Loved One He Doesn’t Look Good In Spandex

I once dated a guy who insisted on wearing a shell necklace. Or didn’t so much insist on it as he did just forgot not to wear it. Every day. I solved that problem like so: by breaking up with him. Four months later. So I can totally relate to the trouble Mitch had on last night’s Modern Family, conniving with his sister to put it delicately that Cam does not look good in bike shorts.