How many times have you admired a cute guy at the bar or club and thought: Hmmm. I wonder if that dude’s a top or a bottom?
Determining a man’s preferred position in the bedroom based solely on his physical appearance can be next to impossible. Sometimes the bottomest seeming bottom will surprise you by saying he’s a top. Or a guy you swear is a total top will leave you completely dumbfounded when he admits he loves being penetrated.
But according to blue-eyed British vlogger/anthropologist John Bird, a gay man’s preferred position can be decoded by closely observing the way he moves on the dance floor.
“Some people actually believe that they can tell a person’s ‘position’ from their gyrations,” says Bird.
Bottoms, he explains, use “smooth hip movements” not dissimilar to “a mating call,” whereas tops either don’t dance, dance extremely badly, or do so in a “very typical macho way.”
Watch Bird’s informative video, complete with dance move demonstrations, below.
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Chris
I prefer to look at how someone plays pool. A top will break with a strong full-body thrust and hit with a deep penetrating follow through even if the hit is gentle. A bottom will make sure he is well balanced on the balls of his feet and that he stays well-balanced throughout the thrust. Someone who is versatile will adapt to changing situations as the positioning of the cue ball dictates, so to speak.
Larry
It us just disgusting that we would even label ourselves by a sex act!
Sweet Boy
The best way to figure out who`s bottom and who`s the top is by observing a gay couple eat at a restaurant…the top will order a steak and the bottom will order a salad…those who are versatile will order fish
Scribe38
@Sweet Boy: My baby is a bottom and always ordered the steak. I’m verse and order seafood so maybe you’re partially right. Lol
deltabadhand
What a load of hooey…
Brian
I wish we’d start using “top” and “bottom” as verbs rather than nouns.
jayj150
“…whereas tops either don’t dance, dance extremely badly, or do so in a “very typical macho way.””
Right. Also, bottoms are shorter, effeminate, sassy, hairless and universally bad at sports. Tops are better at math, good at fixing cars, and make more money. Seriously, it’s not just ridiculous stereotypes, it’s “science”!!!
phunkydb
What a bunch of shit! First of all anybody that dances like they’re in a britney spears video, is not anybody i’d be looking at. And all that gay shit taking your shirt off and grinding with somebody on the dance floor is soooo tacky. Yeah their so healthy going to the gym 9 times a week so they could show their body off at the club and they got a gram of crystal meth in their pocket.. That’s real healthy and attractive? Gay men are soooo predictable anymore, it’s boring and played out big time! Yeah I’m gay so I’m bashing my own kind… I like the unusual masculine guys in the background that leave some imagination and mystery to themselves then put a show on.
patricko
To be clear, nobody needs to “admit” to being a bottom. Whole Pride movement and all ain’t just about a parade.
money718
I like the cute little white guy videos on You tube better.
Saint Law
The best way to tell if somebody is a top or bottom is watching them fuck. The one that likes a dick up his arse is a bottom. While the one who likes putting his dick up the other one’s arse – he’s a top.
It’s not rocket science. Well, actually it is. Sorta.
Billy Budd
Most people *should* be versatile. It is the most natural thing to do.
stanhope
Well if this weren’t written in a serious tone it’d be laughable. I once took home the butchest, deep voiced hot blonde you could imagine. I thought I was wasting my time in that he’d surely be a top. He thought I was a bottom as my hair is long. I just knew I’d be heading home in a hurry. Well as Gomer Pyle said, SURPRISE, SURPRISE!!! I, a total top and he a former total top dated for well over a year. Lesson: unless you ask, you just don’t know and even then you may not.
Kieru
@Saint Law: This assumes there is a binary choice. What if you like both?
rextrek
I say it depends on hygiene – cause’ as far as anal…for me anyways – hygiene is paramount
DannX68
Back in the day before the internet (showing my age here 😉 ) I never came across the “top” and “bottom” terms. You met a guy, you were attracted to each other and went home together and then figured it out.
TundraMichael
@ DannX68 – they were doing the top and bottom thing back in the day of bandanas. Which pocket you put it in indicated if you were “active or receptive”. It was worded that way, because top or bottom wasn’t always a good description for the activity indicated by the bandana’s color.
vive
@DannX68, you must have been a shut-in then. 🙂 I was there too and these terms have been around since long before the internet.
Tobi
@Brian: +1, we’ve only just got over “butch” and “bitch”. Now, if we could only rid ourselves of “straight” and… oh, yes… “bent”. 😉
vive
What’s the word for liking to be both top and bottom at the SAME time (which needs two other guys, of course)? The word “versatile” doesn’t quite capture just how delightful it is.
DannX68
@vive: Maybe in the US, but not all of us in here are from there. I was defintely not a shut-in, but it really wasn’t used in Denmark. The first time I heard it was in 1998 from a Danish friend living in New York.
DannX68
@TundraMichael: Maybe bandanas were a big thing in the US, but not in Denmark. I had heard about the bandana codes, but actually only saw VERY VERY few using them.
Random
@vive: Actually, DannX68’s experiences mirror mine, and I was going out all the time and meeting lots of guys, so definitely not a ‘shut-in’. By the early 90s, the whole bandana/hanky code thing was seen as passé in London and only really done by guys who were into the leather S/M scene. The fact is, people then did pretty much just meet in bars/clubs and then whatever happened in bed, happened.
vive
@Random, @DannX86, well, yes, you went home with someone (and still do today) without first asking what he wanted to do in bed. In my experience this is still the case, whether you meet someone in person or (often) online. (I have had a number of online hookups in the recent past where sexual position wasn’t discussed beforehand.)
But while the hanky code died out before my time, the terminology top/bottom certainly existed since I can remember. You didn’t ask someone before bedding him, but the next day you might tell your friends, oh, that guy I went home with was a total top/bottom.
dave lopes
You can’t really tell by looking at someone or how they dance.
I know drag queens that were toping non-dancing thugs in the hood.
SteveDenver
He’s adorable!
enlightenone
Well that covers white guys with no swag as the top; and white and black gay bottoms who are effeminate. Next study! Vers will throw their legs up over their hands when you least expect it and will not come up for air when they are BJ-ing you. Lol!
enlightenone
@phunkydb: ” I like the unusual masculine guys in the background that leave some imagination and mystery to themselves then put a show on.”
Knowing this you are the one that can “bash our kind!”
enlightenone
@DannX68: “Back in the day before the internet (showing my age here ;)”
Don’t be modest. Do you means before 8 track tapes?
enlightenone
@dave lopes: “I know drag queens that were toping non-dancing thugs in the hood.”
I almost spit out my ice cream!!!
dannyboi2
@Sweet Boy: LOL……