clean hands

How You Fags Made Karl Rove Turn Gay Marriage Into a Presidential Campaign Issue

Guys. You all thought Karl Rove was the guy who masterminded making gay marriage a wedge issue in the 2004 White House race, but he sooo is not responsible for making it a big deal. You’re giving this guy a bad rap, and it’s gotta stop right now!

“Gay marriage was an ugly fight we had not asked for but could win if we handled with care,” says Rove in his (probably) intolerable new book Courage and Consequence: My Life as a Conservative in the Fight. “Done right, our response to gay marriage could show it was possible to bring a courteous and caring tone to a divisive issue. The issue also revealed the nuttiness of the Left, which never saw how persistent America’s traditionalism really was. Instead, the Left seemed convinced that Bush and I engineered the issue’s emergence to drive Bush partisans to the polls. But, of course, it was a liberal supreme court that brought the issue to the fore.”

That “liberal” court, of course, was Massachusetts Supreme Court, which legalized gay marriage in that state. And Rove and Bush’s “courteous and caring tone” that was the response “done right”? Proposing the Constitutional amendment defining marriage as between a man and a woman. “Neither Bush nor I regret his stand on gay marriage,” he writes. “The issue was thrust upon us and we were perfectly willing to make our case. To overturn the time-honored definition of marriage is a socially revolutionary act. To do so through the courts and against the will of the people makes the attempt even more radical.”

There are so many flaws in this reasoning, we almost don’t want to take all the fun out of letting you point them out. (Or preclude you from bringing up the whole “stop saying my stepdad was gay” ordeal.) But one in particular, that even the Obama administration continues to highlight, is this: The executive branch of government does not, and should not involve itself in so-called state issues, which Massachusetts’ marriage equality debate became.

To paint himself as an innocent in a transparent attempt to drive conservative voters to the polls based on discrimination is, well, exactly what we’d expect from Karl Rove.

[quotes via CNN]

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  • terrwill

    I was going to try and figger out the old “pot calling the kettle black” but I think its more appropriate: “Gay calling the Gay a Gay”…………………(hows divorced life Karly???)

  • romeo

    The words “courteous” and “caring” in reference to Karl Rove almost made my computer crash. The guy is not a conservative, he’s a perfect nothing, a cipher. He was simply an opportunist. But no matter. His day is done, and his fat, cynical ass is rapidly running off a cliff. Wait and see.

  • Shade

    Head on a spike.

  • Madame Parrish

    Don’t hold your breath for Obama to take this on either, fags. Hahahahahahahahahhahaha!!!!

  • Mike in Asheville, nee "in Brooklyn"

    @No. 3 Shade

    Heads were spiked after being chopped off. If you will allow me, may I suggest that in Rove’s case, the spike be shoved up his ass until “head on a spike.”

  • Mr. Enemabag Jones

    Rove has for years, painted himself as being besties with Bush. However, considering Bush’s nicname for Rove is “turd blossom” and how dismissive he was of Rove, this smacks of the nerd, who got to hang with the popular kids for one afternoon and thought he was now part of their clique.

  • Michael W.

    @Mr. Enemabag Jones: There’s a book or movie on Karl Rove that claimed Rove admired Bush as the cool, commanding jock he always wanted to be.

    Was it “Bush’s Brain”?

  • Cam

    Oh Please, he had his strategy of “To win you just need more than 50%” he went for the culture war because although it wouldn’t make his guy incredibly popular, it could swing enough votes their way. NOW he’s trying to back off that? Well yeah, he should considering the GOP lost big last election because his tactics had polarized everybody so much. (Oh, and they had a shit candidate)

  • Mr. Enemabag Jones

    @Michael W.:

    that claimed Rove admired Bush as the cool, commanding jock he always wanted to be.

    I’ve heard of the documentary, but never saw it. It wouldn’t surprise me if Rove had a hard-on for Bush, while Bush still viewed him as a nerd.

  • Lanjier

    Hey asshole, gay marriages do not “overturn” straight marriages, straight marriages stay exactly as they were – intact and undamaged. Oh wait, except by the damaging institution of divorce, which you have no problem with. Fuckwad.

  • B

    No. 5 · Mike in Asheville, nee “in Brooklyn” wrote, “If you will allow me, may I suggest that in Rove’s case, the spike be shoved up his ass until ‘head on a spike.'”

    The actual technique for impalement, if you want to maximize discomfort, is a bit different: . I won’t quote it so that sensitive readers will be spared the gory details.

  • hephaestion

    Yeah, it sure was ruthless of them liberals to stand up for justice and equality and shit. What were they thinking???

  • topsnap

    Republicans uphold principles only when faced with a false opposition. Gay people, minorities, and socialists fall victim to their rash stereotypical Americanism. They suck, but only because the democrats deftly generalize their contempt. Anyway, those two goons, especially Rove, deserve a big E for Effort. The nerve to walk all over the constitution takes big, though likely empty, balls.

  • Devon

    …Bitch please.

  • Zach

    SHould we mention the fact he and his wife got divorced? Clearly us awful gays do destroy marriages.

  • Lymis

    “Done right, our response to gay marriage could show it was possible to bring a courteous and caring tone to a divisive issue. ”

    In other words, as long as we were careful to use polite language and delicate euphemisms, we were able to convince a lot of people that voting away fundamental civil rights wasn’t bigoted, evil, or Anti-American.

    And as an added win, we used the gay issue (which we knew we could win anyway) to fine tune our strategy of lying through our teeth at every opportunity and getting away with it.

    Nothing personal. Some of our best friends are fags out to destroy society.

  • Lance Rockland

    Karl Rove is an asslicking fuckface. He deserves to burn in Hell for all the lives he has destroyed over the years. He is SCUM!

  • Francis

    I hope someone gets a baseball bat, smashes his fat face in with it, then jumps up and down on his prone carcass until blood spurts out of every pore. All of this, of course, while he is still alive so he can feel every inch of pain. This man is one of the most despicable creatures ever to get anywhere near the public consciousness, and the only adequate punishment for him is a painful, miserable death. The damage he has done will be felt for years, and he just walks away from it all, fat and happy. Someone please kill him. Please.

  • mark

    kkkarl = kapo vichy faggot

  • tjr101

    Ughh… how could anyone in our community miss these two fuckwards? Any Log Cabiners, GOProuders or whatever care to explain? The picture of these two is both repulsive and offensive.


    I don’t like the guy myself, but what you’re pleading for is too extreme for my taste.

  • Tom Degan

    For people like me, what makes American politics so much fun are the gold mines chock full of unintentional humor – generously provided to us by the likes of Dick Cheney and Karl Rove! Seriously, these two (and daughter Liz) are the gifts that keep giving and giving and giving!

    It’s going to be a hoot in the next few years as the Bush Mob try to rewrite history in their memoirs. I imagine it will be the equivalent of trying to put a smiley face on a dead pig: “Well, looky thar, Mildred! Ain’t that purdy?”

    In 2000 when the people of the United States stupidly sent George W. Bush to the White House, we effectively pointed the proverbial loaded pistol at our own collective heads. Four years later, on Election day 2004 – make no mistake about it – we pulled the trigger.

    Tom Degan
    Goshen, NY

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