“Huckabee May Have Lost Weight, But He’s Still A Pig.”

Millions of homos and heteros are incensed over Mike Huckabee’s recent comments about HIV/AIDS, including HIV positive queer Jack Jett. Read what he had to say about the Republican presidential candidate, after the jump…

When 16 -year old Mike Huckabee first joined the world of religious show business, he astonished his congregation by turning a gallon of water into a gallon of wine. It wasn’t really wine, of course, but red water. Never mind that Huckabee lifted this lesson from a chemistry class, the goal was to, as Billy Flynn would say, “razzle-dazzle them, and they’ll make you a star”.

Now Preacher Huck has taken his act on the road and receives rave review for his politically-minded one liners. His recent zinger about “Jesus was too smart to ever run for President” had a republican audience and political pundits laughing hysterically as if they had just seen the second coming of Rodney Dangerfield.

The mainstream and liberal press have been fawning all over the Preacher man for months. We all love it when fat people get thin, i.e. Star Jones, Oprah Winfrey, Carnie Wilson, and Oprah Winfrey again. Huckabee’s is the affable sort of evangelical, the kind you would like to sit down and have a cold near-beer with. However, let’s call a spade a spade. He was a fat bastard who ate everything insight and through prayer, got thin. His weight loss was dramatic; I applaud anyone who has the tenacity to loose that much weight, as well as those who are wealthy enough to pay for the surgery.

During his 1992 Senatorial campaign, somewhere between his chicken fried steak and cream gravy, Huckabee wrote, “If the federal government is truly serious about doing something about the AIDS virus, we need to take steps that would isolate the carriers of this plague.” He added “Homosexuality is an aberrant, unnatural and sinful lifestyle and we know it can pose a dangerous public heath risk.” Hello, preacher man, can I hear gluttony in the house, you hypocritical homophobic fat fuck?

Two years prior to Huckabee’s moralistic statements, Ronald Reagan apologized for his “neglect of the epidemic” while he was President. This is the man who all Republican candidates want to model themselves after. Even the first President Bush signed the American with Disabilities Act in 1990, which protects HIV positive persons from discrimination.

Considering the publics increased interest in and education on HIV/AIDS, I can’t help but wonder what could Huckabee’s plan entailed. Was he going to send us to Guantanamo Bay? Were we going to get all of our taxes that we had paid into this country back? If he was so close to Jesus that he validated his parking, then why didn’t he just ask Jesus to heal those with HIV?

The reason it doesn’t make sense is because it is moronic. Just like the fact that he now wants all undocumented workers to pay a fine, and then be shipped home, then return at a later date with processed paper work. Or like using taxpayer money to fund a marathon funeral for Reagan, a man whose presidential silence allowed thousands of people with AIDS die without uttering the word.

Sometimes it is hard to find rationality in evangelical hypocrisy and Mr. Huckabee is no exception. Today, while he refuses to recant or retract his position on isolating those with HIV, he is still skirting around a decision he made to release a convicted rapist, Wayne DuMond from prison. Since Mr. DuMond had found Jesus in prison (Mr. C seems to hang there a lot), Huckabee convinced the parole board to set him free. No isolation or quarantine for this serial rapist. Set free by the isolationist Huckabee, DuMond went on to rape and suffocate 39 year old Carol Sue Shields. One must have a pretty warped sense of morality to release a criminal, yet isolate the sick.

Given a chance on Sunday by none other than Fox News to clarify his 1992 comments, the Huckster refused to back down.. He also cited the well know case of Kimberly Bergalis, who had supposedly contracted the HIV virus from her dentist. Even though by this time, it was well documented that HIV was not airbourne and the Bergalis urban legend was debunked when we found that she wasn’t the “virgin” she painted herself out to be as she had been diagnosed with genital warts and STD’s.

Today, Mr Huckabee claims that his administration “will be the first to have an overarching strategy for dealing with HIV and AIDS” and this frightens me. Personally, I find his venomous verbiage offensive to the memory of our friends that are no longer here to call him out. I think I can speak for them when I say that Mike Huckabee may have lost weight, but he is still a pig.

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