Hugh Hefner Just Got A Marriage License—And You Can’t

Octogenarian stud Hugh Hefner is getting ready to tie the knot again! He and sweetheart Crystal Harris picked up a marriage license yesterday, more than a year after Harris left him at the altar the first go-round.

Harris, 26, started dating Hefner while he was still seeing the Shannon Twins—the three served as something of harem for the magazine magnate.

So a non-monogamous pornographer getingt hitched to a runaway bride 60 years his junior isn’t tarnishing the sacred institution of marriage—but gays and lesbians are?

Ah, who are we kidding? Marriage is a contract between two people—so long as they’re both on the same page, we got no problem.

Have fun, kids!