Rampant Speculation

Hugh Jackman: Man, Animal, Homosexual

Poor Hugh Jackman. He does so much for us– takes off his shirt, looks good in gold lamé and leather (no easy feat, we tell you) and still, all anybody wants to know is whether the singing, dancing, muscled-up heartthrob is a big ‘mo or not. This week, we saw another in Jackman’s continuing series of polite non-denials about his sexuality, telling Parade, “‘I’d be happy to go and deny it because I’m not…But by denying it, I’m saying there is something shameful about it – and there isn’t anything shameful.” Now, parse that sentence carefully and it’s clear that Jackman didn’t actually really say he was straight! So we can keep asking him! Or rather, we can do what most everyone else does, which is to stare at video clips and try to determine the real truth.

Well, if you’re looking for further proof that Jackman can be a convincing gay guy, just watch his Tony performance of “The Boy Next Door” from The Boy From Oz, the 2004 musical where Jackman played Australian songwriter (and flamebot) Peter Allen. While playing gay for accolades is all the rage, it takes a certain special skill to play a gay character as outrageous as Allen and not reduce it to stereotype. We sort of love that Jackman-as-Allen improves with Sara Jessica Parker– after all, were Peter Allen alive today, he’d have done the same, but is Jackman’s flame the product of acting technique or something more? Duh, duh, duhhhhhhh.

Verdict:
Gay

You may have heard that Hugh Jackman is Wolverine and if you haven’t received the memo just wait til May’s X-Men: Origins: Wolverine, which is supposed to be just as awkward as its title suggests it will be. Of course, being a super-sexy super-healing mutant with chest hair and a cigar-habit sounds awfully macho and not at all gay until you pick up a Tom of Finland catalog and notice the eerie resemblance. Still, anything which inspires a fan tribute video set to Evanescence is almost guaranteed to be straight.

Verdict: Straight

If you’ve never caught Rove Live’s montage of him asking random male celebs who they’d turn gay for, you’re in for a treat, but if anyone takes the um– cake — it’s Hugh Jackman, who manages to make Rove sweat and frankly, turn us on with his deep voice intoning, “I need you to look at me.”

Verdict: Would it be totally immoral, if we as a society, just decided that Hugh Jackman had to sex all of us and we just passed him around or maybe lent him out lottery style? That’d be okay, right?

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26 Comments

  • faghag

    He can whatever he wants to be, it’s not as if any of would ever hget a chance to be with him.

  • jake

    he’s a great entertainer

  • Bruno

    “because I’m not” seems pretty straightforward to me. Not to mention his wife who likes to shout the point in women’s restrooms.

  • John from England(used to be just John but there are other John's)

    Who cares?? Leave him!

    You guys did this to Jakey G and then now he’s planning to marry that cold fish R WitherSPOON!

  • Sampson

    Queerty, I’m not sure if this is wilful ignorance or not, but the man says ‘but i’m not’. I’m not sure how you are parsing his response, but that bit seems pretty clear and unambiguous to me.

  • alan brickman

    hugh jackson can do nothing wrong….very hot regardless of his sexuality…and isn’t it refreshing that a masc guy says gays are ok??….you need to evolve your thinking…

  • mikebuc

    He’s obviously very secure with who he is. He’s very open minded and progressive. He’s a dynamic entertainer. And, he’s NOT gay. Why is that so hard to accept?

  • louann

    amen mikebu@mikebuc: amen.

  • louann

    Has anyone noticed that he doesn’t sing that well?

  • cdawg

    Yes seriously.. hes NOT gay so just stop. It’s such a waste of time and words. And yes “because I’m not” IS VERY straightforward. Wow today must have been a REALLY slow news day. This story sucks. Post something we care about and stop trying to live your lame, unsubstantiated fantasies.

  • Geoff

    Oh please…..where is the sense of humor? There is nothing wrong with an unattainable crush, nor in wishing out loud. Get a grip. (or maybe that’s the problem…no grip).

  • Bitches, please

    We need to leave him the fuck alone. Along comes this great guy who is willing to protect our dignity (“But by denying it, I’m saying there is something shameful about it – and there isn’t anything shameful.”) and we use even THAT against him to make our ridiculous point, that he is gay! Dream on, bitches! And then in the next breath we make a big shit about the beauty queen contestent who did not show us support! It is damned if they do and they are damned if they don’t. There is no winning with our sorry asses, is there?

  • nikko

    Gays demand an acceptance they don’t even have for themselves, so they go around ripping everyone else to shreds, both allies and friends. Fuck off, you stupid faggots. “You” are so fickle, shallow, hypocritical,etc. The world has enough evil straight people, don’t add more shit to the pile.

  • jason

    How do you know he isn’t bisexual? I find a lot of actors are able to parse their way out of conceding to same-sex experiences by saying “I’m not gay” when in fact they are bisexual. Perhaps we in the gay community should be asking Hugh and the others the following simple question: are you bi?

    As for his so-called talents, lame. Just another lame Australian, frankly.

  • jason

    Actually, did you know that when the Peter Allen biopic “Boy From Oz” – in which Hugh played the Allen role – played in Australia, the male-make kiss was taken out of it by the producers, apparently. Fancy that. There seemed to be an aversion to showing Hugh kissing another man on stage. Talk about unusual. There was some talk that Hugh himself had insisted that the male-male kiss be removed.

    Perhaps Hugh needs to stop denying for a change. Someone somewhere knows something, hence the constant questioning.

  • Disgusted American

    Hugh Jackman is FUCKING GORGEOUS!

  • Sampson

    @jason: Well, I’d take your (rather weak) allegations seriously if you hadn’t just dimissed him as ‘another lame Australian’.

  • Sampson

    @jason: And while the kiss did appear to be taken out of the (second) Australian version, the first Australian version and the Broadway versoin (both with Jackman) did have the kiss. You can see it here: Hugh getting a kiss

  • scott ny'er

    Agreed with some above. It’s straightforward. He said, I’m not.

    @Sampson: thanks for the clip link. Man, tho, that kiss seemed kinda lame. No passion, or emotion behind it.

  • Sampson

    @scott ny’er: I agree that the kiss was passionless – which makes the producers’ reasons for taking it out of the Australian arena version seem less credible. But the idea that Jackman suddenly decided he was going to censor the play after playing it with the kiss for years, including in the US where it would arguably be more detrimental to his career, seems unlikely.

  • AJ

    Jason himself is the lamest Australian of all.

  • Kirsten

    I don’t really care if Hugh Jackman is gay or straight. i just like to look at him…

    yeah, i am a lesbian, but still…

  • afrolito

    His wife looks like a total dyke.

  • luciferosirisarnold

    Hugh is a fine man who is one good actor.

  • GranDiva

    Do I care if he’s gay or straight? Not especially.
    Am I for the notion that the entire world, male, female, animal, vegetable, mineral, should sex him until he’s plumb wore out? Hells yeah. I would consider it his contribution to the bettering of the universe.

  • Smiley

    @GranDiva:
    GranDiva:
    So true! couldn’t have said it better myself. Someone else said he can’t sing…..I never noticed, too busy wiping the drool from my chin, every time he’s on. Mmmmm mmmmm good.

Comments are closed.