Rampant Speculation

Hugh Jackman: Man, Animal, Homosexual

Poor Hugh Jackman. He does so much for us– takes off his shirt, looks good in gold lamé and leather (no easy feat, we tell you) and still, all anybody wants to know is whether the singing, dancing, muscled-up heartthrob is a big ‘mo or not. This week, we saw another in Jackman’s continuing series of polite non-denials about his sexuality, telling Parade, “‘I’d be happy to go and deny it because I’m not…But by denying it, I’m saying there is something shameful about it – and there isn’t anything shameful.” Now, parse that sentence carefully and it’s clear that Jackman didn’t actually really say he was straight! So we can keep asking him! Or rather, we can do what most everyone else does, which is to stare at video clips and try to determine the real truth.

Well, if you’re looking for further proof that Jackman can be a convincing gay guy, just watch his Tony performance of “The Boy Next Door” from The Boy From Oz, the 2004 musical where Jackman played Australian songwriter (and flamebot) Peter Allen. While playing gay for accolades is all the rage, it takes a certain special skill to play a gay character as outrageous as Allen and not reduce it to stereotype. We sort of love that Jackman-as-Allen improves with Sara Jessica Parker– after all, were Peter Allen alive today, he’d have done the same, but is Jackman’s flame the product of acting technique or something more? Duh, duh, duhhhhhhh.


You may have heard that Hugh Jackman is Wolverine and if you haven’t received the memo just wait til May’s X-Men: Origins: Wolverine, which is supposed to be just as awkward as its title suggests it will be. Of course, being a super-sexy super-healing mutant with chest hair and a cigar-habit sounds awfully macho and not at all gay until you pick up a Tom of Finland catalog and notice the eerie resemblance. Still, anything which inspires a fan tribute video set to Evanescence is almost guaranteed to be straight.

Verdict: Straight

If you’ve never caught Rove Live’s montage of him asking random male celebs who they’d turn gay for, you’re in for a treat, but if anyone takes the um– cake — it’s Hugh Jackman, who manages to make Rove sweat and frankly, turn us on with his deep voice intoning, “I need you to look at me.”

Verdict: Would it be totally immoral, if we as a society, just decided that Hugh Jackman had to sex all of us and we just passed him around or maybe lent him out lottery style? That’d be okay, right?