Doll parts

“Human Ken Doll” says he was drugged, robbed, and had his teeth smashed out

Camera ready !! #rodrigoalves

A post shared by Rodrigo Alves (@rodrigoalvesuk) on

Tabloid fave Rodrigo Alves — better known as The Human Ken Doll — is highly distraught after allegedly drinking a “spiked” cocktail and being “mugged” while just trying to have himself a good, old-fashioned night on the town.

He tells The Sun he awoke groggily the next morning to find all his pretty veneers shattered to pieces and lying hither and yon all over his foofy pillows.

Reportedly, he met a group of women in Marbella, and they put a bunch of expensive drinks on his bar tab without bothering to ask.

“I got really drunk,” he says. “We got our drinks spiked, we got mugged.”

“Basically they were talking to me, taking selfies saying ‘we love you you’re amazing’ and then suddenly they vanished.”

He tells The Sun the women were prostitutes and left him stuck with a €600 bar tab (about $720).

Managers of the establishment insisted he pay in full.

Related: “Human Ken Doll” abandons cosmetic surgery for a new obsession

He asked a friend to help with the tab, and she discovered hundreds of euros had been taken from her purse:

“They stole €400 out of her purse and they left with me a €600 bar tab to pay.”

There was nothing I could do about it.

So I went to pay the bill and my friend said, ‘I’ll help you’ but when she went to get money out she said, ‘Oh my god those girls have taken my money too’.

They just lied – they lied to the bar staff.”

And then?

He woke up the next morning lying beside all the shattered veneers and had to make an emergency dentist visit before flying off to Milan Fashion Week.

Talking to Mail Online, he says:

“I am man-made from head to teeth, and in the morning I woke up without three of them.

I had to run to an emergency dental clinic, who were able to glue and fix my big porcelain veneers.”

The plastic surgery obsessive was recently told he needed to stop going under the knife because of health concerns.

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  • ChrisK

    Ok part of that story is missing. Lol

  • Bob LaBlah

    Were I to see this freakish person walking down the street I know I would burst out laughing uncontrollably. From the neck down, beautiful (or should I say bootyful because he does have a nice pair of buns) but from the neck up? Well, lets just say I am sure he carries a brown paper bag with him or at least I hope he does.

    • CaliKyle

      It’s revolting from the neck down, too. Flabby arms and chest on top of a surgeon’s faux six pack courtesy of a scalpel, then on down to flabby, formless legs. His butt? Probably hard as a rock from silicone with a blown out hole to boot. Vile from head to toe, arse included.

  • BriBri

    He’s more of a freak than a trannie!


    Undergo a few minor tweaks and become a Debbie Harry impersonator instead

    • scotshot

      You make Debbie Harry cry. /s

  • Danny595

    FFS, this man is not gay. He has identified as straight for years, dates women and has never dated men. Even in this story, he is hanging out with women and spending hundreds of dollars on drinks for prostitutes. Yet Queerty keeps covering him as if his story has some connection with gay people. Queerty obviously associates gay people with insecurity, mental instability and weirdness.

  • DCguy

    Something is weird here. If his drinks were spiked how was he and the friend able to go up and discuss paying the bar tab with the staff there after the women had already left? And then he apparently went home and woke up the NEXT MORNING with his veneers shattered?

    There is a HUGE part of that story missing.

  • abachooklas

    No police/official report of this? Yeah, this TOTALLY happened. Was the Easter bunny there as well?

  • skilos

    His face looks more like Catlin, than Ken.

    • Phillip

      With those contact lens in place, he reminds me of a vampire. Truly gives me the chills when I look into his face. If he took acting lessons he should go for those roles and get another set with canine teeth that come down a half inch lower. Very scary man.

  • missuniverse

    Also, if this guy thinks himself as straight, he is only fooling himself.
    It is clear by merely looking at him, that he is a feminine gay.

  • Kenney G

    Is that Amanda Lepore

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