pandora's box

After husband agrees to threesome with another guy, wife “shocked” to learn she married a bisexual

After six years of marriage, a woman says she wanted to spice up her sex life, so she suggested to her husband that they have a threesome with another man. But things didn’t go quite like she hoped, so now she’s seeking help from advice guru Dear Sanders.

“He was excited by the idea but we agreed he would not actually have sex with the other guy,” the 33-year-old woman explains. “He said it would be a real buzz, though, to see me with another man and getting off on it.”

After finding a candidate online, a 28-year-old bisexual man, they invited him over to their house for a threesome. It was awesome, so they invited him back about half a dozen more times.

“It was really great and we all seemed to find it very exciting,” the woman says. “But then we didn’t hear from him for several months–or at least my husband said we had not.”

Then she stated noticing her husband growing more distant.

“I just assumed it was the pressure of work but I was taking some clothes to the dry cleaner’s one day and found a used condom wrapper when I turned out my husband’s coat pockets,” she says.

After snooping through his phone, she uncovered a video of their third performing oral sex on her husband.

“You can’t see my husband’s face, of course, but I recognized his voice,” she says. “I was so shocked.”

She hasn’t said anything to him about it yet, but now she wonders: What is going on? Is she in an open relationship? Can she really be upset when it was she who originally welcomed the third into their bedroom? Should she confront him about it?

In her response, Deidre tells the woman that, yeah, she kinda made her bed, but that doesn’t necessarily mean she needs to lie in.

“If ever there was a time for the saying ‘Be careful what you wish for’, this is it,” she says. “As you have discovered, involving other people in your sex life all too easily leads to misery for one or all of you.”

She continues, “You were acting with the approval of your husband when you went ahead with the threesomes, but he has gone behind your back. Maybe your husband discovered he has gay feelings he had never stirred up before, but this is cheating.”

Deidre includes by telling the woman she needs to confront her husband about it.

“He may well feel very confused about his sexuality and ashamed of deceiving you,” she advises, “but the two of you must get help to sort this one way or another.”

What do you think this woman should do? Sound off in the comments section below…