A married woman whose husband can’t quit watching gay adult videos has appealed to famed UK advice columnist Dear Diedre for help. It sounds like she needs it.
“Dear Diedre,” the anonymous woman writes. “I sometimes wonder if I’m enough for my man because he chooses to look at gay porn most days. I’m a woman of 45 and he’s 50. He told me he had an affair with a man when he was at university but he says he loves me and feels secure with me.”
“We do still have sex a couple of times a week,” the woman continues. “I have a condition which affects my mobility so I can’t get around as much as I used to. I love watching quizzes on TV, so while I watch those, he’s in the bedroom pleasuring himself to gay pornography. He doesn’t even hide it now. He does it five or six times a day.”
“I don’t want him with me out of duty and, deep down,” she concludes, “I think he’d rather be with a man.”
As always, Deidre offers her gentle but firm advice.
“Sexuality is on a sliding scale and we’re all somewhere along that line,” Deidre observes in her reply. “Your husband gets a thrill from watching gay men, but this is now an addiction. Porn is designed to be addictive – that’s how the film-makers profit from it.”
“Pornography blunts the appetite for real sex with a partner and this is where relationships often become unstuck,” Diedre continues. “You might not be up for swinging from the chandelier but you do your best.”
Diedre goes on to offer the hotline for a relationship counselor and recommends her own self-help writings.