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I Didn’t Know My High School Boyfriend Was Gay

Perhaps Margaret Cho said it best: “Fag Hags are the backbone of the gay community.”

And now we have our delightful memories documented on a blog. Charmingly empathetic for all of those war torn fruit flies out there who spent their formative years tongue kissing us gay boys in our pimpled adolescent glory, My High School Boyfriend Was Gay is like an international queer year book.

The blog creator and editor, Damian Bellino, takes careful note to caption these delicate moments with comedy gold like, “Cale and Ashley were wiped out after too much Indigo Girls and Sarah McLachlan” and “Lip-syncing the shit out of the Grease Megamix.”

Lord knows, we’ve all been there.

A few weeks ago InTouch Magazine ran a story (sorry, in print only) which proves that this is more of an epidemic than something that just happened to you and your unfortunate gal pal. So we encourage you to come out and be proud of those moments. Dig through your photo shoebox and find that tragically heinous haircut pic where Sandra-Jo is squeezing the life out of your underdeveloped homo booty on the dance floor and submit it to the blog.

And by the way – you may not have known your high school boyfriend was gay – but everyone else sure did.

Photo credit via My High school Boyfriend Was Gay

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  • Dylan

    Margaret Cho is wrong. Queers are the backbone of the Queer Community, and no one else. Allies are welcome and have a place, but the fact that you support us doesn’t mean that without you, we’re nothing.

  • Nick Thiwerspoon

    “Fag Hag” is a horrible phrase: patronising, ill-mannered, offensive. The sooner it’s dispensed with, the better. Straight women who support us deserve better than this. They’re not on our side because they want to get into our pants, but because as women they understand all about prejudice. And to call someone a “hag” is just horrid. Don’t do it.

  • sam

    @Nick Thiwerspoon: i’m sorry, but have a cry.
    fag hag is an amusing (and affectionate) term, that my hag, dearest Claire, enjoys using. My ex and HIS hag recently went to a musical festival with “fag” on his shirt and “hag” on hers, making an adorable pair.

    If they’re happy to be called it, more power to ’em (though naturally, some hags don’t like the term, much like some queers dont like the term “queer”)

  • Nick Thiwerspoon


    If a woman calls *herself* “fag hag” that’s fine. But it’s like “nigger” or “kaffir” or “kike” or “yid” or “wop” or “dago” or “wog”. For a Black bloke to call himself is “nigger” is OK. For me to call him one is most emphatically not. For a Jew to call himself a “yid” or a “kike” is his business; for me to do that would be unacceptable. “Wog” as a term of abuse for immigrants to Australia from eastern and south-eastern Europe has been taken over by the immigrants and their children so that it’s now not nearly as pejorative was it once was. All the same, I feel uncomfortable calling a Greek- or Italian-Australian a “wog”.

    I like the way we’ve reclaimed “queer” — good on us. I like the term, with its connotations of interesting difference and oddness.

    But the women who support me, the women writers who write sympathetically about gay and bisexual men, the sister I know who fights for her gay brother — these women dislike the term “fag hag”.

  • wangy wangy

    that guy in the photo couldn’t be any gayer if dicks were falling out of his mouth


    Some things never change. I have a picture of myself and my ex-wife from 1960. Looks exactly the same.

  • Cam

    @Nick Thiwerspoon: said…

    “f a woman calls *herself* “fag hag” that’s fine. But it’s like “nigger” or “kaffir” or “kike” or “yid” or “wop” or “dago” or “wog”.”

    So is your contention that there is a “Fag Hag” Gene?

  • Nick Thiwerspoon


    I have a little list, they’ll none of them be missed.

  • Jaroslaw

    I was trying to think of a clever acronym to substitute for Fag Hag, but I couldn’t come up with anything. Nick T – I think intent counts for something. As Sam said, he (and his FH) like the term and he means it in an endearing way. Much like Tracy Morgan’s recent comedic (?) remarks, we obsess about things which are far less important than things which have a much greater impact on our lives, such as Ken Mehlman.

    Most of the time I can understand both sides, and this is no exception. For myself, I don’t use the “N” word and would prefer if Black people didn’t either. To my way of thinking, something is either offensive or it isn’t. I would say the same for Fag Hag, I never liked that term either. But some argue differently, so this appears to remain unressolved.

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