“I Love My Gays” And Other Things Straight People Should Never Say

man woman gay girlOver on, lesbian member Chloe has had about enough of straight friends spouting certain things about the LGBT community. We’re not talking hate speech, but rather the well-intended but thoughtless things people who think they’re allies sometimes say.

Like us, Chloe doesn’t have time for straights who think dating is easier when it’s with the same gender (as if):

“Men are so awful/confusing/difficult, I wish I was a lesbian. It would be so much easier.?”

In what universe are women simpler than men? I’m not trying to go all ya-ya sisterhood; I’m just asking. Do you honestly believe men are more complex than women? Than you? Would you date you?

We thought this one died out when Sex and the City went off the air:

Using the possessive. (“I love my gays!”)

A member of the majority using the possessive about any member of a minority is always, ALWAYS a social faux pas. No matter how many sexy duct-tape-covering-mouth pictures you pose for, we are not owned or even indebted to you. It’s fabulous that you support gay rights, but not actively oppressing someone does not make you their owner; it makes you not a horrible person. Do you refer to African-American friends as “my blacks”? Yes? Please stop immediately.

There is such a thing as TMI for gays:

“Oh, you’re a lesbian? Well, one time I got wasted and let my lesbian neighbor go down on me.”?

Sometimes I feel like straight people mishear, “I’m gay,” as, “I’m kinky, promiscuous, and down hear every drippin’ detail of your odious fuckery.” Perhaps you should all see some type of hearing specialist.

And our favorite:

My gay friend _____.

You mean your friend?

It’s a humorous, though provocative piece. Read the full post on XOJane.

What straight-people habits drive you nuts? Or is there something LGBT folks do to straight people that gets your goat? Share in the comments section!