my reality tv

From The Queerty Archives: “I Played The Effeminate Gay on Adam Carolla’s Reality Show”


“Adam and Steve,” written by some guy named Brian Moylan [Ed: Moylan is  now an editor at Gawker], was published in the Nov. 5, 2005, issue.

In addition to charging me with “accentuating and exaggerating my mannerisms,” Moylan reamed me for being a “court jester,” “a stereotypical gay prop,” and a “gay class clown.”

Another article published that month from the same paper lumped me and Sean HayesWill & Grace character, Jack, together, as “effeminate gay stooges.” The self-hatred overwhelmed the senses like the ammonia emitted from a rotting fish. (I recently ate some bad sea bass.)

I had made appearances on Adam’s short-lived Comedy Central talk show, Too Late, and on Loveline. In his article, Moylan made reference to the Halloween episode of Too Late where I was followed with cameras to find Adam a Halloween costume. We did a remote feed from the costume store to Adam in the studio with his guest, Dr. Drew Pinsky from Loveline. Moylan claimed I “camped it up so Carolla and Pinsky could take eager potshots at just how gay [I] act.”

There’s nothing wrong with being effeminate, but Haber allows himself to fall into the trap of accentuating and exaggerating his mannerisms to get a cheap laugh from straight guys in a lame attempt to be accepted.

This is especially evident on “Project,” where Haber prances around construction sites trying to fit in with the rough and tumble crowd.

Haber needs to stop playing the gay class clown. And Carolla needs to take a lesson…and accept gay men as a part of his team, not as court jesters or stereotypical props.

In retrospect, it’s clear that Moylan’s venomous name-calling article had less to do with me, and everything to do with his own discomfort with male femininity. My truth embarrassed him. The article was a devastating commentary on the state of mainstream gay male identity.

In truth, the only potshot taken at me was by Dr. Drew, currently America’s leading celebrity rehab doc. Dr. Drew asked if I was going to be a fairy for Halloween. I responded, “Look who’s talking, Drew.” The audience roared with laughter.