Anxious actors, unknit those brows: Sir Ian McKellen has just floated into the room to urge all of you not to fret about coming out of the closet.
A segment in the new documentary McKellen: Playing the Part features the revered actor waxing philosophical on his own trials and travails as an openly gay actor, and the 78-year-old has some sage advice for anyone who might be worrying about how their sexuality might hinder their career.
“I think any gay person who does come out will tell you that that is the best thing that they have ever done in their life because they stop lying,” he says. “They tell the truth about themselves.”
“They become altogether a more attractive person, a more confident person. Everything in your life improves, including, in my case, my acting.
I was able to use my work to tell the truth about human nature rather than using it to disguise it. It is not easy to come out for some people. Everyone’s worried that they’ll lose their jobs. Actors think, oh I won’t get jobs anymore. None of it’s true. My career as a film actor took off very shortly after I was honest and came out. So that’s my message to other actors who are having a problem: don’t.”
He also reveals he’d much rather be remembered for his activism than his acting:
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“I do a lot of theatre, and theatre is just for now, it’s just for today. Tonight you know, it’s over, it’s finished, it’s not recorded.”
Now cinema is quite different, film is eternal as you are. But I do notice… that when you look at old films the actors may look young but their acting is rather old-fashioned. In other words, there are fashions in acting, and with very few exceptions ones work actually looks worse and worse as the years go by.
But I’m very proud of my small contributions to changing the law in this country and changing attitudes, all for the better, and I suppose in the scheme of things that is more important and the more merit and longer lasting than any acting that I have done. But that is more for other people to judge, isn’t it?”
PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID
“They become altogether a more attractive person, a more confident person. Everything in your life improves, including, in my case, my acting.“
Solipistic pollyannaish cloying drivel. Just because it worked for you doesn’t mean it will automatically magically work for every actor. It may well be the best option. But It could equally be argued some actors craft and Art in general has benefited from such neurosis and suffering. And besides, being “not out” professionally doesn’t preclude being a perfectly happy and well balanced individual choosing to be out to a select few. Stop being so prescriptive.
Creamsicle
You seem upset.
Donston
“Snarkness” and his clones defend the closet, vague homophobia (overt homophobia is unacceptable to him. Vague and casual homophobia is cool) and he hates on women. That’s his standard routine here. We all have them.
jpcolter
God, what a load of crap comment. Go away you know-nothing troll.
PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID
@Donston
>“Snarkness” and his clones
Really? Still on this embarrassingly basic shit? How you continually manage to disappoint my incredibly low expectations of you is, paradoxically, quite a remarkable achievement!
PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID
As to the particulars of the sundry and unutterably plebeian responses: infra dig
Donston
Well, if you and your clones weren’t so basic, obvious and predictable I wouldn’t have to be. But yes, it’s all been boring for quite a while now.
PRINCE OF SNARKNESS aka DIVKID
Oh c’mon we both know that’s not true; nobody puts you in your place like I do. Go look up the word “sui generis” (I even educate you) and give me a wave 🙂
OzJosh
Someone get this poor guy help before he implodes.
DCguy
So you’re defending the closet?
Coming out didn’t hurt Neil Patrick Harris, or Sarah Paulson, or Cheyanne Jackson, But no, please, keep telling us about how you understand the Hollywood system better than a guy whose been in it for 50 years.
Crystix
I don’t trust anyone in the closet. You can’t lie and pretend to be something else and manipulate people into believing you are a “certain type of person” and not have that effect your moral compass. How far will you go to make someone believe you are “straight.” Who are you willing to manipulate and take advantage of to keep your secret. Staying in the closet doesn’t just affect you. You have to convince others and have them lie for you.
All of it points to making you a bad person. Look at republicans in the closet. They try stripping millions of their rights to keep in the closet. Kevin spacey figured if he could keep up the lie, he could touch little boys and sexually harass his coworkers.
Are you in the closet to everyone around you? I don’t trust you. Go lie to someone else. =D
jpcolter
And I wouldn’t trust people who have such strong opinions about how other people choose to live their lives. Note: THEIR lives, not yours.
Crystix
Sorry that I don’t like liars. I also don’t like thieves and other deplorables. Guess that makes me a bad person. Hahahahahahaha
Donston
My thing when it comes to famous people struggling inside the closet has always been only bother coming out if you’re actually interested in loving and committing to someone within your orientation/majority orientation and make sure you’ve sorted through whatever issues you’ve been contending with. If you’re life is made up of random hook-ups and will continue to be that way or you still contend with plenty of internalized homophobia and obsession with hetero-normalcy or you’re just a crazy sexual megalomaniac then there’s no point of taking that risk if you feel hesitation. Ultimately, you end up not helping yourself or anyone else. Just resist the transparent public manipulation.
Bradsman
I think it’s ok for actors and singers no one wants to have sex with, to come out. But for a Ricky Martin or Matt Bomer, it isn’t a smart career move. At least they got famous first, then came out.
Donston
Bomer was married with kids. So, he couldn’t stay closeted. Martin’s career was dead and gone, and coming out was partially an attempt to revive it. Though Martin has been a pretty solid “example” for us. And there are still plenty of women (and hetero-worshiping gay and gay-leaning men) who still want to do them.
OzJosh
It hasn’t done Bomer’s career any harm. Before coming out he was often dismissed as just another pin-up boy. Coming out and being himself made him real and three-dimensional – and look at how he’s now playing a much wider range of roles, more challenging roles, and getting award attention. As for Ricky… who ever believed he was straight?!
Charlie in Charge
Admirable advice, we’re seeing more and more out actors find mainstream success.
gravityyaoi
Part of me thinks if more and more actors came out, Hollywood would be forced to accept it or lose out on some good talent.
It’s always irked me anyway when an actor would quit doing a big show and then come out like Haynes. It would do a lot more good and be more brave/inspirational during rather than after.
Donston
A lot of people blame homophobia and the entertainment “system” for many famous gay or gay-leaning people staying closeted. And while that has some truth there are other factors. A lot of people just take a very long time to get comfortable with themselves and to feel no gay-shame, especially in the public eye. However, for many gay-shame, internalized homophobia, obsession with maintaining hetero dynamics or hetero appeal are life-long struggles, even for people who are out. Then you have someone like Spacey who stayed in a super thin glass closet partially because he’s into teens and used the closet to continue to assault and harass but also because of self-hate and getting off on manipulation, feelings subversive and “keeping people guessing”.
Bopper1
…jeez…a life-affirming article about one of the most admirable artists and men alive, not to mention a gay man, and he’s reduced to crap by the foregoing group of sociopaths…I only hope straight people aren’t reading any of this…it will only confirm their every negative stereotype about bitchy, narcissistic, neurotic and self-hating gay men…nice job!…
StupidBoy
I sympathize with closeted men who were born in the 50’s or 60’s or 70’s. I was born in the 70’s and still struggle with it in today’s times. I understand Kevin Spacey’s need to keep closeted, but the success of Ian McKellen and Neil Patrick Harris should inspire any actor that they can have successful careers. Kevin Spacey clearly had other internal issues that caused him to target underage men. He has his own demons to deal with.
Donston
Yes, Spacey’s troubles extend way beyond the closet.
It’s not so much about getting success but the kind of success. An openly gay or gay-leaning actor (not simply bi or bi-curious or queer or I don’t believe in labels or fluid or I’ve experimented) is always gonna have a difficult time being seen as a romantic hetero lead, always gonna have a difficult time being a lead in action flicks, always gonna have a difficult time being seen as a “manly man” or even an “everyday bro”. Even if they can pull all those things off.
NPH’s mainstream success pretty much ended with ‘Mother’. He can get work. That’s about it. Ian was only widely known once he got up in age and had spent decades paying his dues. Even someone like Luke Evans, who seemed destined to be a “star” or at least destined to be given the opportunity to become a star, is limited to supporting roles in commercial movies.
Your potential as an out actor definitely still seem limited. Egos, persistent “advice” from your management and things like internalized homophobia can also get in the way. The more men are truly honest and direct and nonchalant but also show no shame the easier it’ll be. And there’s too much pressure on actors in general. That type of pressure is not felt by athletes and politicians.
okbye
That’s what I was thinking reading some of these comments. I don’t know how old everyone here is but it’s a lot better today than it was previously. I was born in 1964 and I have seen homosexuality go from unspoken to abhored to shunned to disliked to whatever it is today. In the past you would very likely be fired if it came out that you were gay, even if you had something solitary like an office job. Gay people were seen as bad; evil and untrustworthy and sick. No one wanted to work with a pervert. Families were even worse about disowning gay sons. There is still plenty of hate and discrimination but it’s way better than it used to be, and now there are laws to help. Being homosexual was illegal until not that long ago. People spent time in prison for admitting they were gay. Coming out was a pretty big deal, and it still feels that way to a lot of people.
As far as not coming out, it’s not always that simple. My mom has a friend whose son is closeted gay. He got married and had kids but would go to the local “gay park” and mess around when he could. He was arrested one night when he managed to expose himself to an undercover cop. He convinced his family that it was a mistake, he didn’t do anything and the charges were false. His family told him he was lucky because if he was gay he would never see any of the kids again and they would disown him. Some people do have a legitimate reason to stay in the closet.
petej
very wise. thank you. what he says becomes truer every day. add your voice to make it happen even faster.
pscheck2
I think the reason a lot of these ‘closet’ cases refuse to come out is that their persona would be compromised (i.e., that is if he is a leading man with a studly profile would destroy the fantasy world of his female following!). If you doubt it, go to these ‘gossip’ websites where the discussion is about a certain actor known for his reputation with the ladies, being the subject of gay rumors. I would venture to say over 90% of the females posting would come to his defense and demand these rumors are unfounded and malicious! ( a case in point: prominent NFL QB, while in college, was known to be more interested in guys than in gals [as posted by a sorority sister] and the rage that caused would think that ‘sister’ was an agent of Satan!) Just say’en.lol!