There are questions. If gay people are allowed to get married, why can’t you marry your cat? Why can’t you marry Jupiter? Your old Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom DVD? The pi formula? If gays can get married, what’s to stop alpacas from marrying llamas?
Fortunately, the questions Australian MP Dennis Jensen posed to Parliament on Monday were far more even-keeled than those we’ve listed above. No, Jensen merely wondered why he couldn’t marry his entire family.
“I love my siblings, I love my children, I love my parents,” he said. “But does that mean I should marry them…?”
Related: Rand Paul Thinks You Can Now Marry Animals
How about we take this to the next level?
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Using the same logic as that obnoxious kid in first grade — “If you love chocolate, why don’t you marry it?” — Jensen asked all the tough questions and pulled no punches: “Why not allow incestuous marriage if one or both parties agree to be sterilized? How about the love of, say, two sisters who have lived together for most of their lives? Should that be called marriage?”
Graciously, he made clear that he thinks same-sex couples should be able to formalize their relationship in some vague and abstract way… Just so long as it wasn’t, like, marriage.
Not surprisingly, his baiting questions earned Jensen a number of negative comments online, prompting him to tweet, “Amazing how many who preach tolerance are themselves unbelievably intolerant!”
Which begs the question: If gays can get married, what’s to stop Dennis Jensen from marrying someone who preaches tolerance but are themselves intolerant? Well, smartypants…?
h/t: Gay Star News
Eric Erickson
If your cat is over 18 and can sign his/her name, then you can marry your cat. You can’t marry close relatives because incest has been proven to increase the chances of genetic diseases in offspring.
Alexis Barros
Stephen Benoit Talbott
So, you want to marry your own child then?
Transiteer
This guy’s a real nut case. And yes, I’m being intolerant of an intolerant buffoon.
tricky ricky
it’s amazing that heterosexuals who want to marry their kids or pets blame it on the gays and not on the fact they’re perverts.
Jake Kunkel
When the dogs n cats n cows n kangaroos n whale request from you to pass a bill so they can legally marry you can use your less than logical argument…I see there is a long line of animal pairing outside your office just begging to be married…
tricky ricky
the two sisters argument was used in Michigan to disallow gay couples sharing insurance benefits.
Jimmy Lee
Well when the incest fans get organized, spend millions on PR, gets their message out at protests, marches and parades, and finally files a lawsuit and gets their day in court then they can do whatever they want… idiot!!
Michael Davy
Stupid is, as stupid does.
DistingueTraces
I really don’t see why being in a romantic or sexual relationship with someone should qualify you for special tax or insurance status — any more than being in only a heterosexual romantic or sexual relationship should.
So yes, I do think two sisters or three business partners or any household unit should have exactly the same right to register for joint taxation as two people who happen to be madly in love.
It’s nice that gay marriages as a cultural institution are being more widely celebrated, but from a legal point of view, I don’t see why romance and taxes affect each other at all.
Dakotahgeo
I refuse to believe how utterly stupid these jackalopes act and sound! Have they no morals, no shame… no brain??? Nope, I guess not!
GG
“If Gays Can Legally Marry, Why Can’t This Member Of Parliament Wed His Children?”
– My guess is because none of them will have you.
billywonka
That is called pedophilia – has nothing to do with homosexuality.
Just ask Denny Hastert or Josh Duggar.
Greg Haretos
Your child wants to marry you? I question your parenting, electability, and ability to govern.
Jim Guinnessey
No problem. He’s probably already had sex with them.
level75RDM
Take a crazy idea and run with it, yeah, why can’t he? If one of his children was an adult who consents to marriage, what’s wrong with two legal adults marrying for little more than the financial benefits? I’m sure heterosexuals who don’t love each other play the system all the time.
David Harlem
If you like pussy marry your damned cat. Who cares?
Sweetie Pie
He can marry mu fridge, and take it away with him….I´ll save the 50$ recycling fee
Rodney Church
Huh? Say what now?
Ward Dustin
Because not everyone’s a fucking idiot like you jackass!!
Hillers
Where are these mysteries contingents of sibling lovers and pet fuckers who are so beleaguered and denied their basic rights? It’s nutjobs like Jensen that seem to think they’re waiting in the wings to see what goes down with gay marriage, but it’s already been legalized in several states, and we’ve had domestic partnerships for even longer. If these people exist en masse like the psychochristian right believes, why haven’t they made their move?
Unless, of course, it’s just yet another false equivalency…
Mark Alan McRoberts
A child can not consent legally to join in marriage. Plus incest is not allowed.
Tab-Eric Varney
Do these ignorant, hate-filled idiots long to marry their own children, then? Does that really happen that a lot out in the world, or at all, that people want to marry their own offspring? Or, animals? Because, I’ve never seen that. E-V-E-R. Gays, on the other hand, have always been a part of society, and just want equality once and for all. Of course, these types of people don’t live in the same world the rest of us do, i.e. REALITY. Do they know how STUPID they sound, how empty of common sense?? It’s fucking pathetic.
DistingueTraces
Why would I have to fuck my sibling in order to get a tax break with my sibling?
It is weird to me that my tax status can depend on who I’m fucking to any degree.
My niece is the beneficiary of my 401K. Luckily, I did not have to swear that I was fucking my niece in order to set up that benefit. But if I wanted the benefit of joint taxation with her, suddenly the absence of a sexual relationship between us would present an obstacle.
Years ago, a close friend wanted to keep her business partner in the country after his business expired, and the best way to do this was to marry him. She had to go through a series of prying interviews in which she was quizzed about their private life together. It was Kafkaesque and creepy.
Why does the government even have the right to ask such personal questions?
Why do I have to swear that I’m fucking somebody in order to get the set of benefits that come with marriage? Why can I keep a lover in the country by marrying them, but not a platonic friend?
Robert Paige
Because thats incest and thats fuckin backwards and gross
Merv
Marriage is a way to legally establish a familial relationship with a non-blood relative. You’re already related by blood to your children, so there’s no reason to marry them. However, if you weren’t related by blood to the children, you would probably not marry them but adopt them, which is the other way besides marriage to legally establish a familial relationship. Adoption is more appropriate because the relationship with the children is presumably parental rather than romantic. I agree that there should be a way to legally establish a platonic familial relationship, for example between very close friends. Sometimes, those types of relationships are more long-lasting and significant than parental or romantic relationships.
Sam Theman
Pedophilia, perhaps?
Joseph Pasquino
Why keep giving these morons a platform to get the fame they seek
Scott Mellon
If his child is of age of consent and the happy couple agrees not to have children, I personally have no problem. I’d think he’s an asshole but I do already.
Heather Levick
He should catch himself on fire like those other preachers and pastors who are threatening to when Gay Marriage gets passed.
Jake Riley
Someone call Australian CPS
Chuck Stevenson
Only the stupid ask these sort of questions. Conservatives smelling defeat.
Valerie Anderson
Uh,because Marrying your kids is incest you sicko!
April Boucher
What a fucking jackass.
Mark Angstman
Because they’re your children, fool!
Brad Krueger
If the guy doesn’t know the answer, is he qualified for Parliament?
Ken Greenlee
It’s OK if he’s a Duggar.
Catherine Gordon
Um, ew.
Ladbrook
I do feel sorry for the kids of these bigots and assholes. Imagine having to grow up and live with the shame of knowing that people like this gave birth to you. What do you tell you’re own kids??? I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.
Sheldon Siegel
He only thinks about marrying his kids because he’s already having sex with them.
Christapher Gibson
Umm, because that is incest, which is illegal you idiot.
Axeman
Intolerant of being discriminated against? Right, because THAT’s how functioning humans think. What?
unclemike
Why would you need to marry someone you’re already related to?
Ian Simpson
If he feels the need to marry his child then he really needs to see a psychiatrist.
Robin Levine
Ignorance is a deadly disease
David Lapierre
Because he’s an idiotâ?¦ Why should we allow anyone to marry idiots!