Oh, how we wish we came up with that headline! But it doesn’t belong to us; it’s the creation of ChristWire, which hones in on South Carolina Lt. Gov. Andre Bauer, the just-outed anti-gay homo who wants to take over for cheat-y anti-gay Gov. Mark Sanford if (when?) he resigns.
And if ChristWire‘s headline isn’t good enough, watch as they tackle the issue of Bauer’s sexuality (and vehemently defend him), because it’s filled with homoerotic language. Well done!
Bauer not gay
That’s where flamboyant blogger with bulge of bias Mike Rogers toe taps in. He lubed his way into the national consciousness by bringing down idyllic Senator Larry Craig and wise-as-a-whip Representative Mark Foley. This week he has accused 40-year old Lt. Governor André Bauer of secret homosexual tendencies. But Bauer has an absolutely fabulous record defending the rights of families and Christianity. He has loudly opposed Homosexual Marriage, Homosexual Sodomy and Homosexual Adoption. He has profoundly defined marriage as between straights only. Not only that, but he has pushed for the words, “I BELIEVE” and the Christian Cross on South Carolina license plates, fought tax hikes and supported free-market capitalism at every turn.
So this all begs the question, does the accusation of one or two wrong-headed and furtive man-on-man encounters actually make you gay? Couldn’t it be a mistake? If you have a great record fighting against the gays, doesn’t it cross out a few moments humping a younger man against the wall of some hotel room? This debate is far from settled, but it is an important one for the conservative party today.
Of course “having sex with other men” doesn’t make you gay. As everyone knows, God does.
you mean to tell me as long as you fight really hard against something for many years you get a free pass to do it a few times free of charge?
man i cant wait to see who the rest of the conservative bigots use their pass on. maybe a lil George Bush on Obama action? big fan of interacial…
I am prrrrretty sure that site is a parody.
Other article titles:
“Ben and Jerry’s Wants Kids to Eat Semen Flavored Ice Cream”
“Soviets Create New Berenstain Bear Porn To Lure Children into Sin”
“MSI Computers Support the Gay Agenda With Laptop Butt Sex”
“A Secret Journey Into Satan”
That makes about as much sense as someone who fights against drugs, puts forth bills to increase the fight against drug use, but still be allowed to shoot up heroine every few years or so with no reprecussions.
Will all of you who have ever had sex with a man by mistake, please raise your hand?
@Distingué Traces: Hahahaha, it is. I think this is the third time I have seen either this site or Towleroad post about the satirical articles they post. If you go to the article and read the info on the author it reads “Stephenson Billings is an Investigative Journalist, Motivational Children’s Party Entertainer and Antique Soda Bottle Collector all in one special, blessed package!” Wonderful site… it’s amazing how satirizing the Christian Right is virtually impossible to do without being mistaken for a member of the Christian Right. It really says something about how out there they are.
Is Queerty stupid….or are they being satirical too?
Poe’s Law states:
It is impossible to create a parody of Fundamentalism that someone’ won’t mistake for the real thing.
Poe’s Law relates to fundamentalism, and the difficulty of identifying actual parodies thereof. It suggests in general, that it is very difficult to differentiate fake/parody fundamentalism from the real thing, since they may both espouse equally extreme beliefs. It works both ways. For example, some conservatives consider noted baptist evangelical Fred Phelps to be so over-the-top that they think he’s a “deep cover liberal” trying to discredit more mainstream Christians.
I think he’s bisexual, but one who publicly despises his same-sex side.
Being gay or str8 is all about what you are attracted to – same or opposite sex.
So when these religious creeps- that is what they are – condemn gays, while engaging in gay play, they are the height of hypocrisy.
Psychologists call it “projections” – when you hate yourself for what you are and what you (want to) do, you throw out your self hates on others, in a desperate attempt to hide who you are.
You can bet that the great majority of the religious haters in this country and elsewhere are secretly gay. And don’t have the guts to admit they are gay. Simple as that proved time and time again.
The real battle over gay marriage, and equal legal rights for gays is not about gay people. It is about ultimately outing the rabid leaders of the anti-gay movement.
And when the outing comes, as surely it must, suddenly people will discover that 10% of the population is gay. Including a significant percentage of all those str8s who divorce.
And why do they divorce – the surface reason is usually they were running around. But much of the time, they were desperately looking for satisfaction with another opposite sex partner. And not finding it, so the problem gets worse and worse. Prob 20% of divorces are due to this cause.
And the worst of the republican hatemongers, eg like Gingrich, and Limbaugh – well Gingrich is on his third wife. And Limbaugh is looking for his 4th.
Whether that wife happens to be male or female, well, the truth ultimately comes out.
Amd the party of religious hatred, the republican party will be exposed. And sent to the political hell they deserve, by God Almighty.
Now, here’s the thing:
The beloved “traditional Judaeo-Christian family values” are not traditional; nor are they Jewish; nor are they Christian.
Above links are not working. Use
That article was hilarious! The entire site is very well-crafted satire. The article on the man who slapped the kid in Wal-Mart was written by a man who claims to be bringing morality back, one kneecap at a time. LOL!!! I’ve bookmarked that site for a few laughs tomorrow.
Holy shit. That was written by a Christ based media org? Oh Lord! Humping a young man against the wall of some hotel room? Their side wrote that. I’m floored.
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