Blogger Dalton Heinrich channels his inner Carrie Bradshaw in a new post published on gayguys.com.
“Why is it a social norm of ours to be in our late forties and going clubbing and bar hopping multiple times a week?” he writes. “Of the hundreds of grown men I know, why are so few of them actually grown up?”
Heinrich writes that “as a young gay man whom does not have a single parental figure to aspire to be” all he wants is a role model, someone to look up to and show him the way.
“Why are there so few gay men in my life that look at the next generation as someone to mentor and coach rather than a new addition to their dating pool?” he wonders.
Heinrich has a theory: That gay men suffer from what he calls “Peter Pan Syndrome.”
“[A]ll gay men are terrified to grow up,” he hypothesises. “The abundance of thirty and forty something’s that attend nightclubs persistently and dress like they are going to a college frat party is astounding.”
“This portion of grown men clinging to the wild nights and serial dating of their twenties seem to live in a secret Neverland,” he adds. “These Lost Boys that are terrified of actually looking their age and are always fighting off time instead of aging gracefully and being something helpful for the young gay man to idolize?”
He concludes: “The sad, thirsty man haunting the shadows of 18 and up clubs is slowly killing our culture. When my generation of gays gets older are we going to think that is the normal thing to do with our nights?”
“It is time to tell Peter Pan that you want to go home and as much as it may not be the funniest [sic] thing to do, it is time to grow up,” he says.
Despite the post receiving over 7,500 “likes” on Facebook, not everyone agrees with or appreciates Heinrich’s thoughts. In fact, most commenters are upset by the post.
“‘Settling down’ and having kids does not define maturity. There is no reason to live our gay lives based on the way straight people do,” one person wrote.
“[T]here is a population of older men (40+) who grew up during a period where homosexuality wasn’t as widely accepted when they were in their 20’s,” another person added. “[T]hey hid their sexuality, so they feel that they are making up for those ‘lost years.’ ”
“When I saw the title I thought it was going to be a reassuring article about how it’s okay to get older as a gay man. This article instead made me feel like I should be ashamed to go out just because I’m in my 40s,” another person commented.
“Want older gay role-models?” someone else said. “Try looking outside your own shallow existence of judgement and cliches!”
We think Madonna, who turns 56 tomorrow, said it best back in the early ’90s, when she told an interviewer…