If You’re Under 17, Go Away

The internet’s a dangerous place. Not only are there sexual predators, neo-nazis, scientologists and other assorted baddies, but you have to worry about sicko fuckwad shithead faggots like us.

As you can see, Blog Rater gave us and our potty mouth an NC-17 rating. Apparently they object to our use of the words “gay,” the same word in the plural form “lesbian” and “zombie”, which we blame on that shitting kid.
We’re a little disappointed, actually – we were hoping for an XXX. Do we have to slaughter and eat a straight person, or something?

Meanwhile Blog Rater slapped our source, AfterElton, with an NC-17 rating. Surprisingly, ex-gay homophobes Exodus International received a G: all ages admitted. Ain’t that sweet?

Get Queerty Daily

Subscribe to Queerty for a daily dose of #afterelton #humor #internet stories and more


  • hisurfer

    Lesbian Zombies always get the short end of the stick. Most of the gay community wished they would just go away – I applaud Queerty for finally acknowledging this midunderstood group.

  • kartinka

    yep, and godhatesfags just got a pg rating. because, you know, talking about *gasp* gays and *gasp* zombies is wayyyyy worse than talking about sex and death.

  • mada

    God hates zombies after all….

    Meanwhile, let’s find out how this works on ohhh… http://www.peachesrocks.com … hmm… a rating of “G”. I’m glad that all the little ones can revel in Peaches’ awesomeness.

  • RSL

    Oh man, I got rated G too. And I say fuck like it’s candy. I don’t actually say “fuck like it’s candy” though.

  • Mr. B

    Haha, I love Peaches.

    RSL…perhaps you should start saying “Fuck like it’s candy.” It’s a very meaningful phrase that rolls off the tongue quite salaciously.

    I’m off to make the bumper stickers.

  • Rowen

    Ah, another example of why our current MPAA rating system dosen’t work. For example, I used to work at a small movie theater, and we showed the Winslow Boy, a movie about upper class English people during the turn of the century. No drugs, no violence, no sex, no swearing. Just stiff upper lips. It got something like a G rating or a PG rating, and parents would randomly take their kids to see it, while we’re all, “Um, you’re child is going to be bored, and then throw popcorn on the seat, which we will have to clean up. Go away”

  • underbear1

    I made several comments on this rating system at Pam’s House Blend
    “ain’t this a kick in the head
    Aryan Nation site ranks lower than Pam’s House Blend
    RATED = G…no bad words
    Fred Phelp’s godehatesfags site
    RATED = PG…death (4x) sex (1x)
    The motherf*ckin KLAN
    RATED = G….no bad words
    RATED = G…no bad words

    here’s the owner of Mingle2 and his email
    here’s the owner of Mingle2 and his email
    here’s his picture

    What were the odds this system was set up by a white STRAIGHT guy?

  • underbear1

    I made several posts on this subject at Pam’s House Blend
    the Klan, Aryan Nation, several ex-gay ministries, and even sites with very raunchy full frontal male nudity get no more than NC-17 most simply PG or G ratings.

Comments are closed.