If You’ve Ever Paid For A Prostitute, You’ll Probably Commit A Felony At Some Point

The non-profit group Prostitution Research and Education interviewed 202 Boston men and found that “men who paid for sex were more likely to report having committed felonies and misdemeanors, including crimes related to violence against women and those related to substance abuse, assault and weapons.” Of course, their study focused primarily on men who pay female prostitutes, but this isn’t the first time someone has linked prostitution to dehumanizing behavior, but it does raise an interesting question: how much of this research’s findings stem from sexism and would the same findings also apply to men and women who objectify others of the same sex by paying for a shag.

Maybe Queerty readers who have paid for sex can chime in…

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  • BigStella

    I have been with a few escorts in my day and I see nothing wrong with it. We all pay for sex in one way or another.

    I have never committed any felonies or violence against women.

    I think surveys like that are nuts.

  • Mr. Enemabag Jones

    I can’t imagine paying for something you can get for free, if you just lower your standards.

  • Henry

    @BigStella: “My anecdotal evidence is better than statistical science.”

    As for prostitution… I’d rather not pay to get an STD.

  • inoits2

    Sorry, but people that hire prostitutes are lowlifes that are taking part in an illegal activity. This means since they are breaking the law they are more likely to break other laws. Sounds like a reasonable conclusion to me.

  • Anonymous

    I’ve considered paying for an escort, just to see what it’s like to have sex with someone really hot, but I’m too chicken shit. Almost as chicken shit as I am to walk up to someone I’m interested in.

  • scott ny'er

    @inoits2: what about in places where prostitution is legal?

  • Charles Rosenheimer

    The study makes sense because a lot of criminals are psychopathic, and psychopaths are fearless, so they’re more willing to engage in risky sex and criminal behavior.

  • Ogre Magi

    Sounds like BS to me

  • inoits2

    @scott ny’er:Doesn’t matter, prostitution is related to drugs, disease and sometime robbery or murder. If you hire a prostitute you are contributing and participating in that.

  • Wendy

    My husband is a very kind man. When he’s not holding me down by the throat, he’s seeing a prostitute. As a very open minded woman, I believe in letting my husband have free reign. He’s only 32 years old, so he still has a need to sow his wild oats.

  • Henry

    @Anonymous: You remind me of the white people who encourage whiskey-drinking in the black community.

  • Anonymous

    @Henry: Could you elaborate?

  • JayKay

    Everyone pays for prostitutes.

    The difference is that the professionals simply take your money, give you what you want, and get on with their business. The rest just take your money slowly over the course of a relationship, occasionally giving you what you want in return, if they’re in the mood.

  • QJ201

    @Henry: Unless you are planning on barebacking with a cracked out prostitute, chances are paying a pro escort is probably extremely safe.

  • Brandon H

    Bullshit biased self-serving study. Did they take into the account that they were reviewing ILLEGAL BLACKMARKET prostitution?? Hmmm, that fact alone couldn’t be a reason it might attract people with psychopathology, nooooo.


  • Mr. Enemabag Jones


    Almost as chicken shit as I am to walk up to someone I’m interested in.

    Been there, done that, gone home alone. Eventually you’re going to have to man up, approach someone who interests you and introduce yourself.

    To make things easier for yourself do what I did when I was single:

    When I walked into a bar, or club, the first guy who caught my interest was GOLD. I’d approach, and if it didn’t work out I’d scan the room. The next guy who was interesting was SLIVER. If things didn’t work out, I’d scan the room and the third man who piqued my fancy was BRONZE. If things didn’t work out, I’d stop and just enjoy my evening with my friends.

    Sometimes I went home alone, which is less embarrassing than you think. But most times I’d either go home with GOLD, or SILVER. But whatever happened, I didn’t beat myself up for not scoring.

  • Akula

    Sorry but I call bullshit also. I have 3 friends that all have escorted, one paid for his PHD that way another earned his degree and went on to join the military and get a top secret security clearance and the third still does it and is in a steady relationship. None of them are drug users or low lifes, not everyone who escorts is a $20 crack whore standing on a street courner. In lots of countries in S. America and Europe its a respectable way to pay for college, so once again sweeping generalizations don’t work.

  • inoits2

    @Akula: I call bullshit. I don’t believe for one minute they went on to do anything. I am not even sure you have three friends that were hookers. You must hang around with some sleazy folks. Respectable!? I guess work study, financial aid or a good honest job aren’t fashionable anymore. Since when does hooking make you respectable when you clearly don’t respect yourself.

  • Unicef

    Stop using term “escort”. My family neighbour escorted me once to tennis practice, I escorted my niece to a job interview.

    Prostitutes comes from various backgrounds and geographical locations like:

    Nauri D, in the Philippines
    Zeb A, in the US
    Antonio M, in Italy
    Lenka F, in the Czech republic
    Rafael A, in the US
    Karina S, in Romania
    Maria A, in Brazil

    Some make porn, some don’t.

    Meanwhile outside the gay culture bubble, no one hardly uses the term rentboy or escort.

    A whore is whore and across the world they are called prostitutes, hooker, puto1s, shermota etc.

  • Scott

    At least prostitutes are employed. 3 Cheers for the prostitutes that pay their taxes! At least their contributing to society.

  • xander

    I had sex with a male prostitute in a place where it was/is legal & regulated(in Europe); it was a birthday present of sorts. Inexperience, to put it mildly, at that time, I learned a LOT in my 45 minutes with a pro. No regrets, and no need yet to use another, but who know what my future might bring?

  • Stud NY.

    SEX! Unless your desperate or dying, disabled. Why pay for something that’s free & available everywhere.

    Take care of yourself, develop a nice personality and start shagging.

  • B

    No. 3 · Henry wrote, “As for prostitution… I’d rather not pay to get an STD.”

    Reasonable choice, but I doubt any prostitute would refuse to do “business” with you if you insisted on using a condom.

    Did read an article once where someone had interviewed a male prostitute who said he’d insist on the use of a condom when giving a client a blow job, adding that there were enough desperate guys that he could afford to turn away those who didn’t agree to his “terms of service”.

  • Akula

    inoits2 said @Akula:” I call bullshit. I don’t believe for one minute they went on to do anything. I am not even sure you have three friends that were hookers. You must hang around with some sleazy folks. Respectable!? I guess work study, financial aid or a good honest job aren’t fashionable anymore. Since when does hooking make you respectable when you clearly don’t respect yourself.”
    My what a fucking know it all I guess you must be the all seeing eye of morality. believe what you like I believe your an idiot who just says things to get a rise out of people. I also believe you’ve probably never been out of the country because if you had you’d see that this is pretty much the only uptight country other then Islamic ones that get all high and mighty on prostitution. You’d be laughed at as a fool in most any other country in the western world. Your comical “ick” reaction makes me laugh and feel nothing but pity for a moron like you. By the way how is it living in your parents basement as a 40 year old?

  • Gay Veteran

    I’ve payed for an escort and I’m not some middle aged(not that there’s anything wrong with being middle aged) lowlife who can’t have sex any other way. I did it, I enjoyed it, and I would do it again. Sex is just sex. I don’t think I’m any more or less likely to commit a felony crime.

  • inoits2

    @Akula: Yes i am the seeing eye of morality as a matter of fact. I have been to other countries and no thank you. US is the best. I don’t care if people laugh at me for saying that prostitution is for losers. Those that buy and those that sell are losers. The fact you think its okay makes you a loser too. Keep hookers away from me. I had one living across the street from me and it wasn’t pretty. She brought bad people and drugs onto my street, she had no teeth and looked like a skeleton. There is nothing good about prostitution.

  • B

    No. 27 · inoits2, “@Akula: Yes i am the seeing eye of morality as a matter of fact. I have been to other countries and no thank you. US is the best. I don’t care if people laugh at me for saying that prostitution is for losers. Those that buy and those that sell are losers. The fact you think its okay makes you a loser too. Keep hookers away from me. I had one living across the street from me and it wasn’t pretty. She brought bad people and drugs onto my street, she had no teeth and looked like a skeleton. There is nothing good about prostitution.”

    But then there is Amsterdam’s red-light district with the prostitutes in tiny street-level boutiques and a red light to indicate if occupied or not. It looks scandalous to visitors, which is probably why there are far more tourists snapping pictures than customers being “serviced”, but there is a plus as well – the prostitution is confined to a specific geographic area, which means that families with young children don’t have to worry about a prostitute setting up shop in their neighborhood. I.e., instead of legislating morality, they use zoning laws to keep undesirable behavior from getting out of hand.

    The Dutch have this idea that you can’t legislate morality and that people will sometimes “go crazy” for a while. Basically, they allow some steam to escape from the pot rather than clamping it shut until it explodes, It won’t satisfy an uptight Christian into preaching against sin, but it works reasonably well in practice, giving the Netherlands (for example) a lower drug addiction rate than more uptight neighbors. It’s a reasonable approach – rather than trying to stamp out “sin” totally, you can evaluate approaches based on how well those approaches work in the real world.

  • Cole

    Are people that pay for sex more likely to commit a crime, or are people that are more likely to commit crimes the ones who are willing to pay for sex (when it’s illegal)?

  • Ganondorf

    I gots me some advice for the lowlifes who use or are thinking of using pros. When you can’t see ’em, make sure they’re clapping them hands together. Clapping hands=no stealing. As to the guy who can’t approach the lame tricks he wants to mack on, try rohypnol or blackmail. Yeah they’re illegal, but so’s whoring with whores. ( Unfortunately I’m drawing a moral equivalence between prostitution and rape for comedic effect. If you have a problem with that, please refer your grievance to the nearest pillow, and vent your anguish therein). Quite the hobson’s!

    And whoring ought be legal. We live in a country where it’s illegal to be a whore UNLESS a camera is involved in the act. Ridonkulous hypocrisy that punishes the most downtrodden, exploited and vulnerable amongst us (just like the phoney bolony the war on the drugs), while needlessly bloating the crime rate. But that’s what americans like to do. We exist in the social arrangement most americans desire to live in. Of course johns are scum for the most part. And so are whores and pimps. Ick. I need some mind bleach.

  • Stud NY.

    @Gay Veteran: A prostitute sells his ass for money and in many situations have sex (viagra boner) with people they privately wouldn’t like.

    For whatever reason, fact is you still have to pay someone to sleep with you.

  • Daez

    @inoits2: @inoits2: So, you are basing your entire attitude on knowing about one crack whore. MMKAY! I guess its alright, in your opinion, to base one’s sole attitude of gay people on one bad experience as well. As far as being illegal, sodomy was illegal until the 1990s. Most gays that lived before that time knowingly broke the law almost daily. As far as those other countries being worse than the USA because of morality… Those other countries are the ones allowing gays to get married and not trying to break down bedroom doors because you happen to join the military. You really need to get over this holier than though bullshit because it makes you sound very closed minded.

  • Akula

    inoits2: WOW you sound very Evangelical Christian maybe you should go join NOM or Focus on the Family you’d probably have alot in common, being so narrow minded you must have to walk sideways alot to get around.

  • inoits2

    @Akula: Jesus christ people….it’s not about being open minded. There NOTHING good about prostitution. Being gay has nothing to do with it. It comes with drugs, disease, robbery, ruined neighborhoods and it’s illegal.

    Quit supporting something that is clearly not a healthy thing for anyone. Gay people are gay…period…we know this and know its not a choice except in Bi peeps…no comparisons to prostitution. Hooking is a business just like cleaning houses.

  • inoits2

    @Akula: Supporting prostitution weakens our argument that we choose to be gay and have no limits in our degeneracy. Everything is not okay just because you are queer. Prostitution is a choice and furthermore there is such a thing as a gay lifestyle that isn’t pretty either. Being homosexual is your orientation being a sleazy whore is sexual behavior and I can and do judge it.

  • inoits2

    @inoits2: *Supporting prostitution weakens our argument that we DO NOT choose to be gay and that we have no limits in our degeneracy.

  • Daez

    @inoits2: Jesus christ people….it’s not about being open minded. There NOTHING good about prostitution. Being gay has nothing to do with it. It comes with drugs, disease, robbery, ruined neighborhoods BECAUSE it’s illegal.

    There…I fixed your little quote for you. The problem is that in 49 states in this country something that shouldn’t be illegal is. Its that illegality that creates the problem. Prostitution isn’t to blame for a bunch of people thinking its immoral. No one has the right to judge morality, and laws most definitely should not be based on that morality.

  • Daez

    @inoits2: Bull shit. For starters, we don’t need to make that argument. We have every right to live OUR LIVES without ANYONE (including you) judging us. I feel that I have EVERY RIGHT to judge you for being a closed minded, ignorant prick, but I won’t do that because I don’t feel I really should judge anyone.

  • Casey Anthony's hunter

    @inoits2: Good job diving right into Nazi-speak about degeneracy you fucking scum.

  • Ruhlmann

    Prostitution is just convenience for the customer. For the whore it can be many other things and not all of them good. I figured that out at 15 when I left home. I grew up in a very small town way the hell up north. If there was another gay man around I would have never found him. I moved to Toronto and became a whore. The money was good but it was the men that I wanted, lots of them. For a short time I lived with a man who was the president of a large corporation that I was in love with. I was 17 and he was 42 and the fucker broke my heart. As much of a whore as I was I am a faithful lover, he wasn’t. Some guys just like street sex. I was back whoring at 19, wisened but not bitter. I approached a man in a car one night and asked for a light. I asked him what he was doing there and he said “waiting for a friend” I asked “are you waiting for a friend in particular or will I do”? He asked me to get in and we went to his place. He was a psychiatrist and I lived with him for ten years. Diabetes killed him,I still miss him. He encouraged me to get my high school equivalency and put me through four years of college.

    I was never desperate, I was just really sexually motivated and wanted to meet men, lots of them. I didn’t drink or drug except for the occasional joint. There were many men I wouldn’t see twice but there were many that I genuinely enjoyed being with and this was mutual in many instinces. I learned a lot from some men and today am still in contact with two men I saw regularly.

    Sex isn’t nearly as important to me today thankfully. However it was the main reason I did what I did. I saw a lot of the world. I travelled to Europe and the South Seas. I met some great men who taught me much. I don’t regret a moment of it and can say that without this experience I would not have been able to get beyond the solely sexual side of me without certain men teaching me that the intimacy was the best part of sex.

  • inoits2

    @Daez:Everything is not okay….being gay does not effect public good. The career of prostitution certainly does. If it was legal that would be a good thing because then the state would control where it is and std testing. BUT it is illegal so it is a problem. It isn’t about some xstian moral judgement, it’s about how it effects people that have to live near them. I do and I will judge what’s wrong. I am not a lock step liberal gay that thinks everyone has a right to do anything just because they are breathing.

  • inoits2

    @Ruhlmann: Thanks for your story. Sounds like you weren’t in it for a career and that it was an exploration of your freedom to love many men. I have no problem with that. You weren’t a career pro. and you got your shit together.

  • Henry

    @inoits2: You should watch your back. Everything is recorded online, and there are some violent people who don’t take kindly to calling gay people or other minorities degenerate.

  • inoits2

    @Henry: You shouldn’t threaten people, come get me. I have recorded your threat and if anything happens they will come for you first.

  • Casey Anthony's hunter

    @inoits2: You have a strong death drive don’t you?

  • inoits2

    You talk big behind the net…I have a right to say what I want, I am gay and I see a lot of shallow awful gays out there that unfortunately prove the xstain right is right. I don’t care if you don’t like the truth. I have recorded your comment too.

  • Casey Anthony's hunter

    @inoits2: You’re the one who talks big. Would you call any minority a degenerate to his face? I doubt anyone would shed tears over the death of a Nazi prick. Would the police even look into it? Maybe if you live in the Deep South.

  • inoits2

    @Casey Anthony’s hunter: de·gen·er·a·cy 3. Corrupt, vulgar, vicious behavior, especially sexual perversion.

  • Casey Anthony's hunter

    @inoits2: Na-zi 1. a person whose death causes onlookers to say “Nothing of value was lost.”

  • inoits2

    Man oh man…just because I said prostitution was not a good thing and I dare to criticize certain gay lifestyles I am a Nazi and get death threat. You have basically stopped the conversation because you don’t agree.

  • Generalized hunter

    @inoits2: Are you Charles Anthony Rozier? Why don’t you use your real name?

  • JohnJohn

    OK, I can see you guys need some lessons in Prostitution-101.

    First, to be clear, I’m only talking about guys. Female prostitution seems to be a very different and dangerous animal for the women involved.

    Back to guys. Prostitutes can be awesome, paying for sex has some terrific benefits, and the whole transaction falls under the umbrella of consenting adults doing what they want to do with each other.

    For my part, I’m in a great open marriage (15+ years) but travel constantly for work. When I’m spending a week in, say, Chicago, I can schedule an appointment for some hot guy to come to my hotel at a certain time, for a pre-arranged amount of time, and we both have an accurate idea of what is going to happen once the clothes come off.

    No trolling Manhunt or Craigslist, no bars, no big surprises, no emotional attachments, just a romp in the sheets. Then a farewell hug or kiss, and they’re out the door having made some great $ while I jump back into bed, relaxed and released, for a good night’s sleep. No fuss, no muss.

    And, if you happen to be fairly good looking, well-groomed, and show the guys real respect, they tend to be super-friendly and a ton of fun. More often than not – if they aren’t headed to another appt – a call guy will hang around, have a drink, and chat a bit before heading out.

    Give it a chance, and you’ll often learn many of the dudes are artists, actors, models, musicians or just nice guys who prefer making $200hr doing something they enjoy rather than $20hr working in a cubicle at a job they would not enjoy.

    And, on occasion, the tables can be turned on you. One guy asked me to join him (for pay!) on a call to a guy who wanted a 3-way. We did it a few times, and I’m glad I did it (it’s hard work!) but honestly, I wasn’t a great prostitute.

    It is good to have some rules of the road:

    – Be smart in avoiding legal entanglements: do your homework (Google, dudes) to find out how things work in the state where you’re living or visiting. Most pros can come to an agreement without saying/doing anything that could later be used against you or them. I learned from one guy that he goes for a deep wet kiss and mutual-hands-down-pants groping at the front door, because cops won’t get physical like that.

    – No guys under 30. This helps avoid kids/guys who are selling sex because they have no other alternatives. If you do meet a sad case, young or old, be human and remember how lucky you are. Decline the sex and pay them the $ for showing up.

    – For safety, let someone know what you’re up to. I usually let my husband know (of course, that also means I’m then expected to provide details after the fact!)

    – Trust your gut. If someone shows up and you get a bad vibe, just tell them you changed your mind, pay them, and send them on their way. $200-400 is a small price to pay to avoid a bad scene, a mugging, and/or a bashing.

    – Lock valuables up in hotel safe, if possible. If not, then put into locked or closed luggage. If I don’t know a guy, I don’t leave him alone with my stuff or my shaving kit (prescription drugs, “herbal” remedies.) If this is at your home, keep ’em close.

    – Sorry, but no porn stars. Generally, but not always, porn stars are just not as fun. They’re used to being ogled, chased, and worshipped. You’re the guy who’s paying, you should be the star of the show.

    – Regulars. When you and the guy get along and have fun in bed, repeat performances can be spectacular. They learn how to push your buttons, and you learn what gets them engaged/excited. I always ask the generic question, “do you like repeat clients or do you prefer one-timers?” This gives the guy a graceful way of out if he’s not into you as a client.

    – Don’t be an effing cheapskate. A great non-sexual massage can easily run a $100, so getting naked and wet ought to go for a significant premium. And tips! Just as you would tip the wait-staff at a great restaurant for great service, give a great tip to the guy who just rocked your world.

    As to comments about the johns and prostitutes being lowlifes, breaking the law, exploiting people, etc.? I find those attitudes naive and provincial. There are bad johns, bad hustlers, bad cops, bad judges, bad politicians, bad preachers, and bad meter maids, to name a few. Exploitive lowlifes exist in every form, in every profession, and are simply a part of our world.

    The “it’s illegal” argument holds no sway. Gay sex was illegal – the laws were on the books even if they were not enforced – in the majority of the US until Lawrence v. Texas, 2003, but I’ve been rolling around naked with guys since the 80’s. I was also known to drive 60 in 55mph zones on flat straight middle-of-nowhere freeways. Sometimes the law is stupid and deserves no respect.

    Good luck, boys!

  • inoits2

    @JohnJohn: Very interesting stuff….I think you would be very successful if you turned this into a book, although I don’t believe in open marriages or prostitution this guide is smart and could help people stay out of trouble.

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