What a girl wants depends on the girl, and what Wendy Williams really really wants is as obvious as the Trump administration’s anti-LGBTQ agenda: She wants traditional gender roles. She wants to wear men’s shirts, short skirts, to color her hair, do what she dares. She wants a man who makes her feel like a woman.
But then, who needs men at all on Galentine’s Day? During the February 13 episode of her eponymous daytime talk show, Wendy explained the Parks and Recreations twist on Valentine’s Day – ”It’s women going out, getting saucy, and going back home” – before swerving right and going totally tone deaf.
After admonishing the men in her audience for applauding Galentine’s Day, she went all in. “You’re not a part,” she said. “I don’t care if you’re gay. You don’t get a mensie every 28 days, alright.”
Fair enough. But she didn’t stop there.
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“You can do a lot that we do,” she continued. “But I get offended by the idea that we go through something you will never go through. And stop wearing our skirts and our heels. Just sayin’, girls. What do we have for ourselves? … Look here now, gay men, you’ll never be the woman that we are. No matter how gay.”
Related: Wendy Williams pisses off gay fans with latest hot take
So that’s what she thinks of us? Wendy must hate drag fashion, Pose, and Billy Porter’s red-carpet looks over the last year. There also appears to be some pent-up resentment for gay men. She thinks we’re culturally appropriating womanhood and we want to crash Galentine’s Day – as if there’s a gay man alive who would choose a gaggle of gals over a sexy stud on Valentine’s Day. Come on, Wendy.
Naturally, social media lit up with folks who lost their minds, prompting Wendy to backtrack.
“I’ll start by saying, ‘I apologize,'” she said in a video she shared on social media the next day. “I did not mean to offend my LGBTQ plus community on yesterday’s show. I did not realize until I got home and I watched the second running of our show. … One thing that I can tell you right now is that I never do the show in a place of malice. I understand my platform with the community. … I didn’t mean to hurt anybody’s feelings. I’m just having a conversation.”
She continued: “I’m 55 years old, and maybe I sounded like your auntie, your mother, your big sister, or somebody out of touch. I’m not out of touch, except for, perhaps, yesterday, by saying what I said. So, I deeply apologize, and I deeply appreciate the support that I get from the community. I will do better. I appreciate you supporting me. Thank you.”
A message from Wendy. pic.twitter.com/aEpMvubJVJ
— Wendy Williams (@WendyWilliams) February 14, 2020
Related: WATCH: Wendy Williams fights back tears apologizing to LGBTQ viewers
Apology accepted, but as Maya Angelou once said, when people show you who they are, believe them the first time. And this isn’t the first time Williams has shown us who she is while inserting her foot squarely into her big mouth. Last month, she apologized for mocking cleft palates while talking about the scar above soon-to-be Oscar winner Joaquin Phoenix’s upper lip. Why did it take social media outrage to show her the error of her uncensored ways?
Why did did she have to go home and watch her February 13 show to realize what she said on it about gay men was garbage? Being sorry doesn’t necessarily mean she wasn’t speaking her truth. If she has any gay friends (and I’m not convinced she does), she’s probably the kind of Grace who barks “He’s straight!” whenever one of them encroaches on her turf by complimenting a heterosexual man’s looks.
As with someone who lets the N-word slip and then immediately apologizes, contrition doesn’t equal “That’s not how I actually feel.” If her words did indeed reflect what’s still in her head, Wendy is pathetically mistaken. First off, to be gay is not to want to be a woman. We don’t all wear skirts and heels, and we certainly do not all sit around wondering why girls have all the fun.
Furthermore, there are plenty of presumably straight men who dress up in women’s clothing, including Harry Styles, the rapper Offset, and, in a recently leaked photo shoot, Snoop Dogg’s 22-year-old son Cordell Broadus. By denouncing cross-dressing and then equating it with gay men, Wendy damned two groups with one rant: men who like to look pretty, regardless of their sexual orientation, and those who fit the more stereotypical notion of gay men.
Her comments also were shockingly transphobic. Does she really think getting to wear uncomfortable articles of clothing is the reward women get for enduring menstrual cycles? What about trans women who don’t have periods? Should they be doomed to wear flats and pant suits only? Does Wendy not realize that womanhood isn’t defined by attire?
Apology aside, this is not the first time Williams has expressed such narrow views on gender. She’s always openly valued men’s men over all other types. Last November after People magazine anointed John Legend the new Sexiest Man Alive, Wendy said, “When I think about a sexy man, I’m not thinking about John Legend, only because the first thing I think of is, I weigh so much more than him. If we were walking down the street and someone wanted to spray me with a water gun, I need a man who’s going to punch someone in the face.”
It was almost a tacit endorsement of the type of man who made #MeToo necessary. Although social media didn’t call her out, she showed her true colors: “Real” men are big, macho, and quick to fisticuffs. Now, by making her distaste for men in skirts and heels all about gay men, she’s shown her secret disdain for a significant portion of her fan base.
Gay men and the trans community already have enough to deal with as conservative political leaders attempt to strip away our rights. The last thing we need is someone with Wendy’s influence perpetuating the outdated stereotypes that homophobes wield against us.
After this latest Wendy Williams fiasco, doing better isn’t enough. She needs to start thinking better, too.
Jeremy Helligar is a New York City-based journalist from the U.S. Virgin Islands and the author of the travelogue/memoir Is It True What They Say About Black Men?
jayceecook
You forgot to mention that she followed up the cross dressing blunder by mocking the death of Drew Carey’s ex-fiance’s murder.
Will whatever planet this E.T. looking, crusty hag came from please come back and beam her azz home?
Cam
Not really in her defense, but as an explanation. She apparently is in the middle of a nasty divorce and seems to be doing the straight woman “I hate men” thing after a breakup.
That said, you’d think she’d be more aware of stuff like this after she lost the job doing the behind the scenes stuff for RuPauls Drag Race after former contestants complained about stuff she’d said in the past.
richardNobbs
I get where you’re coming from but as you conclude she has been here before. Like lots of str8 people she may not hate gay people but she practices that casual lazy homophobia. She really does need to fix herself.
ParkerSparks
Her divorce was finalized earlier this year. I was at a friend’s house when that episode was on. As soon
as she made that comment I knew she would get (well deserved) backlash.
As far as hating men, she’s always talking about how much she loves (straight) men.
I don’t see her show often, but almost every one I do view, she makes stupid comments.
Donston
Wendy is the perfect example of why “ally culture” is incredibly dumb. She indulges her “queer” audience because it benefits her and because so many of them adore her and entertain her. Yet, a significant amount of her fans are well aware that she’s generally “problematic”. Over the years she’s said a lot of sneakily homophobic, homo-shaming, femme-shaming, gay-panic-y, transphobic, misandrist shit. I guess she’s like that bitter old auntie who you still find entertaining. Though I got bored of her some time ago.
djhavyk
Cheers to the author of this piece! The sentiment exactly mirrors my own when this story first broke: she didn’t apologize for anything more than not censoring herself better. It’s an opinion show and that was clearly her opinions on the subject. Posting a video with crocodile tears saying she apologizes doesn’t fix things.
To be fair, I think it’s pretty common for women who claim to love their gay men to be two-faced about it or hiding secret emotions. Whether it be the feelings they have for one or more of the guys they are friends with or, as with Wendy here, secretly resenting them for whatever reason. They know that we can be a lot of fun to have in their lives and can be really good friends who understand them, but emotions and jealousy tend to beat their better angels from time to time.
If I had to guess, I would say that Wendy probably tolerates the gay community publicly because it’s the politically correct thing to do and because we constitute her only male demographic for her show. But deep down she probably sees us as a threat to her finding the type of man she wants in her life (either we “steal them away” or “convert them” or whatever.)
Honey, please…we’re not the reason men don’t want to date you.
djmcgamester
Cannot even fathom why anyone liked her. Maybe saw an ep or two and had no interest in ever watching her again.
anttik
Well Wendy’s trash, with only thin layer of varnish, enough to have gotten her that awful show. It’s long time since I’ve seen her show but judging by the picture, she looks even more a
drag queen than I remembered.
Sapphireone
This piece of trash has been demeaning, belittling and exploiting the LGBTQ community from the beginning of her drug-addled “career.” She made her bones as a radio personality who gleefully “outed” rappers who she THOUGHT were gay, stirring up steaming mugs of straight-up homophobia for ratings. This THOT is NO friend to our community and should have been canceled before she was even handed a mic.
Invader7
Miss Two Faced ..looking more like a hag every day. How much has this drag queen looking female gotten? She’s a product of an old black culture-where a thug aka a man was a prized catch/ She’s stuck in an old mentality…
MarkyMarkNipple
I’ve never watched her show or listened to her on the radio
Me2
Wendy has always had some sort of contempt for gay men. During her NYC radio days she made it her mission to try to out famous men who she thought were gay. She was responsible for starting so many viscous rumors that still follow many of these men today. Her entire career was built on the exploitation of other people’s insecurities, tragedies, and pain. Guess her not-so-secret is out now, and people really see that she’s a phony and isn’t loyal to anyone.
peacefulruffneck
Wendy please leave your 15 minutes of fame gracefully and go volunteer in a soup kitchen or homeless shelter where you can be of at least some use to humanity.
Kangol2
Great comments about Wendy. She’s mainly afraid of losing a chunk of her audience because of her unedited hatefulness. Clearly the filter failed and she blurted out what she really thought. Her apology was half-hearted, and now she realizes she might be canceled. Bloop bloop, you did it yourself, Miss Thing.
And can I just add, this is the same Wendy who mocked Diana Ross when the supreme Supreme got poked in the vulva by some nutty fan a few years ago. Wendy was actually laughing and making fun of Diana Ross after a sexual assault. Who does that? What woman does that? What woman does when an elder superstar is attacked? I knew then that Wendy was way off her rocker, even more so than before.
But Jeremy, come on. “Mensie”? Really?
MENSES! You know, a period. Sheesh. Did you skip sex ed in junior high or high school?
Sir Jase
As a gay man, I found her words very offensive. She knows better, yet it took over a day to respond with that weak apology. Wendy, prove you are better than that by your actions, not your attempt at saving-face words. Until then, don’t call us “my LGBTQ plus community”, you aren’t an icon of us.