Since straight men are often insulted when they’re called gay — #fragility — one Reddit user recently asked gay guys if they’d be insulted if they were called “straight.”
Related: WATCH: Do you benefit from straight-passing privilege?
“‘Straight-acting’ is a fetish among gays, so I’d imagine most of us would be flattered by it, and/or affirmed in our heteronormative impulses,” one user replied. “[In my opinion], insulting someone by calling them straight is deliciously ironic.”
Another user, noting that his might be an unpopular opinion, confirmed he is “kind of flattered” when it happens to him. “I was little, I got the usual teasing because I was a little effeminate, so I like when people think I’m straight,” he explained. “It’s not like they would have any reason to believe I am. I dress masculine, have a deep voice and the face of a mugger. My gestures and mannerisms give it away.”
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Related: Reddit users offer their best comebacks for someone who uses ‘gay’ as a pejorative
Someone else said he would, in fact, be insulted. “But less so than if someone assumed I was Republican,” he added.
Another guy wrote, “I’d just be surprised someone thinks I can pass as straight.”
And a different commenter said it all depends. “If it comes from a straight person, I wonder if I’m not being gay enough and would question all of my interactions with said person lol,” he wrote.
Et tu, dear Queerty reader? Would it be insulting to be called straight? Flattering? None of the above? Give us your take in the comment section below.
Diplomat-G
No, I am not insulted if I am called Stright or Gay for one simple reason you can never be insulted by someone you do not know or respect. So say what you like, you are too insignificant to me to care.
Donston
Men in general are incredibly insecure and have fragile egos. With “queer” males there tend to be a layer of self-consciousness or inferiority complexes added to insecurity and fragility. Even in our “community” there’s pressure to act more masculine or more feminine. There’s bottom shaming. There’s body shaming. There’s self-misandry. There’s “straight guy” obsessions. There’s identity pressuring. And no matter identity or where you fit in the romantic, sexual, affection, fascination, emotion, relationship spectrum- many are trying to fit into their version of hetero-normalcy or trying to get some type of “straight world” acceptance or acknowledgement. It’s a mess, but it is what it is.
jami_h30
lol
giaviveden1985
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LumpyPillows
God, snowflakes…just stop.
NateOcean
“How *dare* you assume I’m heterosexual!”
judysdad
Nobody ever thinks I’m gay till I tell them. Doesn’t bother me a bit.
Donston
No one from Reddit actually said they have been offended by it. Someone merely posed a question, and most the responses were not caring about what others think you are or being flattered by someone assuming that you’re “straight”.
Believe me, ain’t no one truly offended by randoms mistaking them for “straight”. But there’s still so much ignorance out here. At least 50% of overtly “queer-ish” guys aren’t really homosexual. And probably at least 50% of dudes who are inherently homosexual are “straight passing”. While femininity/masculinity don’t have as much to do with sexuality or orientation as they have to do with gender expression/instincts. Where you are in the romantic, sexual, affection, fascination, emotion, relationship spectrum does not have as much to do with femininity/masculinity as folks would like to believe. There’s still so many basic thinking muther-fvckers out here. And it just continues to add to issues.
Tempus
Perhaps for various reasons I won’t go into I’ve shockingly, never to my face anyway, been verbally labeled either straight or gay. Kinda shocked as I live in an area with it’s share of homophobes but hey lucky me I guess. I mean I’ve always assumed, except for those who delude themselves because they don’t want me to be, that everyone around me just assumes I’m gay as when coming out some have given the whole “Duh, I already knew.” reply. Nobody just walks up to me and goes “Hey, you’re straight right?” and if they did I’d be tempted to laugh in their face. If they did I wouldn’t be offended but I would silently question their mental abilities.
michael379
Hey