Dubious Honor

Introducing The Douches Of The Year: The Republican Presidential Candidates

And the rest

Even candidates who collectively constitute “Other” in polls have done their bit to contribute to the overall douchiness of the field:

*Gone and forgotten, Tim Pawlenty‘s brief moment on the national stage largely consisted of trying to prove his manhood to the Religious Right by calling for the return of DADT. Still, before he departed the campaign trail he managed to equate climate warming with homosexuality. How douchey is that?

* Thrice-married ex-Louisiana governor Buddy Roemer would frantically backpedal after suggesting states should be able to make their own decisions about marriage equality.

*The only openly gay candidate in the field, Fred Karger showered himself with douchiness when he took to mocking Mormon religious beliefs.

Dishonorable Mentions

We are, however, sorry to tell two candidates that they didn’t make the cut for Queerty Douches of the Year: Former Utah governor Jon Huntsman (at right) is hardly a raving liberal, but he has suggested that he believes that gay people might actually be human and deserving of rights like civil unions. And Gary Johnson, the former New Mexico governor whose candidacy you probably never heard of and probably never will hear of again, actually supports marriage equality as a matter of principle.

Needless to say both Huntsman and Johnson are so little regarded by Republican voters that, accounting for the margin of error in most polls, they might actually be running in the negative percentages.

So with all the respect and fanfare they deserve, Queerty bestows the Douche of the Year title to the frontrunners in the Republican race for presidential nominee. All of them. Given their collective performance so far, we have every confidence that whomever gets the nod from the GOP will be the frontrunner for the honor in 2012.

We just hope we don’t have to mail the award to the White House.

 

Images via DonkeyHotey