Is A National Coming Out Day For Politicians A Fantastic Idea? No

Last week closeted Australian transport minister David Campbell found himself on the other side of the closet door when someone videotaped him leaving a gay sex club. Campbell’s not rabidly anti-gay like some of his closeted American counterparts, but he does have a sick wife and kids which made gay activist Gary Burns wonder: Could Campbell’s disgrace been avoided if politicians had their own National Coming Out Day?

Gary Burns is known for being an outspoken critic of anti-gay peeps: he famously sued DJ John Laws for calling Queer Eye‘s Carson Kressley a “poof”, “pansy”, and “pillow biter” (a suit that eventually got thrown out). Burns also got the boot from the Labour Party for verbally abusing anti-gay Environment Minister Malcolm Turnbull’s wife Lucy by calling her a “middle-aged well dressed ‘fag hag’ impersonator of a wife.” So we can’t take Mr. Burns’ idea seriously, especially when he says that on a politicians’ National Coming Out Day “any politicians in the closet… can all come out together and hold hands in Martin Place,” Sydney’s business district (pictured).

Uh-huh.

Burns says Campbell brought his disgraceful outing upon himself by living a double life. He’s right. He’s also being a douche. Closeted politicians already have a coming out day; it’s called the National Coming Out Day and it’s the same everyone has. It could also be called Tuesday or Saturday or whatever other regular day they choose.

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So Campbell presented himself as a happily married family man while fucking men behind his sick wife’s back. That makes him a jerk. It doesn’t necessary make him a candidate for being forced out of the closet.

Campbell has no history of corruption or legislative gay bashing, and by saying politicians like him should get a separate day to acknowledge their gayness at the heart of Australia’s corporate district, Burns is heartlessly treating Campbell like a mock-worthy freak instead of emblematic of an older generation of gay men who deserve our help, not our scorn.

Of course, a coming out day for American Repugnicans would totally help out anti-gay assclowns—such as Mark Foley, Ted Haggard, Larry Craig, and Bob Allen—who deserve fourth and fifth helpings of public scorn thrown at them instead of sympathy. That way these closet cases could come out like decent human beings instead of like crying meth queens caught with their fists clenched up some rentboy’s ass.