On Saturday our inbox received — among the come-ons from Falcon Studios and 10percent.com — an email with the subject line “Neal Boulton is going to die.” Boulton, you’ll recall, is the recovering homosexual who used to edit Genre magazine, before fleeing the premises just moments before it was shut down. Now he toils away on something called BastardLife.com, a site for bisexuals, which Boulton sometimes is when he’s not pronouncing his return to heterosexuality while he bangs his wife. The email, from an anonymous Yahoo account, explained that Boulton “left the hospital for the SECOND time this week due to detoxing from alchohol and cocaine.” A-hem. Accusations of drug and alcohol abuse about a Queerty mascot? Normally this is the stuff we love. But then we remembered: Boulton is a shameless self-promoter and is known to send “anonymous” emails on his own behalf to drum up headlines, and after Michael Lucas, we’re not sure how much of this we can support. But, it looks like somebody bit:
Page Six. It reports: Boulton “entered a treatment program at Roosevelt Hospital Tuesday following a report from his doctors that he has cirrhosis of the liver.”
Not exactly the type of health news you would think somebody would plant about themselves. But the item comes with the requisite soundbite from Boulton — “Like Keith Richards says calmly about heroin, I say about coke and vodka: I’m done” — that makes us think Page Six got the same email we did.
So without further ado, let’s just print the thing, which, we should note, was sent to us from a “concerned ex.” (None of this, our attorneys remind you, should be considered even close to the truth. It is, like Carrie Prejean’s mere existence, for entertainment purposes only.)
Today NB left the hospital for the SECOND time this week due to detoxing from alchohol and cocaine that I as his former girfrend warned him about many many times over our secret affair. He has TB, Pnemonia, and has been had seizures many time in front of me this week while I was stuid enough to visit his dumb ass. His nervous system is shot, he has to walk now with a cane and all he can do is blow off all of our and his wives and doctrs advixe and shuffe aournd Union street with he just returend today like Ozzy Osbourn or something He was rude to me as if nothin between us hapened because he thinks that women and men only exist for their pussies and asses. He’s he a heel but I love him and and am worried beceause at this rate he is going t die. He is waiting for a bed at Roosevelts Alcohol in patient clinit but I put y money down he’ll blow it off a for the Braracuda then Flight 151 he’ll drag some blod hag home to fuck her too. Worse of all he has cerosis of the liver now as a result of all of this , too. He needs a major beeting from you people because he’s all smiles and handshakes and charm but he’s a very sick man who WILL die if he doesn’t stop using drugs and drinking NOW. Thank you for listening to all of this but I was left with no choice to rat him out to a larger public will give him shit about this to and mabe try to help
Thanks for keeping in touch.