Ted Haggard, the adorable former anti-gay preacher and male prostitute enthusiast, is returning to the pulpit! At his house!
Just weeks after indicating he didnât want to start his own church, Haggard is doing just that, from his own house at 1865 Old Ranch Road, in Colorado Springs, announced via Twitter. The first meeting is this Thursday and will be, officially, a âprayer meeting.â But heâs not stopping reporters from calling it a church.
Think Haggard is crazy? He isnât. He started New Life Church â which ended up forcing him out â in 1985 with 25 people meeting in his basement. Heâs also a motivated man: the insurance salesman thing isnât working out so well, and his only real source of cash are talks like these.
So what are the advantages of preaching from the home? Less overhead, the possibility of getting a property tax write-off, and the ability to pull fresh baked meth brownies from the oven.
How about we take this to the next level?
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romeo
Will it have a back room?
terrwill
I know one of those rightwing-nutbag zealots has a mega church called the Crystal Palace.
Will Haggards be called The Crystal Meth Palace????
jarvisbearcub
That’s what many-a preacher have done. Maybe he watched “The Apostle” one too many times.
Does he realize how liberal it is to start a church because you don’t want to follow the restrictions that others place on your ability to lead a congregation? How could anyone support THAT?
DelphKC
I wish him well, so long as he changes his tune to “God loves everyone, no matter what… Gay is Good…” We’ll see how this one plays out… đ đ đ
Clark
I doubt any of the right wing crazies in Colorado Springs will show up for this scam. Maybe he’d have better luck doing “ex-gay” ministry.
alan brickman
needs a wet bar…
dontblamemeivotedforhillary
He’s clearly tweaking again!
Todd
He’s just frighting!
YellowRanger
I smell a reality show in the making.
Willard in Ohio
“his only real source of cash are talks like these.”
He could always do porn. I’d buy it!
romeo
Too bad he was saddled with the religion “thang.” He’s not bad. Probably could have met a nice fella and adopted a couple of Romanian orphans and had a life. But in his business having phrases like “long-term relationship with a mail prostitute,” and “crack” associated with you means you’re pretty much screwed. I think his best course of action would be to man up, dump the wife, come out big-time and hit the media circuit with that. You know, lead an authentic life. Then write an HONEST book. That I’d buy.
B
romeo asked, “Will it have a back room?” My guess is no back room, but instead a dungeon in the cellar decked out with a Hell motif. Then he can preach about how sinners will go to Hell and those parishioners who need a little sin can simply wander down the stairs (to “Hell”), get a quickie, and be back in time to drop some $$$ into the collection plate.
Since they believe a ritual can leave you “cleansed” of sin, you minimize the time between doing it and wiping the slate clean, nearly eliminating the risk of “eternal damnation”. It could be the best scam since “rapture insurance”.