Oprahcalypse Now

Is the End of Oprah the First Real Sign of the Rapture?

What a shame about that “missed connection” between the saved and their most heavenly kingdom! But we think that Harold Camping may have been accurate with his predication after all. Just a few hours post-rapture, we are seeing the first signs of the chosen floating off to their everlasting life with the ending of the Oprah Winfrey Show.

After 25 years making America laugh, cry, scream with excitement over a year’s supply of macaroni and cheese, and never lose those pesky lesbian rumors, Oprah Winfrey signed off her show simply and solemnly. It was just her on stage, addressing the many viewers and guests from whom she has learned so much over the past decades. These are indeed end times! What, now, is left to look forward to here on Earth?

Even if the world goes on turning without Oprah (and that’s a big if), we’ll always have our fond memories. We even reported here on Queerty about what a difference she has made back when she did her “gayest show ever,” making her even more dear to our hearts!

Really, Oprah, you’re just like us. Except for the money, and that we aren’t being replaced by a lesbian. At least, not yet.