Is This Throuple Destined For Happiness? Or Is a 3-Way Relationship Doomed?


Who are we to judge other people’s relationships? (We typed that with a straight face!) But this self-described “throuple” — a three-way long-term relationship — is either the most functional grouping of three very different personalities, or the most dysfunctional grouping of three men just looking for love.

There’s Justin (center, the alpha male furniture salesman), Mickey (right, Justin’s original boyfriend, who works in Spanish television), and Max (left, unemployed and the third member of this relationship). When you’ve got two people in a relationship, it’s easier to understand the power structure: One partner may steer or dominate the relationship, while another acts more passive (but that doesn’t mean he relinquishes power, as anyone with a master’s in passive aggressive behavior can attest).

When it comes to a throuple, however, normal roles disappear. Or maybe they’re just duplicated. It’s clear Justin is the leader of the pack. He sets the rules (who can have sex with who, who’s allowed to talk to other guys), in a way that leads some to question the health of this relationships. No, this throuple doesn’t practice monogamy. Or at least one-third of it doesn’t. And Mickey and Max seem to just accept it, though whether it’s with a laugh of despair is your call.

It’s almost cathartic to watch this interview (from aspiring filmmaker Cayle Ryan Pietras, taped in August in New York City’s Hell’s Kitchen), with the three lovers rubbing each other’s chests, biceps, and cheeks. The way they casually open up about a relationship structure that some will immediately deem grotesque or bizarre. How frankly they reveal the guidelines of the relationship — all led by Justin’s near monologue. (To know Justin, simply read this one line: “I have stopped having sex with other people [outside the relationships], for the most part. … It was probably about five a week.”)

Most of us can probably relate, or identify with, one of these three men. Which is what makes any exploration of someone else’s relationship so enthralling. So we won’t pass judgment on whether we think this set up works — we know at least one throuple ourselves, and they’ve been together more than a dozen years — or if it’s right for everybody.

But if three men who genuinely care about each other can find happiness in a throuple, even if one partner seems to decide how the relationship works, well then we wish them all the best.

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  • Erick

    Well, I think this kind of relationships can work, but only if the right people are involved and above all if the rules are set and agreed upon by everyone, and of course respected. Otherwise you are living for somedoby else and not for yourself.

    As for this guys, all I am going to say is that body language is very telling and that I wish them well.

  • Will

    I’ve been in this sort of relationship twice, and it’s really not that different than a two-person relationship. There’s just more of everything… good and bad.

  • SteamPunk

    I really hate to sound cynical – I hate cynicism – but everything about these to videos to me seems extremely staged. Almost as if they thought, “What;s the best way to sit on this sofa to insinuate our undying affection for each other?”

    Regardless, if it’s real then it can work. I’ve seen it happen. Best of luck to them.

  • Fitz

    I don’t think that it’s “3 people” is as much of an issue as the power dynamic is. It’s just a dog with a couple of bitches,Alpha bitch got boring, so a new one was brought on. not that unique. What are the goals of the relationship? There are all sorts of ways to do relationship.. the question is what do you want out of it. Personally, my goals includes need a dyad. There is no joy in my life greater than seeing my partner and I growing.

    And the staging? Totally.

  • John from England(used to be just John but there are other John's)

    @Fitz: Agree.

    And personally, maybe I’m immature but I’m a jealous and intense person by nature-I only want one person to grow and develop with initimately.

  • Justin Smith

    they are not staged, thats me in the middle there (Justin). not sure who wrote this, but they actually did a pretty good job. it is real and it it is working very well. you can goo to my blog if you believe otherwise.

    not sure how much i like my boys refereed to as bitches. lets try and be as respectful as much as we can.

    videos and editing can be very deceiving. especially when the three of us are never on camera. yes, i am honest and up front. the reason i agreed to this was because i thought it might help people. show them there is not only one way to have a relationship. yes, i am a horny guy and admitted it. the difference between me and most people, I ADMITTED IT!!!

    my boys are happy. i am happy. if you want real details you need to read and not just see a 15 min video.


  • Mountainword

    They’re not your “bitches”, yet you refer to them as your “boys”. Hmmm… interesting.

    And if you can’t take the criticism and speculation, then you shouldn’t have put your relationship out there for the entire world to see. People usually aren’t nice about things they don’t understand.

    Best of luck. I hope you don’t wake up someday to find your “boys” have flown the coop with each other.

  • terrwill

    Lets see: The two older not exactaly hot guys are employed. The younger cute twink type is unemployed. And Justin “sets the rules” Looks like someone has two, not one sugar Daddies. A true relationship is a 50/50 partnership. With each partner sharing in decisions regarding the relatinship. Sorry Justin, if they accept you terms, as to who to have sex with and who to talk to (WTF?????) they are “your bitches”…….Max is hot, tell him if he wants know what a real relationship is all about, and how great it can be to get a job and call me………………

  • Justin Smith

    i dont think anything about my last post indicated that i cant take criticism. the term “boys” is something i have been using for the last 9 years. its in no way a put down on their part. referring to them as bitches is. thats not a criticism, thats an insult.

    but enough about definitions. i dont mind hearing peoples thoughts. i welcome it. seriously. but there is a respectable way to do everything. STEAMPUNK is a prime example of this.

    i am a VERY difficult man to live with. the endure alot. there is a chance that they could leave. i respect that. but one thing i know about them is they dont “fly the coup”. they would have the balls to tell em to my face.

  • Justin Smith

    we are all 28 actually. :) including the cute unemployed one

  • AlanInSLC

    Need/Want a 4th? :)

  • Fitz

    They are bitches. You run like a pack of wolverines, and they are dispensable and replaceable to you. You have one set of rules, they have another. Not a humanistic relationship. Not what I want of of life for me or the people I care about. If you don’t like them being called bitches, then don’t proudly shove it out there that they are second class members of your pack. It’s working for you- that’s great. My comment is that I find the power dynamic sad, not the # of members.

  • terrwill

    @Justin Smith: That makes it more better! Tell Max to get a job and if he wants a real relationship let me know…………No one cares WTF you do but please don’t put on a show and play pretend that it is a real relationship. You need to learn what one is in order to be in one, and what you have isn’t

  • Hermitage

    I wish the three of you all the happiness in the world. I don’t have anyone to share my life with (never have) and I do envy you for finding (each of you) two people who love you. I was never one to judge other people and the choices they make. Now if I can only find myself two cute boys who want a third in their midst :-)

  • Dominic

    @Justin Smith: I think the dynamic is very interesting, and I am extremely happy for all three of you. Personally, I can barely stand being one person, let alone 2, but more power to you, and congratulations for finding your soulmates!

  • schlukitz

    To each, his own.

  • Mr. Enemabag Jones

    alpha male furniture salesman…

    That’s an oxymoron.

    I really don’t care if this “throuple” works or not; I just want to see the sex tape and I want to be present when these “boys” try to figure out whom brought the syphilis infection into the relationship.

  • mark

    Look, these types of relationships, mainly because of the types of people in them, are RARELY if ever sustainable. We know this.

    So let’s let them have their pleasure and love, let’s check back in 18 months to see the new cast of characters.

    There is a reason why you don’t see three old people growing old together.

  • AlanInSLC


    Please define what a real relationship is?

    From what I have experienced in my own relationships and witnessed in other people’s relationships is that EVERY relationship is different. There are no two alike, but all equal with their potential and beauty. Whether there is two committed people or more in the relationship, how it functions is irrelevant as long as the people involved are happy and it doesn’t hurt anyone.

    I feel the more types of relationships out there, the more likely people will stop imposing their views on how they feel everyone should live and what is acceptable. There would be too many to try to keep on top of. I say accept everyone, regardless of how they want to express themselves and their love for others, or even how many people they choose to share their lives and love with.

    Why not offer support?

    Is it really that hard to accept what others do in their lives if it is different from what you are comfortable with in your own? Their lives aren’t spilling over into yours (it was you that chose to read the article in the first place), so let them be. They aren’t going anywhere, so either look the other way, look at them with intrigue, or support them and hope for the best. Don’t hate!

  • schlukitz

    @Mr. Enemabag Jones:

    Why does disease have to be dragged into every conversation about relationships, whatever they happen to be? Do you believe that straight people do not engage in menage a trois behavior
    as well?

    You argument is no different from that of the religious right to denigrate homosexual relationships between two people. Who the heck are you to judge anyone else’s relationship?

    You are just as guilty of being judgemental as those who would judge you for your relationship. MYOB and concentrate on sucking the cock in front of your face, instead of poking your nose where it does not belong.

    If they get a disease, that’s their problem, not yours!

  • schlukitz


    Look, these types of relationships, mainly because of the types of people in them, are RARELY if ever sustainable. We know this.

    Oh, we do know this?

    And what do we have to substantiate that assertion with, may I ask? Facts please?

  • Justin Buchbinder

    As the guy who wrote the post linked here, and a former member of a throuple, I can say the following things:

    Watch the movie.

    Justin lords over them with an iron fist.

    Max looks annoyed that he can’t sleep with other people, even though Justin can.

    Mickey met a cute boy, but Justin claims he’s ugly and crazy and won’t let him meet up with him. “He’s not ALLOWED to bring people home or give our address away.”

    That’s not a throuple… it’s a gay hostage situation. How convenient that Justin can sleep with whomever he wants, whenever he wants, but his b/fs aren’t allowed.

    That’s not how my throuple worked. I’m not saying all throuples are destined for failure. I’m just saying that this isn’t a throuple.

    Free yourselves, Max and Mickey. RUN FOR THE HILLS!


  • Paul

    I was also a member of a “throuple” (with the author of this post, in fact), and although it eventually ended, the love and support that we shared continues in our amazing friendships today. No matter how much love there is – 3 people in a small studio on the upper east side will drive anyone crazy eventually.

    Still, I wish these three the best of luck. Love with trust can transcend many obstacles.

  • Max

    The quiet one speaks up….

    I get that people don’t understand our relationship and Im used to criticism and comments. Im always open to discussing and trying to help people understand our dynamic. We agreed to be on film because we are generally asked so many questions about our relationship that we figured this might help some people get a better understanding of how we work. I am a little disappointed in the fact that so much of the conversation revolves around our sex life because I feel it gives people the impression that our relationship revolves around sex. Our relationship truly does revolve around love, but our sex lives seem to be the only thing people ever want to ask us about.

    Mickey is one of the least sexual people I have ever met which is why the two of them were in an open relationship when I met them. I was just hanging out with them for the sex with Justin for the first 2 years. Over time, I got to know them both really well and fell in love with not one but two people. Having 2 people to share your love with and give you that same amount of love is one of the most amazing things in the world.

    Yes, Justin is the “dominant” one in our relationship, but that doesnt mean he controls everything. He is stubborn and I pick my battles. For the most part, I just need to let him get things out of his system. Sleeping with other people has become a rarity at this point, and no, he is no longer the only one that is allowed to.

    For the record, no this really isnt staged… this is just our life. After work, we are always together, someone cooks and we lay on the couch till ed time cuddling and watching tv or netflix. Our lives really arent that exciting.

    And no, I dont have 2 sugar daddies, lol. I was a sales executive, but sadly, this economy and my sales position didnt mesh well. My unemployment and savings support me, not my boyfriends.
    And Terrwill- I’d love to get a job. Let me know if you have any leads.

  • Paul

    @JBuch – In all fairness, I did not get to watch the whole video since I am at work and near-naked boys can be frowned upon in an open office situation. If all you said is true – yeesh. If the other two are okay with this rule and like to be dominated, more power to them.
    I’m sure there are aspects about the relationship not seen in this video that remain inexplicable to everyone BUT those three. Lest we not forget our naysayers.

  • jwalker666

    I really don’t see how it can work out in the long run. I totally get a threesome…or maybe a short term “throuple”, but I can’t imagine this lasting too long. From what I have seen, even one on one relationships don’t last that long, not to mention throwing another guy into the mix. It seems to be all about sex, and if one of the guys can go out and screw outside the relationship, and another one cant…well that doesnt sound like it’s going to last very long.

  • Justin Buchbinder


    You are right. And seeing Max’s comment has me second guessing. Maybe it DOES work and all involved are happy with what they’ve got. If so, then yes, I send them all my well wishes, as well.

    All I can know is what I could see on that video.

    It’s not my place to judge, but hell, we all do it any way, right?

    And in the end, all publicity is good publicity – I’m sure Justin’s blog and the documentary will be getting plenty of hits this morning.


  • James

    Did a throuple for a year. Best and worst time of my life. There is a love in this configuration that cannot be matched in another way. You have to experience it, before you judge it. It is very, very hard though and not sustainable – and if you can be satisfied with a blaze of emotional energy that shines bright briefly and then collapses it is worth experiencing at least once.

  • Kiwi

    I believe Dan Savage said it best.

    “I’ve been to plenty of polyamorous weddings, but I’ve never been to a polyamorous 3 year anniversary party.”

  • terrwill

    @Max: Now I am really confused, Max you seem to be intelligent and based on your brief post a nice guy. I need to go home tonite and view the videos before I make any more comments (am actually at work ;-P ) Based on the descriptions it seems like what I do know is that if you truly love someone and have a real relationship and it is mutual there is no way sleeping with others (outside and inside in your cases)fits into the equasion. I had a tremendous relationship for many years which was destroyed by a drunken scumbag who had no business getting behind the wheel one night and killed my lover. I am sorry Max, I don’t think what you have qualifies as a relationship. Will check your video out tonite………….

  • M Shane

    It seem to that multiple relationships would be exceptionally healthy; the coexistence of other partners would keep the relationship healthy, if the people involved weren’t especially co-dependant.
    Often for one person to be constantly set with satisfying all the needs of another person is to demanding and tedious.
    Again it depends on the people , but gay people have demonstrated an exceptional ability to get along with multiple people in different arrangements.
    I suspect that the object of a “lifetime partnership” will remain somewhat of a any case;.

  • Max

    @terrwill: Thanks, I like to think of myself as intelligent as well ;)

    The one thing that my current relationship has made me realize, is that there doesn’t need to be a set standard of rules to make something work. If you really want to make something last, figure out what rules and standards work best for you and go with it. As long as everyone is happy, it really doesn’t matter what other peoples opinions are. It really is a live and learn process for us. It’s been 3 and a half years so far that we have gotten to know each other and even though there is still more to learn and the occasional kink to work out, I think we are doing pretty well so far. The best part of our day is getting to fall asleep next to each other.

    Again, this video really only shows a tiny glimpse into what our relationship is like and sadly, its not focusing on our most flattering aspects.

  • Justin Smith

    First, some of these comments seem to have so much anger and hate. If this makes you feel that way I want to apologize to you. Wow, I am blown away. I really started this cause exactly what Max said: we get asked a lot of questions. But at the same time, I also feel like we all have a protocol when it comes to a relationship. At one point I felt this way as well. Things happened that obviously changed my opinion of this. This is only meant to show people that there are other options out there. Have you ever been in a relationship and had feelings for another person? Is this wrong? Can there be a happy medium?

    This is a relatively new concept at the same time. I don’t think there are enough situations recorded to know the real facts about what lasts and what doesn’t. Which brings me to another topic, time? Everyone seems to be hung up on what lasts and what doesn’t. I am young, but even so have sustained a relationship for almost a decade now. I have come to terms with the fact that things have to end sometime. Things change. People change. When one adventure ends another begins. If it were to end, so be it. I am in love now. I am living for what happening NOW, not what might happen. No matter what our thoughts on relationships are, don’t worry yourself with what might be or how long things last. Realize what’s in front of you and enjoy it.

    My love for Max and Mickey is not a joke. It’s not staged. It’s truly amazing. I wake up every morning knowing I am one lucky SOB.

  • Tonyboy

    Very Sad. The need to blog and now videotape their lives for teh public says that they are still searching for love. I guess the 3 way relationship isn’t working so now they feel the need to take it public. LOOK AT US!! Please love and accept us. This totally reeks of 3 twenty-somethings (the one needs to start moisturizing because he looks a lot older)trying to have their reality show moment.

  • Justin Smith

    @terrwill: I can’t begin to know what that feels like. I am truly sorry for your loss. Jesus, I am in tears just thinking about it.

    Your opinion is EXTRMLY welcome and respected. I think knowing what does and does not work for you is a huge part of life. And even more the way to convey your opinion is that much better. You are a wise and classy man.

    You need to click on my name and read the blog form beginning to end. This video is not the best look into who we are.

  • Republican

    “Lets see: The two older not exactaly hot guys are employed. The younger cute twink type is unemployed. ”

    That counts as cute in your book? Sheesh, have some standards, man.

  • Justin Smith

    @Kiwi: send me your addy, ill be sure to invite you in a year and a half

  • Kyle24

    @Justin Smith:

    You haven’t sustained a relationship for nearly a deacade! You have had an open relationship for nearly a decade. Gee!! That’s really hard to do. I guess we are a lot alike seeing that I sleep around too. The difference is that I don’t have someone splitting the bills. I don’t call my tricks a relationship.

  • Seanboy

    Yep! Our “community” deserves the right to get married.

    What in the world do you parents think of all of this? Your poor families.

  • Cam

    I watched the entire video. Honestly the body language to me seemed more like The guy in the middle and the one wearing a shirt connect more intellectually, they quip and talk, but there wasn’t a lot of touching. The guy in the middle and the skinny one in front were all over each other the entire time, but the little bit of conversation between them was semi-confrontational, arguing about who texted who, or about who got to sleep with others.

    My Take, the guy in the middle gets along with the one in the shirt like a best friend, roomate/occaisional fuck buddy. He has the skinny guy for the sexual attraction, trips to circut parties etc… but if he had an important white collar job he would take the guy wearing a shirt to company events as his boyfriend, then they would both go home, he would change into club ware and take the skinnny guy out dancing to the clubs.

    It probably works because having the guy in the shirt around, allows him to connect with somebody conversationally, and the skinny guy and he are obviously hot for each other even though their communitication seems to be of a more (Bossy guy/Petulant child) kind of level, so that takes care of the sexual needs of the relationship. Just my take on them after watching the video.

  • Dominic

    I don’t understand why it is SO hard for gay men to accept other gay men’s happiness. Even if what you see here may not be what YOU want, or what you may believe is happiness, they are obviously happy with themselves, or they wouldn’t be there! No one is being held against their free will in this relationship, so why would they stay if they were truly THAT unhappy.

    I just really don’t understand why everyone has such a problem accepting these men for who they are. We as a community have enough problems with people OUTSIDE our community ripping us apart, no need to do it to each other as well.

    Oh, Kiwi, I may love Dan Savage, but since when did what he say rule the entire gay world?

    Again, congratulations to Max Mickey and Justin for finding your soul mates

  • Justin Smith

    @Kyle24: So, you feel that when a relationship opens up, it’s no longer a relationship? I am not being condescending, I am just asking?

    We did not open things up till after 5 years. I think that the thought that someone in an open relationship is really just living with a trick is very interesting. I think I know at least 30 or so couples that could really give you a run for your money.

    Just as Max said earlier, you find out what works for you and you work things out. Sex does not define our relationship. We reach a point where his drive lowered and mine accelerated. So by your definition since we don’t have the same sex drive we should end our relationship. Really?

  • Justin Smith

    @Seanboy: My mother LOVES them!!! They all know and respect us. No, even more, they love us. No one in any of our families has ever shown the slightest hesitation with our relationship. This is probably why we all have an open mind about things.

  • Tylertime

    Shoot me now if I’m ever in a 3 way relationship and still need to take in another roommate. I guess these guys must “love” one another because they certainly aren’t getting anyting financially out of this situation.

    Note to the 2 lesser attractive unemployed guys. Do you think having your life aired on youtube and blogged about is going to help you get jobs? Probably not.

  • Fitz

    It’s hard to think much of people who choose to be second class citizens in their own lives. I don’t care if it 20 people in a relationship.. when one of them is allowed to fuck around and the others aren’t- what the hell is that?

  • Kurt


  • Justin Smith

    @Cam: 100% what the video depicts. too funny that we just had this conversation with another friend of our that felt the same way.

    come hang out with us, you will see this is just not so :)

    seem like a pretty smart guy though. very observant.

  • Val

    One word: MESS

  • David

    @Justin Smith: You need to stop defending yourself. Your relationship is your relationship and were this a straight up documentary of your life, I’m sure some of what you’re now harping on how would have come across. But you and yours were quite obviously steered in a particular direction for the purposes of this film. For lack of better phrasing, you three got played, but it shouldn’t be your prerogative to defend yourself or your boyfriends to people who you don’t know.

    Just relax.

  • David

    @David: Sorry, my word choice sucks.

    All I mean to say is there will always be a reason for someone else to disapprove. What works for one won’t work for someone else, and it’s a futile effort to get people to understand that.

  • Justin Smith

    @David: if you are in nyc we are taking you to dinner. thank you :)

  • David

    Not in NYC, but good luck with everything in the Big Apple.

  • sebastien

    @Justin Smith:

    I don’t know why , Justin, some are so judgemental about your relationship. I think there ‘s maybe a bit of bitterness behind . I think you guys are great. It might last for life, 5 years, 20, who cares ? The most important thing is that what you live makes you feel loved, secured and happy.

    We (gays) are bashing Madonna, Kanye West yesterday, now you.

    Surely, there’s something wrong with us , gays, and our threshold of tolerance!

    I read sometimes the comments on some gay blogs and what I see makes me ashamed .

    Everyone should take a good look at them in the mirror before spitting their venom on blogs.

    You, WE, ask for tolerance and respect. How can we ask that from others when we judge some so badly…

    “It’s staged..” “It won’t last..”” He’s doing that on purpose..”
    “It’s faked”…”He called his guys ,boys..”…

    Seriously, open your minds to others. Whatever you might think of them, some think the same about you.

    There’s no book who describe how to love. There are no rules who tells us who we should or should not love . There are no “divine memo” who says that a relationship must be conduct with 2 people and not three, or 4 , or whatever…Oh yes, there is one . But if I remember correctly , it’s the same who says we should go to hell, no? So give the guys a break!

    Justin, best of luck and happiness..:-)

  • Fitz

    @sebastien: Bullshit. My message as a (for here) older gay man to the younger ones isn’t “Everything is always good, man”. My message is “Never be a second class citizen, no matter what they taught you.”

  • Dominic

    I think you have some of the best ideas I have seen posted on this website in a long time :)

  • Justin Smith

    @sebastien: wow. i am speachless. you def completly get it. thank you and the same to you

  • Justin Smith

    @Fitz: And old man regurgitating old teachings. You have been taught something and now not only to you have an opinion, but you also feel like everything else is wrong. This is a sad way to live

  • Fitz

    @Justin Smith: I usually don’t respond to predators, but in case you ever become a person, I will: My old teaching isn’t “monogamy”, it’s mutuality. Oh, and PS: good luck to any of you every trying to get a job from someone who knows how to Google. Smooth move.

  • Fitz

    @Justin Smith: I usually don’t respond to predators, but in case you ever become a person, I will: My “old teaching” isn’t “monogamy”, it’s mutuality. And yes, I ALWAYS think emotionally abusive people are wrong. Oh, and PS: good luck to any of you ever trying to get a job from someone who knows how to Google. Smooth move.

  • tresnovios

    We from 4 years live a wonderfull history of throuple, with beautiful moments and also ugly as any love story. To testify that there is no limit to the varied possibilities of the human (omo, etero, couple, troppia, etc) love, we regularly hold a blog ( There is not to defend the throuple and not even to propose as good form of relation, as the love doesn’t need absolute teachers. The love is the love and enough. Sorry for our bad english.

  • Calicious

    @Justin Smith:

    yeah and you can become the 4th!

  • tavdy79

    @Fitz: I was thinking of the word “harem”, but otherwise that was exactly my opinion.

  • PEter

    @Justin Smith: “lets try and be as respectful as much as we can.”

    Oh please….this is Queerty….no one here gets ANY respect…even the people that pose as writer, editor, publisher, etc…

  • Cam

    @sebastien: Hi Sebastian,

    I think in some ways you are too harsh on “The Gays”. It isn’t always about being judgemental to anybody that is different than you. Some of us have been in relationships and we can recognize simiarities, or we know people and see somebody like them. For me, when I look at the video, I see something where everybody at this time seems to be getting what they need out of it. Things could change. Max could decide that he wants somebody all to himself. Mickey could decide that he would rather be with that person that Justin says has the Gigantic Forehead (Perhaps a relative of Tyra Banks), and lastly Justin could decide “Hey, I’m tired of not being able to slut around all the time” or conversly “Wow, I’m tired of dealing with two people, I think I’m going to break up with both, and just have some alone time for a year” etc….

    So any of that could happen, or 40 years from now they could still be together retired in Florida yelling at kids to stay off their lawn , but again, some of the people on here may see in that video similar dynamics to previous relationships they had that didn’t end well and therefore are voicing their opinions that this won’t work, these comments don’t all have to come from a place of anger, bitterness, etc… For example, When my parents didn’t like my first boyfriend it wasn’t because they were bitter and judgemental, it’s because in their experience actors/models that they had met were self centered and not great relationship material and they didn’t want me to have to deal with that. I was pissed at them at the time but their “Judgement” let me know later on that it was ok to dump that guy and move on to somebody more compatible, I was greatful for the judgement.

    In the same way, by putting a video of themselves up here, this three-lationship has to expect some comments to come their way. Some might piss them off, but don’t order the pizza if you don’t like cheeze.

  • Agent_Cake

    @Justin Smith:

    After watching the video and reading your blog I’m not going to bash your relationship. As you say you’re living in the moment and it is working for now so be happy. But I can’t help but feel bad for Mickey it seems like he is getting the short end of the stick.

    There’s plenty of mentions of you and Max having sex with each other and others and then there is talk of Mickey talking to … cats. That just seems sad … kinda like he loves you so much that he is willing to put his own happiness aside to make room for your ego.

    This is not to say sex is the main part of a relationship but judging by the blog it seems to be a major part in any relationship you would be in. So missing out on it would be like missing out on a big piece of connecting emotionally.

  • Justin Smith

    @Fitz: Try googling JUSTIN SMITH, it wont get you very far. And too late. I already have a good job. They know both of my boys and are extremely supportive. Even have us over for dinner from time to time.

    If you are ever to open you mind, I would be glad to have a real conversation.

    I think it best to all refer to Sebastian’s comment. This IS the way to live your life on every level. 100%

  • Justin Smith

    @Agent_Cake: Regarding Mickey. Yes, I can see how this looks bad on all levels. I am sure Max is laughing reading this. You really have to know Mickey for this to be explained properly. He is EXTREMLY unique. No, we don’t have sex that often anymore. I can’t explain that either. My love for him, it’s unexplainable. It’s extreme. I think that we are so comfortable with each other at this point that it seems to look like this. I will promise you that he is loved very much and knows it. There is nothing I wouldn’t do for him.

  • Simon

    Don’t get me wrong — I’m a sucker for a good story. And I’d guess that the dynamics of this relationship provide for a more compelling plot line than anything dreamed up by the writers of Melrose Place. But watching this film you wouldn’t know it. I’d rather watch paint dry than waste the 5+ minutes I spent sludging through this hackneyed attempt at reality TV.

  • Cam

    @Justin Smith: You said “I will promise you that he is loved very much and knows it. There is nothing I wouldn’t do for him.”

    Except let him have sex with other people, and mock and make fun of people he does think of as cute. All in all Justin you seem like a pleasent sort of guy, but in some ways aren’t you manipulating Mickey in ways that prevent him from finding a relationship? Do you not have sex anymore because perhaps he is looking for other people to sleep with and just doesn’t know how to break it off? Max said that he had a low sex drive, yet in the video you make fun of him for jakcing off while using a Perrier bottle on himself….he doesn’t sound non-sexual there. Just my 2 cents.

  • Fitz

    Micky is a sad sack with no self esteem. And that works perfectly for the predator who loves him.

  • Max

    @Justin Smith: I almost pissed myself laughing so hard reading the comment about the cats.

  • Justin Smith

    @Cam: Welllllllll, first, we constantly make fun of one another. You just saw one conversation. I take a lot more hits than they do. They like to pick on me a lot. But I know it’s out of love and have no problem laughing at myself.

    Second, this has crossed my mind in the past. I have had the conversation with him. I asked :is the relationship he wants to be in? This is not traditional. Are you happy with me?” just cause when this all started happening I didn’t fully understand it. It took time and lots of communication to really understand. I have offered a break up a couple of times. Not something I want, but I truly love him enough to let him go if this is not for him. We never argue. We bicker. There is a huge difference.

    The reason the bottle came into play is because it’s SO RARE!!! LOL we were blown away. If it were a regular thing it would not have been as funny. But since it’s something he never does, that’s what made it funny.

    When Mickey is upset, or wants something, he speaks up. Don’t question that for a sec. it happens a lot more often than you think…..

  • John from England(used to be just John but there are other John's)


    Predator? Jeez, I think you’re taking this a little too seriously. All participants are adults and the same age.

  • Cam

    @Justin Smith: LOL!!! Well then Ok. My question, asked and answered. It seems like you guys have hashed things out as far as this working for you. Now my next question….Why stay in the relationship with Mickey? If you guys really get along and you love him but the sexual attraction is gone, (And it is obvious you and Max are very into each other, hold hands when you go out etc…) then why not evolve the relationship with Mickey into a “Beloved Ex” type of thing? If there is one thing the straights are amazed at us for it is our ability to remain close to some of our exes. I guess what my quesion boils down to is, How is what you and Mickey have different than say, my relationship with an ex, where we joke around, get along well, occaiaionally hang out and have very friendly fond feelings for each other, but not as boyfriends now? (Hmm, you weren’t kidding that your relationship inspires a lot of questions, I apparently have just fallen into that hole, LOL)

  • Fitz

    @Justin Smith: You are. You deny him sex, and laugh at his needs. You are scum. You control him, for your ego.

  • JonasJones

    I didn’t have the patience to read everyone’s judgements, but I wish you guys the best of luck. It’s not easy, I did it for a year before we went our own ways, but there was incredible energy, pain, love, emotion. Very happy that I had the experience. Best.

  • BJB

    Why is nobody naked? I want naked. I won’t settle for anything less. In fact, if there isn’t more naked at some point in these videos then according to my crystal ball, this relationship is doomed. Remove your pants. Amen.



  • Been Around

    Some random comments:

    – Ecclesistes 1:9. “There is nothing new under the sun.” Justin, people have been doing three-ways for a long time. I had three friends who did it back in the ’70s.

    – If you stick a video out there, you can expect comments, including those that are “judgmental.”

    – It’s funny to read the ones where you are warned that it won’t last. I don’t think it’ll last either, but you’re young and this is a Moment. That’s the way I look at it.

    – It’s not really a three-way. It’s Justin and Max (plus) Justin and Mickey. A gay polygamous union, like “Big Love” but without the religion.

    – I wish you neither good luck nor bad luck. To do either would be like wishing the sun good or bad luck upon its journey across the sky.

    – There is a mild BDSM element here, in that Justin is dominating the other two. If it does endure, I think that will be the key. Big question is whether the dominance and submission matches the inclinations of each individual. From the film, it looks like Mickey’s okay with it but that Max might not be.

  • John from England(used to be just John but there are other John's)


    I can’t answer for Justin but this is what I think. He’s in love with the guy and wants to be WITH him but Mickey is obv not as sexual as Justin and Max is.

    He wants to be with him.

    Have you never fallen in love with someone but wanted diff things but you still wanted to be with them?

    I think they love Mickey and want him there/around. I think they’d miss him if he went away or didn’t live with them.

    Lol, I couldn’t do it-I’m too jealous and intense as I said but for some weird reason I can see how this works really, really well. Like a puzzle, they all fit.

    I mean, damn, it’s like they are a person and each has attributes that make that person ‘whole’. Like collaborations really..

    Sweet really..

  • Agent_Cake

    @Justin Smith: Well, shit, it seems like you guys talk it out. But my mind does go down the same path Cam’s does.

    And Fitz, needs to take it back a bit. He’s at 10 and needs to be at 3. It ain’t that serious.

  • Justin Smith

    @Cam: Ha ha ha :)

    Good question :)
    Well, a hug, kiss or even the touch form Mickey is not something I can get from a best friend. The way it makes me fell is unexplainable. He makes everything better. If I am having a bad day, once he has touch hugged or kissed me it’s all forgotten. Sex is not as frequent, no. but it still happens. Falling asleep with him is the best part of my day.

    And I just don’t feel like he can be just a friend. It’s not the easiest thing to explain but it’s so much more than that

  • Been Around

    @Fitz, I think you’re too angry about this. Did you watch the same video that I did? Did you see a ball and chain around anyone’s foot? Mickey and Max are free to leave at any point. Frankly, over time I think the most difficult role is Justin’s, because both of those boys look to him for leadership. That’s not easy.

  • John from England(used to be just John but there are other John's)


    And what Mickey from the looks of him on the video is been held hostage??

    What is your problem?? Damn, people have their own ways of living you know.

    And stop throwing around these words that are so f*cking offensive-you go tell a man or women who’s just been stalked or raped or a kid who’s just been systematically abused that their predators are jus like this goodlooking somewhat arrogant twenty something who’s just living his life and in a relationship with 2 people, the SAME age who LOOK like they want to be there.

  • Max

    @Been Around: “- It’s not really a three-way. It’s Justin and Max (plus) Justin and Mickey. A gay polygamous union, like “Big Love” but without the religion.”
    It may have started that way a few years back, but I love Mickey as much as I love Justin. We each have our own dynamic with each other. Because of Mickey quiet nature, it is less obvious. It takes time for him to warm up and open up emotional to someone but we get closer and closer to each other by the day. I’m slowly even working on getting him comfortable holding hands in public, lol.
    Justin and Mickey have had 9 years to grow together emotionally which is why it shows more in the video…. that and the fact that they were sitting next to each other.

  • Crunch the Numbers

    Ok, I watched the clip. Nothing about it seems offensive of weird. These guys are 28 years old and experimenting with various lifestyles. So they are trying a “trouple”, big whoop.
    Will this work? who knows. Perhaps this is just a vehicle they are using to explore themselves and test their limits and figure out what they might want in life. Are they being controlled by Justin? maybe, but lots of times people use other people to control themselves, for various reasons. The point is I didnt’ get the impression anyone was being forced into this situation. I’ve personally never experienced a throuple (although I’ve had sex with gay couples) and likely wouldn’t want to but that’s me. The threshold in my opinion is whether someone is being abused and I didn’t get that impression. This may be one big ol’ group therapy session with decidedly nice “perks”.

    Carry on….

  • Cam

    @Justin Smith: Interesting, Well You may be more of a romantic than you are letting on, maybe you just can’t let go of the frist great love of your life, then again, what you have may be perfect for both of you. It still sounds almost like the kind of relationships a lot of us have with female best friends, there is an exchange of comfort, warmth etc… but no sex. Maybe you were too butch growing up to go out and get yourself a “Fag Hag” in High School, I don’t mean that as a jab at either you or Mickey, but your relationship with him seems somewhat similar at this point. (Don’t you just love being psycho-analyzed by people that you know nothing about so you can’t lob something similar back at us?) lol

    Lastly, With both of your boyfriends being at least part latin the part I find amazing is that you seem to say you have the biggest temper. Frankly I find that hard to believe. lol

  • John from England(used to be just John but there are other John's)

    Aaalso, re Mickey not being able to go with anyone else, I bet it’s because Justin (and Max?) think he links things emotionallly, so that in a funny way would seem like cheating but because they view sex, as sex-a sport, a thrill etc, they can get away with it. Basically they can detach themselves from the person and see it for what it is-a physical experience but maybe they think Mickey can’t.

    I bet Mickey’s like the missing link in this tri-lationship, lol!

    He’s the glue, they need him more then he needs them!

  • Been Around

    If there’s anything that bugs me about it, I’d say it’s the hype. The cute label, “throuple,” along with the promotion. I’d be more supportive if you were lower key about it. Max, how long have you been in the picture? It seems pretty recent, but correct me if I’m wrong.

    And tell us about the dominance-submission side of all this. It’s clear that Justin is the head of household, making the rules collectively and individually. How are you and Mickey with that? Trust me, I cast no aspersions whatsoever on that side of things. I am curious, no more and no less.

  • John from England(used to be just John but there are other John's)


    Those two Max and Mickey are passive agressive no doubt! They make him believe he’s in control but they have it really, which in fact is very latin-from my experience.

  • Justin Smith

    @Cam: I control my self on here. I have come to terms that we will get some negative comments and I am trying my best to be respectful. But have no doubt, my temper out weighs theirs combined 10 fold.

    I am not the kind of guy that argues a lot. I am the “drag your ass out side and beat you” kind of guy. No, this is not the most mature thing to do, but I am far better than I used to be. :)

    I would like to also say that my temper is never put on the boys. I have never nor will I ever hit either of them. All of the fights I have generally been in have had to do with defending my sexuality. I don’t take kindly to this

  • Max

    @Been Around: Ive known them for 3 and a half years. We have been officially dating and living together about a year and a half at this point.
    Justin doesnt make all the rules actually, he just has the strongest opinions. EVERYTHING in our relationship is discussed constantly to make sure that everyone is on the same page. Stupid things like Justin being the only one allowed to sleep with people, are all agreed upon by the 3 of us. I agreed because I knew it was something he had to work through mentally. That lasted a total of a month and then he was over it. Like I said earlier, I pick my battles.

  • Been Around

    – Most people who use the term “passive aggressive” have no idea what it actually means.

    – I checked out the “Throuple Life” site, and between it and this and the pictures, it looks like these three are quite the exhibitionists. Not my style.

    – Justin appears to be much taller and beefier, although from watching the video I don’t think he’s in imminent danger of being named the Commandant of the Marine Corps for his masculinity. I wonder how much of this three-way is about stereotypes within the gay world, i.e., bigger/more muscular = dominant stud.

  • Cam

    @Justin Smith: Hi Justin,

    You didn’t answer the part about the relationship with Mickey being the same type of nurturing relationship many gays have with female best friends (I hate to bring up Will and Grace, but if I must). Were you a guys guy in school and never had that? Is that some of what you get from Mickey? Because again, in some ways it almost seems like you and Max are the couple and you just happen to have a great relationship with your roomate.

  • Anonymous

    I think that, while this kind of relationship may work, the double standard of one person being able to sleep around and the others can’t, is so crazy, that I wouldn’t be able to personally do it. If it were fair and equal for everyone, then I could, but not the way this is set up.

  • Justin Smith

    @Cam: Well again, we do have sex. It’s just in frequent cause he is not that into it. No, I have never had one of those. But I seriously doubt I could get the same thing I get form Mickey forma “faghag”. I def would not put those on the same level.

    In high school I was sleeping with girls, not really befriending them.

  • Been Around

    @Max, to quote someone: “The poet knows where he is going, though he doesn’t always know he knows. He works in showing what he didn’t know he knew.” – Ned Rorem, The New York Diaries.

    The video shows Justin as head of household. It couldn’t possibly be any clearer. If you don’t think so, then you’re either deluding yourself or that video managed to be completely misrepresentative of the actual dynamics. I suspect the former.

    Your threesome’s viability, or at least the viability of your presence in it, will hinge on your ability to recognize and accept Justin’s dominance of your life. I have no problem at all with dominance and submission; I think the “50/50” (or in this case, the “33/33/33”) model of relationships is vastly oversold.

    But, in the realm of friendly advice: Know the game you’re playing.

  • Justin Smith

    @Anonymous: that was a short period of time and is no longer that way

  • dgz

    when there are “rules” that apply to one partner and not to another, it’s not healthy.

    i think it’s a very telling freudian slip that Justin (in the video) says he “coerces” people to come home.

    y’all can do whatever you want, it’s not for me to judge. but i could never be in a “relationship” where i was part of a harem, and constantly afraid of getting an STD. but that’s just me. i’m not into S&M, either physically OR emotionally.

  • Been Around

    @Justin, you’re a little light in the traditional masculinity department for me to see you as a stud, but that’s my age and upbringing talking. In any case, it’s pretty clear that you think of yourself this way. In some ways it’s justified, in that you clearly possess charisma and leadership.

    I think that the endurance of the “throuple” will rest on whether your two boys understand and accept the dynamic at play. Mickey seems to, but I’m not so sure about Max’s awareness, quite frankly.

  • sebastian

    and why these guys come up here to defend themselves?…
    someone needs self respect and real love

    cute cats though.

  • Been Around

    Another way to look at this is that it combines BDSM and polygamy, each of which are notoriously unstable. That’s why, if I were them, I wouldn’t be putting any real estate in three names, etc. But, for the moment, have at it. Hell, there’s always some talk show out there that’ll pick up on it, which seems to be your goal.

    If it happens, do the rest of us a favor and present yourselves as a departure from the usual practice in the gay community, okay? The “throuple” idea isn’t new or unique, and it’s not common, either then or now. In other words: Be the novelty that you are. Gay people have enough challenges without being tagged with this.

  • Justin Smith

    @Been Around: “Max’s awareness”: let’s just say this young man has had to deal with a lot. It has not been easy, but has been very patient. At time I have felt the same way. And to a point, tested it. He is probably the most aware out of the 3 of us

  • Justin Smith

    @sebastian: you just made Mickeys day with the cat comment. you have no idea how much he loves those cats

  • Cam

    @Justin Smith: You said “@Cam: Well again, we do have sex. It’s just in frequent cause he is not that into it. No, I have never had one of those. But I seriously doubt I could get the same thing I get form Mickey forma “faghag”. I def would not put those on the same level.”

    Well…..Justin, now I have to throw something back at you. In asking people to not make snap jugements about your relationship and what it means to you….shouldn’t you also be careful about judging the type of relationship that a gay guy can have platonically with a woman if YOU’VE never had one?

    I have two friends that I have been friends with since grade school, they are warm, funny, fun to be around, encouraging etc… They are great to bounce ideas off of or chat on the phone with. My boyfriend and I are totally hot for each other, go to football/baseball/hockey games together, he comes to my games, I go to his, we travel together, can talk all night when we are in the mood, and the sex is great etc… but sometimes I will hang out and chat with one of these girls, laugh, chat about stupid things, they know me so well because of the length of our friendship etc… and we always leave the other feeling happy, encouraged etc… Perhaps it’s the length of the friendship or perhaps it’s because they seem to be more nurturing as females etc… who knows, but it is a different type of interaction that I get from my male friends or from my boyfriend. When you describe your relationship with Mickey it sounds a bit like these.

  • Willig

    Hey Justin, I’m also in a thruple in Hell’s Kitchen. Just like what is said here, the highs are higher and the lows can be lower, but it all works out. My bf and I had been together for 11 years when the third just didn’t go home after a “meaningless” threeway. Been having lots of fun ever since. Would be fun to meet up sometime and compare notes.

  • Been Around

    @Justin, I am not talking about “awareness” as a generic concept. I am talking about Max’s specific awareness that, in your “throuple,” his role is to submit to your direction. Unless the video is one big lie — which I don’t think it is — it is crystal clear as to who rules the roost.

    Again, I am not putting any of you down for it. I do think it’s one hell of a balancing act, and that all of the odds are stacked against this enduring in a culture that frowns on polysexuality and on any departures from domestic egalitarianism, but that doesn’t mean I wish for your arrangement’s failure.

    What I do think will be key to its success will be each partner’s awareness of its essential nature, which starts with the guy in the middle of the king-sized bed. You know, the one who had told one partner, no sex outside the relationship, and the other partner, some sex, and who is sovereign about his own behavior. You know, the guy who touches both of the others, each of whom touch only him.

    Like I told Max: “Know the game you are playing.”

  • Justin Smith

    @Cam: I don’t nor have I ever related to a woman like that. I have no judgments about it. I know lots of guys that have them. But they don’t sleep next to them. They don’t kiss them in a passionate way.

    I think it’s great that you have that, but it is not what I have with Mickey.

  • Justin Smith

    @Willig: awesome, my email is on my blog. shoot me your info :)

  • Cam

    @Justin Smith: You said “@Cam: I don’t nor have I ever related to a woman like that. I have no judgments about it. I know lots of guys that have them. But they don’t sleep next to them. They don’t kiss them in a passionate way.”

    Sure they do, how many stories do any of us have to hear about our gay friends getting drunk and making out with their best gay girlfriends. But again, a few passionate kisses and proximity in sleeping arrangements don’t really make for a relationship. Again, you two just sound like exes that get along really really well and that you are each others “Emotional pit stop”.

    If this were an actual three way relationship wouldn’t Max and Mickey be sleeping together and hanging out with each other? You mentioned that Max liked to top…well Mickey’s a bottom so has Max ever “Gone there”? If not then it does seem more like you and Max are the couple and Mickey is like Grace to your combined “Will”.

  • Been Around

    @Justin, another comment about my use of the word, “awareness.” I didn’t mean it in some mystical sense. I meant it in a utilitarian sense, as a synonym for “comprehension.” And, as I wrote, I also meant it to apply specifically to the dominance/submission dynamic that is so clearly paramount in what the three of you are doing.

    You can imagine yourselves to be making your household’s decisions as some sort of voting unit of three, but that video illustrated a very different dynamic at play. I actually think it’s kind of cool, but if you don’t make it explicit I really wonder how long this can last.

  • John from England(used to be just John but there are other John's)


    You didn’t answer my question.

    Have you never fallen so in love with someone-care deelpy for them but you wanted diff things? Things that just wouldn’t make sense for you to break up with them??

    There is nothing ‘faghag’ about Mickey that I see. He looks like he clearly physically wants him, although he has a more sexual relationship with Max.

    I mean come on…

    I’ve been in a few realtionships-early stages, were the person was perfect in ALL ways but we’re not as sexual as I was. I get a THRILL from reading amazing books or from looking at beautiful art. A great conversation with the right person, can leave me smiling for days. How the F*ck can you give that up, if the person is not that into sex??

  • Been Around

    Some questions:

    – Do all three of you ever have sex together?

    – Do Max and Mickey ever have sex when Justin’s not around?

    – Does Justin have sex with one or the other when a third isn’t there?

    – Does Justin ever bottom for Max or Mickey, or in a three-way, for both?

  • MinneapolisAllStar

    How does having sex with guys in the 33rd Street Equinox bathroom work into this throuple?

    There’s a meaningful throuple and then there’s this one where two nitwits are basically sex toys for a dom top who needs an awful lot of attention. Defending yourself on blog comments? That’s one secure relationship you’ve got!

  • John from England(used to be just John but there are other John's)

    @Been Around:

    Dude come on. I think Max and Mickey ‘explicitly’ know this. Just cause people don’t vocalise things…

    Again, there is no ‘guns’ to the heads. Again, this tri-lationship has been going for years-I don’t think were the first or last people to judge or question this. And finally, again, because of this, I think Max and Mickey are pretty aware.

    This isn’t a huge mathematical problem. Just cause your quite and you smile, doesn’t mean you’re dumb.

  • Geoff M

    To each his own I guess, but I know it’s definitely not for me. This smacks of every gay stereotype I can’t stand.

  • Justin Smith

    @Cam: i dont think you are getting this one. “a few passionate kisses”? at what point did i make it sound like that.

    his very presents completes my entire day. i dont have to get drunk to kiss and have passion with my bf. in NO way what so ever does this apply to him. the fact that he is my best friend is just that much better.

    Max and Mickey have sex, yes. all 3 of us do at times. just depends on timing and ood i guess. just like everything else. despite what you may have seen in the video which is VERY short, Mickey is my bf. not just a friend. not a faghag. the love and connection between the 2 of us is unexplainable.

  • John from England(used to be just John but there are other John's)


    Man, I’m actually all the way across the pond but commenters on Queerty…wow…

    Max and Justin are tops…

  • Cam

    @John from England(used to be just John but there are other John’s):

    Hi John, I think the thing is, that in my opinion, when a relationship changes you have to reevaluate it and see if you really still ARE in a relationship. If you are just emotionally supporting one another, still have an extream fondness for the other, get along great etc… but the sex is gone, and you don’t hang out together. If you go to take a look at Justin’s blog all the pictures pretty much are of he and Max going places together, there are comments that he was sad because he and Max hadn’t didn’t get to spend as much time together when Max had a job etc… There was litterally nothing about Mickey that in any way related to his being around Justin. There was some stuff about Mickey with the cats, or Mickey’s family (In the intro section) but anything dealing with being together was written about Justin and Max, how they hold hands together, how Justing got mad because Max went out one night when that wasn’t the plan, how good a kisser Max was, pictures of them at Gay Days, the Black Party etc… all of them are Justin and Max. If Mickey had even been in 5% of the pictures I wouldn’t have come to my conclusion.

  • Justin Smith

    @Been Around:

    – Do all three of you ever have sex together? YES

    – Do Max and Mickey ever have sex when Justin’s not around? YES

    – Does Justin have sex with one or the other when a third isn’t there? YES

    – Does Justin ever bottom for Max or Mickey, or in a three-way, for both? YES

  • Justin Smith

    @Cam: FAIR ASSUMPTION: but again you would ahve to know Mickey. he is quiet and reserved. does not like his oicture taken. does not like gay events. AT ALL. he is always invited. 100% of the time. once in a while he will come. but rare. most of our time together is at home. we spend 90% of out time together at home. just not alot of pics being taken there

  • sebastien


    Hey Cam:-),

    I agree about the fact that they put themselves on cam therefore expect some criticisms. But if you think about it, the guy says so: He wanted to show what his relationship was like. He wanted to share it and he’s pretty honest about it and their sexuality.He doesn’t hide anything. He wanted us to maybe try to understand how it works from inside , to explain that ‘s how they love each other and that’s how , for the moments it works. The rules might change, or might now. It will evolve. What I don’t like are guys here slagging him off . Those people share something and get slagged off from a community who gets slagged off itself . That is not fair.

    It didn’t impose the video , people decides if they want to watch it or not.Then, if you decide to let him explain to you how it works for them, I think it ‘s not fair to slag them off afterward. It’s like asking for someone to share something and and laugh at the face of that person. He came here , on this site , to defend himself , he shouldn’t have to do that. I think it’s bold.

    No one should bitch anyone who wants to open their heart. That’s mean, that’s diminishing, that’s bullying. Simple as that. We don’t like it when it’s about us, so why would you make anybody else feel the same way.

    Those guys love each other and that’s what gets them so much shit from the gay community. We wanna party, we wanna take drugs, we wanna be cute, we wanna be free, we wanna be smooth and shiny….and when the party is over, we realised we’re alone and cold. Some deal with it, some don’t . And when we see those guys loving each other their own way, we think : That can’t be right! where’s the catch? I slept with 3 millions guys and I’m still alone! They can’t be better than me!

    Maybe there’s no catch to love. No tricks.They decided to go with their feelings , wherever that would bring them to. To go with the flow. And they are happy, relax…secured. That’s what bugs the gay community here. We tried , as well, so much to copy the straight model of love, that we forgot that , out there, there ‘s so many way to love, and each of them is great. Unique.

    Will it have a happy ending , will it end soon or no. No one knows.

    It’s that moment that counts. Those instants and the memories. At the end, we ‘ll have to face the end alone, so why not with a heart who’s been filled by love.

    Again good luck to them.

  • Cam

    @Justin Smith: You said “- Does Justin ever bottom for Max or Mickey, or in a three-way, for both? YES”

    So you aren’t the dominent top bossing around your harem, you are a bossy bottom.

    Kidding, LOL! Had to be said, was so serious in here.

  • Willig

    Justin, I think you are making a mistake by responding to some of these e-mails. You do not need to justify your relationship to anyone, least of all people who disapprove from the get-go.

  • Been Around

    @Willig, are you kidding? The only way these dudes will ever get the fame they’re seeking is if they can attract condemnation. That way, some media outlet will see “conflict” and put ’em on the tube. Hell, I bet Justin and Fitz are the same guy.

  • Justin Smith

    @Cam: LOL, ass. no, silly. max likes my butt, i have to give it up occasionally

  • Cam

    @Willig: You said “Justin, I think you are making a mistake by responding to some of these e-mails. You do not need to justify your relationship to anyone, least of all people who disapprove from the get-go.”

    Hi Will, your comment makes a good point, but remember, when a person publically hangs their ass out in public they can’t be shocked if they get spanked.

  • rudy

    Will the X-rated coffee table book be out in time for Christmas? :>)

  • Been Around

    @Cam: or flogged, as the case may be

  • John from England(used to be just John but there are other John's)


    Well, I can’t say I’ve looked at it thoroughly-I jus clicked on it…

    But I still stand by what I think in that he really loves him and wants him there.

    The issue as whether it’s fair or not, is up to the individual, as long as no one is husrt in the process.

    Again, what if you fell for someone who wasn’t as sexual as you?

    What would you do?

    The way people are talking in this blog you’d think they had actually written the ‘perfect relationship’ manual.

    I’m an alpha character. I don’t cheat, don’t do tri-lationships but hey, I’m human and some times want my own way…if the other person is cool with being bossed about, what’s the biggie??

  • Been Around

    @Rudy, I think it will have a bonus “threeple” DVD from Randy Blue

  • Been Around

    @John from England, I agree that it’s cool if the others are okay with being bossed about, but Max is telling us that the “throuple” is equal. Justin is (wisely) silent on that issue. Mickey is nowhere to be seen. Is this a thread hanging off the suit, or are we talking about mohair?

  • Willig

    @CAM, Oh, I knew there would be lots of spanking and people can post whatever they want (this is the internet), but I just think responding to some of the comments/questions is not necessary.

    I see, however, that Justin is responding to “educate.” But I guess I’m just a bit more private in that I wouldn’t say in the open how I like my sex or what I specifically do in bed.

    I think there are certain things that do not need to be said in order to justify a relationship that seems to be working for the three of them.

  • Justin Smith

    @Been Around: Mcikey would never defend himself aginst these kind of things. he is laughing about most of it, just got off the phone with him.

    of course my relationship is equal on some levels and not on others. emotion is equal. sex is given to all that wants it. i am an extremly sexual guy. what about my relationship seem not equal, specifically?

  • John from England(used to be just John but there are other John's)

    @Been Around:

    And I think it is! Just cause I boss people around or I’m a loyd mouth, doesn’t mean I’m in control! It just means I can scream, shout and intimidate-all very short term.

    Someone mentioned leadership on this blog. And this is the thing-relationships are like an organic organisation. It’s give and take. Hot and cold. Soft and hard. It’s a balancing act.

    Come on people. Have you never been in a relationship? They are complexed..

    I’ve been in a few were at the start and for a good while, I mistook silence and someone going along with me, for submission.

    I’ll say this again-Max and Mickey are the ones who are really in control.

  • H. Charmichael

    I wish that everyone would take a step back and look at this for what it is. It’s a hollow attempt at trying to justify bad behavior.

    The glorification of an arrangement like this (this is NOT a relationship) is part of the reason why LGBT people are prime-targets for the “moral” authority. This is the sort of fodder that the community doesn’t need.

    I support everyone’s right to do as they please – but this is Circuit Party Celebrity at it’s lowest moment.

    The fact that no-one in this situation is monogamous (even within the confines of this ‘throuple’) makes me laugh…

    Hopefully each of them will go out into the world and try to do a little something more than promoting their sex-life…

  • Drew

    Oh my! This is like Big Love! Except, that instead of having a loving father,alpha wtf ever we have here a deranged Roman character.

    As stated by other commenters, why is Justin constantly trying to defend the relationship if he is so cool with it? He nearly replied on every dissenting comment. Smells like fame whoring.(btw there is something totally psycho in his eyes…did you see that too?)

    And the blog…omg! Tasteless.

    May you grow, may you prosper.

  • Been Around

    Having already done way too much to give this “throuple” more attention than they deserve, I hereby sign out of this thread.

  • Agent_Cake

    @Justin Smith: The more this crazy firing squad of questions go own the more this thing kinda makes sense to me. Like Cam said your blog is very much so you and Max focused. But that makes sense now because you’re very much in love with fucking and we blog about what we love doing. But as an outsider with only the blog and these vids to go by it does paint a picture that Mickey is red headed step child in the corner surfing the internet for the latest in cat fashion. Which makes your relationship seem lopsided.

    But if what you say is true Mickey is just a home body and the blog and the video present only a distorted view of your threelationship.

  • sebastien

    @Been Around:

    Why do you want more that what ‘s being said alreay in that vid and by the explanation of Justin here?

    None of them are on trial as far I can see. what the hell is wrong with you?

    You think one of them is badly treated? Did we watch the same vid or what?

    You distort something, you twist a situation until it screams!

    Nothing that Justin might say or do will ever convince you because you don’t wanna be convince, you just wanna have a go at him. Despicable…

  • John from England(used to be just John but there are other John's)


    “Mickey is red headed step child in the corner surfing the internet for the latest in cat fashion.”



    I know! Funny that…I think Cam was the one that mentioned about people projecting their own fears/insecurities/etc about their past relationships and attitudes on to peoples relationship..

  • sebastien

    It just came to my mind that I might have fallen in love for those…never spent so much time blogging about something here..:-)

  • John from England(used to be just John but there are other John's)

    Another thing that I’m sure will be ignored BUT this isn’t a gay thing-it’s a human thing.

    The diff is gays are more honest about this the straight people.

    People choose to live in a make believe world. People have arrangements all the time.

  • Derek

    Why anyone, particularly gay men, would be judgmental about this relationship is beyond me. They’re having fun. Some people love to be bossed around, anyway. Duh.

  • John from England(used to be just John but there are other John's)


    Laugh all you want, that’s what Justin says on the blog! But I guess to be a top you need to be, er butch and big?? lol!

  • Colby412

    It’s funny that Justin keeps saying the relationship isn’t about sex, yet he admits that when he was in the relationship that he was having sex with at least 5 guys a week outside of the relationship. Who needs sex from “partners” when you are getting it elsewhere?

    A couple of observations…

    Justin has a HUGE ego and is probably a sex addict. He needs sex to feel good about himself just like some people need alcohol or drugs.

    Mickey & Max probably stick to Justin because they probably get more attention and guys by using their connection to Justin. I’m sure both M&M have had hotter guys when Justin has been in the mix than they would have ever gotten solo. Mickey and Max aren’t all that cute.

  • Freeballer

    Justin — nice to see a video about loving relationships. I hope the next video will be posted on X-tube!! *grin*

  • Justin Smith

    @Buddy: Max would have you saying “ouch ouch, please stop” insight of 4 thrust. you def underestemate people

  • Justin Smith

    @Colby412: you are dead on about the EGO, but way off base about the boys for sure.

    5 times a week now = sex adict? thats once a day? people jo more than that. i am just having other people do it for me

    i think addict is alitte severe

  • Oh the Pointlessness Of It All

    Here is the money quote from the video: “People think this is a lot more interesting than it really is.”

  • Oh the Pointlessness Of It All

    Have fun guys, but don’t make any long-term plans. Just sayin’

  • Cam

    you know one other thing that occured to me while I was on break “At the gym coincidentally enough, how gay of me”.

    Something that seems like it could happen in a threeway relationship is that it could mask a problem that needs to be dealt with. If all of these guys are 28, and the sex has really really diminished betweeh Justin and Mickey…to me that would be something that would be dissected in a couple. Justin seems to be saying “well that just happened, not sure why”.

    At 28, you should NOT have a completely dinished sex drive in that it is so unusual you masterbate that it is actually something to make fun of. I can think of four friends of mine where that happened in their relationships.

    In two of them, it turns out that they still got along well, but that one partners interest in sex with THAT partner had waned, and he just wasn’t up front enough to actually break up, they still loved each other but that part of the relationship was over, it was just tough for them to break up because they liked each other, never fought etc…

    In the third one, it turned out the other partner was overtired and although he didn’t seem it, was clinically depressed.

    In the final one the guy had some medical issue that had severely lowered his testosterone. He got that taken care of and his sex drive snapped back.

    I think my point is that, in this relationship, Mickey’s interest in sex has dropped severely, in a two person couple I think this would have been looked at more closesly however with Justin just being able to go out and find somebody else…since it wasn’t interfereing with his sex life it was allowed to just become a part of the relationship. There should be some explanation as to why a 28 year old is now hardly ever interested in sex when that wasn’t always the case, I know that I sure as hell would want to know if it was my boyfriend.

  • Oh the Pointlessness Of It All

    Mickey’s the cute one.

  • aletorro

    I saw the whole video and I can say four things about this throuple:

    1- All three of them are young, horny and maybe lonely.
    2- They do care about each other, but they’re not inlove (except for Mike who loves Justin). Why does he puts up with all that? See #1
    3- They all have a deep friendship, not a throuple or a relationship. When you find someone you love (and this word/feeling shouldn’t be taken lightly) I can assure you the last thing you want to do is share them.
    4- Justin is a manwhore. Nothing wrong with that! We all are. But he’s hot and if you were dating you’ll probably agree with his terms. The blame is not on him, is on whoever accepts it.

    Now, I’ve had three relationships in my young gay life (I’m currently 25). My second relationship lasted 5 years and was with a guy who was 3 years older than me. He cheated, since day one, all the time. Eventually I started cheating, needless to say the relationship took a hit. Several times I suggested to open our relationship and do threesomes or group sex in order for both of us to stop cheating and start having “fun” together. After a few encounters things got worse, we both started fighting with each other more because if he didn’t do something to me that I saw him doing to someone else, then I got upset, “why you do that to him, when you don’t do it to me?”

    Usually my partner “finished” first, as soon as he did he wanted me to stop playing. I didn’t. He had his fun and I wanted mine. He usually stormed out and big drama followed. After I “finished” I started feeling upset remembering how this other person touched my man and I let them. We broke up a couple of times and yet we kept getting back together and doing the same mistakes. The reason we stayed together it was because we were lonely and we were used to one another, which I think is exactly what goes on with Justin and Mike (or at least Mike). I also had self-image issues and didn’t think I could really get anyone better.

    Eventually we broke off, I moved to another country and started dating, sleeping around etc. Eventually I met the man who’s my partner now and when he asked me how I felt about open relationships (while we were dating) I thought I was going to lose him, so I felt if I’ll be honest, cause even if I lie I’ll lose him either way. I told him I was against it (a truth that I learned the hard way). He was so glad and surprised (I was 23 at the time). Two and a half years later, we are together, we are deeply in and there hasn’t been any need for a third person nor to open that subject again.

    Yes, sometimes he looks at guys and so do I. And I’m sure he sometimes wishes he could sleep around, so do I, but the important thing is we don’t. Having those thoughts is normal, everyone has them. But acting on them is different.

    Justin, Max, Mike, everyone, if you are on a real relationship and feel like you want to have sex with someone else, watch some porn and jerk off, or even better yet have sex with your partner. As soon as you “finish” you’ll be glad you did.

  • Oh the Pointlessness Of It All

    I don’t think Justin is even remotely hot.

  • eb

    who cares what these listless apathetic trailer trash guys do? straight, gay, or mixed, who cares. the threesome isnt the problem. the three of them are. i think this video wasnt made to ‘answer questions’ people were asking, i think it was an attempt to validate their b.s. couples do the same thing, so im not turning this post on the three-ness, but on the 2 dimensionality of the subjects. who cares, and why does queerty post crap videos like this so often? its getting old.

    im shocked anyone would be shocked by this… with the sheer number of superficial daft gays in our community, im surprised more of them arent into quasi relationship with multiple partners. i mean all the bathhouses amount to one large multi-partner relationship anyhow… im mean thats the same as what i saw on here…

  • John from England(used to be just John but there are other John's)


    I have to say I agree.

    Though some people can still have a low sex drive…. :-/

  • John from England(used to be just John but there are other John's)


    Don’t hold back! What a sweet pea you are.

    Hugs! :-)

    (I hope you say this on all the straight sites too!)

  • Justin Smith

    @aletorro: Thank you for that :) nice story.

    If my fucking around ever hurt Mickey I would have stopped. This has never bothered him. Truth be told I think he was thankful someone took some of the work load. LOL

    Also, we were monogamous for 5 years before opening it up. I guess in our particular situation it works for us. I can see that the problems you have we did the opposite. Every once in a while Mickey would ask me about my encounters and I would tell him about things that guys wanted me to do to them. Then we would be together sexually in his own way would hint he wanted me to do that to him. HOT!!!

    I guess sexually it not a big deal for me. I don’t really feel like I am sharing them. Sex is fun. Why shouldn’t they get to have these experiences? On the emotional level however, that’s when I can get jealous. That’s not allowed.

    @Oh the Pointlessness Of It All: yes you do, dont be silly

  • Cam

    @Justin Smith: you said “If my fucking around ever hurt Mickey I would have stopped. This has never bothered him. Truth be told I think he was thankful someone took some of the work load. LOL”

    Well something changed, he used to have a sex drive, and now he is a 28 year old with very little sex drive. Honestly you should get that checked out. This is either a situation where he is no longer really into you that way, he is possibly depressed, or there is something going on with his testosterone levels. a 28 year old man who formerly had a normal sex drive, with a minimal sex drive now is not a normal situation. That should be looked at.

  • Justin Smith

    @Cam: It was a slow decay, it was not sudden. Mickey is happy. I am not sure if I can make that any clearer. He is happy. We laugh all the time. We smother each other with love and kisses. Literally. He is a marathon runner. Gets up on time for work and is getting promotions left and right. He is not depressed and luvs his life with Max and I. this is the happiest I have ever seen him actually. Just because this one aspect if he is different from me I should have him checked out? I refuse to make him thing there is something wrong with him. He is a perfect, wonderful, happy man. What’s wrong with that?

  • eb

    wow, i just realized you have a whole blog dedicated to your relationship. what a boring life. i hope youre doing this all for publicity so you can more easily transition to your desired porn income levels.

    your lives bore me. and queerty is becomming more like perez hilton.

  • sebastien


    this is excatly the kind of term who piss me off :”who cares what these listless apathetic trailer trash guys do”

    Why the f*** do you have to talk about people like that for god sake!?

    Fuck man, they didn’t hurt you or anyone, they ain’t trash!

    Have some respect man, grow up!

    Do you have to get on Judge Judy to learn some manners????

  • Justin Smith

    @sebastien: you are an amzing person. in all seriousnes. be happy you have this mind set. you be like @eb:

  • aletorro

    @Justin Smith

    You know what, call me devils advocate or something, and my experience is not everyone else’s experience, so I hope it keeps working out for you guys.

    To everyone else has a difference of opinion, I’m glad you’re being respectful, to those who are not being respectful, this could be you soon (maybe not in a throuple) but posting something else. They came out and did this, you can disagree – as I did, you can share your views on why something may be happening or not – as I did. But calling them trash won’t make you any classier.

    Best of luck guys!

  • Oh the Pointlessness Of It All

    @Justin, sorry, but you and Max leave me limp. Mickey’s kinda cute in a “I’d like to screw his mouth” sort of way.

  • Cam

    @Justin Smith: you said “@Cam: It was a slow decay, it was not sudden. Mickey is happy. I am not sure if I can make that any clearer. He is happy. We laugh all the time. We smother each other with love and kisses. Literally. He is a marathon runner. Gets up on time for work and is getting promotions left and right. He is not depressed and luvs his life with Max and I. this is the happiest I have ever seen him actually. Just because this one aspect if he is different from me I should have him checked out? I refuse to make him thing there is something wrong with him. He is a perfect, wonderful, happy man. What’s wrong with that?”

    I’m saying that it isn’t normal for a man at the age of 28 to not have a sex drive. You seem to be making this about you. It is irrelevent whether or not he smothers you with kisses and seems happy. I’m saying that there may be a medical issue there. Why would getting a regular check up from a doctor with a blood test for hormone levels, cholesteral etc.. (Something that every man should be getting) be so offputting to you. Does going to the dentist to get your teeth clean mean that you are somehow a disease infested pariah with a mouth like a cows ass? No, it is a normal part of life. If he is a 28 year old man with no sex drive I would think as somebody who loves him that you would at least want to make sure it isn’t anything medical. If the test come back normal, great and at least you know that you cared about this person in your relationship to make sure they were as healthy as possible. If something IS found then you were a caring boyfriend. Justin, you are old enough to know you can’t just skate though life licking a lollipop and singing about sunshine and unicorns. Part of loving somebody is also looking out for them.

  • Oh the Pointlessness Of It All

    @Justin, why are so you afraid to find out that someone isn’t attracted to you? Honest, the only one of the three of you who’s interesting is mickey. He’s why I watched the video.

  • Oh the Pointlessness Of It All

    But don’t worry, Justin, you’ve still got Max beat. Not that it’s too difficult.

  • Justin Smith

    @Cam: So now we are having a debate on what’s normal? Who is normal these days? Seriously?

    Lets just say I work our from time to time. If his testosterone levels were dangerously low he would have a severe lack of energy all together. You are talking about a guy that runs 15 to 20 miles at a time 3 times a week. He also goes to the doctor 4 times a year for check ups. He is a tad obsessive about his health actually. Physically there is nothing wrong with him, or any part of him for that matter.

    I get where you are coming from, but to think that I would put his health in danger for my own sexual gratification is just “way off base”. No way.

  • Oh the Pointlessness Of It All

    @Cam, don’t try to lecture Justin about responsibility, empathy, or consideration for anyone other than himself. You’d sooner convince a dog to become a giraffe.

  • Justin Smith

    @Oh the Pointlessness Of It All: serously? LOL dude, do you think anyone on here, me included, takes anything you have said seriously? NO. you are just some added humor at this point. my comments are sacastic.

  • Freeballer

    Justin — if it works for you three, good on ya mate. It took courage to have the video posted. With you three hot guys, I’m hoping the next video posted is on X-tube!!!

  • sebastien

    Let me tell you this, my parents stayed together for 28 years . Making their life miserable, day after day , hour after hour because that’s what people were doing back then. They had to fulfill everyone’s expectations and stick to the model given. As a result my mother ended with healt and mental problems and my father became a raging alcoholic. they divorced now , age 67 years old and live like tramps and made my life and the one of my other brother miserable. In their misery they hurt people, their sons, their families. But at least they did what others asked them to do , no?

    Yes, in Justin’s couple , there are things who might sounds weird or shocking to some. But look at them. Do you really think they would invite anyone if things were going so badly.

    One said here, they were not in love. What did you want from them? hang around with a rose in their mouth?who can judge in 12 minutes who’s in love and who’s not? We don’t see them on a day to day basis.

    Maybe they hold back their feelings because they talk already about all the rest .

    Yes, Justin acts like an alpha male, but that’s who he is , and that’s what they might love in him. They don’t seem to worship him or act like slave sex drug fucked to the bones for crying out loud!

    I value every model of life where love is the link. Their rules are not written in stone, if one of them want to discuss the issue of him or him being more open, I am sure they can do it.

    They stay together because they bring surely something to each other and not everyone here can say that. I am single in a city of 9 million people where the crowd make you feel sometime more alone than ever, so if I had what they have, i would certainly be the most happiest guy on earth. gay, straight , bi, thai, we all want the same.

    People being happy are not trash. People wanting to share their experience are not attention whores.

    I think there is something to learn about them. they might live in the instant…So what? Isn’t it what everybody does on a one night stand? Does that make you less capable of love ?

    They build something, instant after instant, moment after moment . That’s what I call sharing…

  • Oh the Pointlessness Of It All

    Notice that Justin now thinks he’s a doctor. Cam pointed out the obvious, which is that it’s not normal for a 28-year-old man to lose his sex drive, and that he should be checked for low testosterone. What does Justin say? “Can’t be true. He jogs a lot.”

    Yeah, it sounds like Justin really looooooooooooves his boys. Yup.

  • Cam

    Justin said “@Cam: So now we are having a debate on what’s normal? Who is normal these days? Seriously?”

    Oh NOT with the PC “What is normal” now YOU know as well as anybody that there are physical parameters that are within normsl for a human male of the age 28. So enough with THAT nonsense. lol

    @Justin Smith: you said “He also goes to the doctor 4 times a year for check ups.”

    Now THAT comment makes sense. I’m glad to hear that he has been checked out…and the fact that he runs up to 20 miles several times a week well that right there pretty much answers the question! After a long jog I’m dead to the world.

  • Oh the Pointlessness Of It All

    @Justin, if you’re going to be a “master,” do it the old fashioned way. Find a leather club. Read some books. Talk to some people. Don’t rely on one guy’s depression and (maybe) medical condition, and another dude’s self-delusion.

    Put the turd right out on the table where everyone can sniff it. Tell ’em that you’re the master and they are the slaves. Have the courage of your convictions. Then I’ll respect you, but in the meantime you’re a manipulative POS and your “boys” are in trouble.

  • Shae

    That is strange…..watching this vid the Justin guy gave more affection to Max and Mickey was setting farther away and it seemed like Mickey was put off by them….i dont think i could ever do this because i would be a jealous sob.

  • Buddy

    @Justin Smith:

    and you can’t spell.

  • M Shane

    Seem clear at this point that people are reading a lot of their own deficits and expectations into a relationship that seems to be very functional and happy all around. People play different roles which seem to be well defined and nobodys getting screwed. People get their minds suck in steriotypes of “proper behavior”, not what works in fact . Think of all the incredible number of dysfunctional Heterosexual pairs. I think about the many people who stay together ‘for the kids” and hate each other.

    Sounds like it’s good! Congratulations. Sometimes “out of step is the only dance in town, Only you woun’t get much applause”

  • Oh the Pointlessness Of It All

    By the way, exercise usually INCREASES testosterone levels, so if Mickey’s doing all that running and his sex drive is still zilch or close to that, it’s all the more reason to have him specifically checked for it, and screened for depression. Not that Justin gives a shit. He’d prefer it if Mickey’s mental and physical condition were impaired. Makes him easier to manage, manipulate, and control.

  • Cam

    @Shae: hi Shae, Justin has said that isn’t the case, but I have to admit I did get the vibe that Mickey wasn’t liking being there. then again, maybe he didn’t want to make the video. And I have to say, it would have been more interesting to not have everybody lying all tangled up, but rather wearing clothes and talking about it. It’s kinda hard to take seriously in an educational etc.. way when it’s presented like that. I mean we’re gay, we see guys without their shirts every day. I think (No offense intended Justin) that that is the circut party mentality coming through.

  • Justin Smith

    @Cam: yes yes, he is SUPER healthy. at the same time, i am really into health and fitness. i know my way around the body. i dont smoke or drink. i am pretty particlar about my health. and make sure both of the boys are always tip top. i tear up at the very thought of something happening to them.

  • sebastien

    I did some pretty bad mispelling too…Are you gonna spank me too?

    I ‘ m a french living in London and one day I’ve been called “Mexican maid ” by a guy in here because of my ….You guys are the really the symbol of the tolerance in USA…:-{

  • Oh the Pointlessness Of It All

    (sniff)(sniff) Justin “tears up” at the thought of “something happening” to “the boys,” one of whom has for years exhibited a classic sign of serious mental and/or physical malfunction. What a jerk.

  • Oh the Pointlessness Of It All

    @Justin, you’re reading every word of it. You know I’ve got your number, and you’re doing what a certain sort of douchebag always does. Do you also run the local Log Cabin Republican club? You show every sign of tinpot arrogance.

  • Justin Smith

    @Shae: @Cam: This was Mickey’s idea to let a friend of ours do this for his school project. Truth be told, Mickey was working, hence the lap top. When we made this we didn’t thing it would be on line like this. Swear. But, here we are haveing the worlds longest blog convo ever

  • Buddy

    @Justin Smith:

    I find his comments funny. Justin, you don’t seem to like it when other people get some attention. Keep it up Oh The Pointlessness of it All “_

  • sebastien

    @Oh the Pointlessness Of It All:

    you got other cheap tricks in your bag , man?

    Any other medical opinion on the situation?

    Why not calling the cops on him? You could do that, no?

    You seem so worry. Let’s get real, man. you are the one here with a big issue about it . you go after him post after post, so what’s the problem in your life who makes you act this way. What hurt you so much that you ‘e mad after the guy.

    Share it , go on…

  • aletorro

    @Oh the Pointlessness Of It All: Dude, seriously, what’s the big deal? They are ADULTS! Mickey should be taking care of his own health, if he has a problem he should speak up. No one is a mind reader. It could also be that after what, 7? 8? 9? years sex goes “bad” (as in infrequent). It happens in all relationships as time goes by.

    How are they working on it? Well a a throuple and the eventual trick. You may not like it, you may not respect it, but why do you keep attacking him/them? They made these decisions as adults they are, no one is being brainwashed here.

    So please, close the window and step away from the keyboard. If they did this to share it so people would understand them or open up the subject for discussion, then discuss, debate, don’t attack.

    If they did it to get attention, then if this reason bothers you so much why are you giving it to them!

    You can be disgusted if you want, it’s your right, but don’t go around insulting/attacking anyone. You wouldn’t one a conservative/heterosexual person attacking you for sleeping with men, would you?

  • Cam

    @sebastien: you said “I ‘ m a french living in London and one day I’ve been called “Mexican maid ” by a guy in here because of my ….You guys are the really the symbol of the tolerance in USA…:-{”

    Sebastian, be careful, I know that often Europeans take advantage of American’s distance from other countries to try to make blanket accusations about our levels of tolorance however not all of us don’t know how things REALLY are in your country. The fact that Harkis from Algeria who were French citizens were parked in filthy camps in your country for ages with no government assistance, the fact that during les trentes glorieuses, immigrants from the former colnies were hired due to the French thought that they wouldn’t complain if they didn’t receive the same rights as white French people, The fact that your police routinely call the darker skinned citizens “bougnoules” which I won’t even bother to translate here because of the shitty nature of it, nor the fact that your country fairly recently had to declare a state of emergency to try to quell weeks of rioting by minorites who are French citizens taking place in nearly 300 different French cities because of what they said was the racism and exclusionary culture of French society.

    Now, see, we could just as easily attack you by assuming that France is completely intollerant based upon those facts, but I like to that that we here are a bit more evolved than that and wouldn’t just lash out at an entire nation through ignorance.

  • Oh the Pointlessness Of It All

    Yup, Mickey’s not in many pictures on the blog because he hates cameras, and he spends most of his time at home. He’s lost his sex drive before the age of 30, and he’s just fine with his circuit-party boyfriend bringing another “boy” into the house.

    Nah, there’s no problems there. None in the world. Why should there be? Justin’s got himself one slave, nailed to the cross with what are likely chemical imbalances, and another circuit-party submissive who likes the muscles.

    Wow! Yum!

  • sebastien


    I didn’t assume anything , i simply pointed that people was using cheap tricks here when they don’t have anything to say.

    “you can’t spell”, what does that mean?

    What I said about being called a mexican maid here is true. Isolated incident surely, but it happened nonetheless.

    On top of that, I would say that in Europe we wouldn’t call anyone “trash” “douchebags” or whatever the guy took since he arrived on this blog. Maybe you live in the country of Perez hilton , but acting like him does make the things seem very vulgar to me …

  • Oh the Pointlessness Of It All

    @Aletorro, at first glance the whole thing is harmless, but if you stop for a closer look at this “throuple” you see what a slimy douchebag Justin is, and what losers his “boys” are. It’s pathetic. We’ll all live, but someone might as well call it what it is.

  • Justin Smith

    @Oh the Pointlessness Of It All: Yea, it’s like this screeching violin, can you hear it? It’s kind of got this faint/old sound to it. And when you hear it you an almost smell formaldehyde? No? Anyone? Ok kool

  • aletorro

    @Cam: Cam, yes because the immigrants in the US are treated so fairly. Because here immigrants get all the opportunities to become legal citizens. Because most americans did want a black president. Because social rights (gay/race/faith) here are so up ahead. Because the US doesn’t turn a blind eye with the palestinians. Because a an U.S. born citizen of muslim faith can be president. Because gays can serve the army and get married and sponsor their partners.

    The USA that you knew before, it’s not what it is today. It’s sad, I still love this country, but it does need to change. France may not be perfect, but France is not the empire or world leader that USA is.

  • Oh the Pointlessness Of It All

    By the way, how about the crystal? All those pics on the blog tell me that Justin and his boys are, at minimum, familiar with that scene. Whether they partake is another matter. Justin, as the family fuhrer ‘n spokesman, got anything to tell us about your “PNP” habits?

  • sebastien

    @Oh the Pointlessness Of It All:
    Do you realise how violent your words are or do you act by pure provocation?

    you need counseling man, seriously. You are making of fool of yourself right now.

    You come here insulting everyone because you are hidden somewhere in a shithole somewhere behind your keyboard and you wouldn’t dare talking to anyone like that face to face. You are the one who has an issue.

    Being anonymous doesn’t prevent you to be vile, believe me.

  • Jason

    oh who cares.

  • sebastien

    @Oh the Pointlessness Of It All:

    and to know the look of crystal, you might have had your share ,didn’t you?

    That might be an explanation …

  • Oh the Pointlessness Of It All

    Justin likes to call his critics “screeching violins,” and is incredulous that someone might have a look at him and that laughable tattoo across his back — tell me, does “JUSTIN” stand for “Look At Me?” — and not be turned on. Congrats on the slaves, Justin, but not everyone wants to be one. Yeah, really.

  • Oh the Pointlessness Of It All

    @Justin, believe me, you care. You were hoping to draw a fan club here, and it is royally pissing you off that people are seeing your act for what it is.

    @Sebastien, the circuit-party world that Justin and his Hell’s Kitchen boys inhabit is a very long way from mine. There’s a reason for that. I don’t hang with the druggies, ever. What makes you love these characters so much, anyway? Want to be Justin’s third robot, maybe?

  • Cam

    @aletorro: You missed my point. I get tired of people who try to assume that because the U.S. has problems that means that nobody else in the world has problems, As somebody who has lived in other countries in Europe I can tell you that the racism there is seering. Remember, the U.S. is the only country left in the world that gives citizenship to anybody born here. Try going to France and see how long it takes to get citizenship. He made a point about America as a whole being intolerant because he had a bad experience on a blog. I merely pointed out that France has a terrible history of tolorance and for him to try to accuse the U.S. of being intolorant comparably was ridiculous. Again, as somebody who has lived overseas, your comments about the U.S. are the comments of somebody looking out from the inside. Trust me, immigrants here of the legal nature get a much bigger welcome than you do when you try to go to France. That is why the people immigrating from Eastern Europe skip France and head to Holland or England. That is why France just had riots encompassing hundreds of cities. etc… Again, I was pointing out that he was being ignorant and attacking an entire nation based on the fact that somebody on a blog made fun of his spelling, to me that is being more judgemental than the guy who insulted him.

  • Ricky

    I just finished the article and am now waiting to go home to view the footage.

    I have to say firstly, I find it an odd coincidence that I stumble across this when not even 48 hours ago I happen to catch something on MTV about Polyamory. Some ‘True Life’ special I believe.

    I will be honest and say I was a combination of embarassed/intrigued by the whole thing. Growing up in a society that has idolized not only heterosexuality but monogamy as the only absolutes to sexual/emotional unions, it was very refreshing for me to watch this.

    I really try to be open to all ideas, thoughts, emotions so on this.. I congratulate you guys.

    With this in mind, I still grapple with the actual physyics required, at least to me, seem like they are so far advanced for any one person alive today to actually make an arrangement like this work.

    Who knows, this could be my ignorance talking.

    Nonetheless, kudos to trying something different.

    Ayn Rand vocalized it best with her theories on the difference between rational self-interest as pursuit of one’s own life and happiness in reality, and whim-worship or “hedonism.”

  • sebastien

    @Oh the Pointlessness Of It All:

    did he say at any point that he wanted people to become one?

    did he preached his lifestyle at any moment during this interview?

    You are obsessed by him. the guy didn;t talk to you in any bad way since you started your little “cosa nostra” against him.

    You saw a guy on a vid , became enraged because of him, trashed him, insulted him , judged him and assume things about him with 12 minutes of him on a sofa while they were chilling after a meal?


    I was wondering what it could be like to be in the head of a stalker the other day while i was watching a movie. I know now.

    Rage and non-sense!

  • Oh the Pointlessness Of It All

    @Cam, it’s fun to watch you give it back to Sebastien. I’m a fan of France as a tourist. Great food, nice people. But when they’re rude and pissed off, watch out. They freeze up and try to swat you away like an errant mosquito. It completely wigs ’em out when someone stays in the ring, punching, as Americans tend to do.

  • aletorro

    @Cam: Cam, you are right yes France does has issues when it comes to that. So do many other countries, I wasn’t implying France is perfect (which I think you know that), but the deal with the U.S. is how I said, it’s the world’s leader and there’s a lot of unfairness here, that’s why it’s in the spot light. I know you didn’t mean harm, neither did I.

  • sebastien


    By the way, I don’t live in france anymore….I’ve been in UK for the past 7 years now …Don’t know why yo talk about what it is in France…i didn’t praise France or UK, i said that in Europe, on gay blogs, we don’t insult each other or slag people off like you do here….

  • John from England(used to be just John but there are other John's)


    Cam, I’m from Europe. You guys are light years ahead of us when it comes to being intolerent. You actually CREATE your own warped worlds about people’s lives.

    The march calling a black president a Nazi? Are you guys INSANE? Judging someone on a blog because of their relationship, when you have straight people killing, beating or making your lives hell every day??

    This would NOT happen in Europe on a gay blog.

  • Oh the Pointlessness Of It All

    @Sebastien, I’m not obsessed with the threeple. I’m commenting in one thread on one blog just for the hell of it. Which is what you are doing, and Justin is doing, and everyone else here is doing. My presence here is no more or less valid than anyone else’s. No one is entitled to his own cheerleading section. If you put your story out onto the Internet, you’d better be prepared to take some crap from people who aren’t in rapture over what they see.

  • Cam

    @aletorro: Agreed, that was my point. That he made his comment about all of America based on one comment on a blog, yet when I handed back the comment to him, with much more all encompassing information covering his entire country he jumped all over me said I was like Perez hilton etc… That is the issue, many Europeans think that it is somehow chic to come over and critize the U.S. but heaven forbid any of us know any of their countries dirty little secrets. As for your comments about America, not to sound like Pollyanna here, but things will settle. They always do, there’s always a few loudmouths (or as the boys in the clubs would say “There are always queens on the rag” ;) ) But don’t let it get you down.

  • John from England(used to be just John but there are other John's)


    Ha, ha. Surprise, surprise Sebastien! I’m UK based too. Exactly.

    Queerty is like this bad sitcom that sometimes seduces you in-the commenters are the stars, they are soooo crazy! It’s really anthropological.

    There is nothing more fascinating then watching/hearing minorities really judge each other and attempt to bring each other down.

  • aletorro

    @Oh the Pointlessness Of It All: So that means you are bored and don’t really care for what you’re saying, you are just saying it for your own entertainment?

    Yes, when people post things online, they shouldn’t expect everyone to agree with them. But disagreeing doesn’t mean being disrespectful, and you my friend (á la McCain) are being completely disrespectful to them. You can disagree, but as I said earlier, have some class.

    I disagreed and wished them the best, no more, no less. I ask you again, what would you do if you had posted something with your partner there and you had people trashing you for being gay? Not disagreeing, but making the same comments to you that you’ve been making to them (Justin, Max, Mickey)?

  • John from England(used to be just John but there are other John's)


    Rubbish. Utter rubbish.

    I’m an equal opp when it comes to calling people/nations out. You guys-gays in the US, are so disparate that it’s no wonder Obama is stalling.

    I’m not talking about your intelligent comments but some of the other stuff on this post and actually this blog. This is why you can’t be mobilised, you don’t have people who look at each other as being connected…nor linked.

    Also, some mean, meeeean people.

    My idea of relationship with more then one person would NEVER happen but come on??

  • sebastien

    @Oh the Pointlessness Of It All:
    You called him a douchebag, them pathetics etc etc… and you call that “blogging. Funny how it sounds innocent to you and how I think it’s bullying and provocation.

    did it occured to you , one second that while the guy answered to you with respect, you could have done the same. That maybe being called pathetic can hurt someone.

    Would you like to be called a pathetic low life because you don’t live the same lifestyle of others?

    If this is how americans treat each other, then you ‘re far away from winning the battle for prop 8 . And from here, I donated for your campaign becasue , silly me, I think sometimes that you guys can change the world …

    Have some respect when you talk to people. Life is not a Jerry Springer stage, man.

  • Cam

    @John from England(used to be just John but there are other John’s): John, you have to be joking. There were a few people here calling Obama that…yet in Europe you actually have former natzi’s who have become heads of state…or did you forget about Kurt Waldheim? You have the husband of your queen CONTINUINg to make racist comments, Britain has more violent crimes involving stabbings assaults etc.. than any ten American cities. Once again, you can insult America all you want, and we absolutly have our problems here, but one thing you have to remember, things that we would find shocking about your country are probably things that you slag off as just normal because you are used to seeing them every day. In a recent BBC poll nearly 50% of people in Britain thought that immigration was ruining the country, additionally an ICM study shows that racism in the workplace is a major problem in the Britian with almost one in three blacks and Asians saying they believe racism has cost them the chance of a job. So perhaps as a white person in the UK you have a different view of how tolorant your country is than you would if people were calling you a “Paki” everyday when you were trying to catch the bus.

  • Oh the Pointlessness Of It All

    @Cam, that’s funny about the dirty little secrets. On my 10th or so trip to Europe, it finally clicked that regardless of where you go in Europe, someone’s going to really hate someone else. The key as an American is to figure it out and then use it. Once I realized it, I played with it. Loads of fun.

    Try it sometime. Next time you’re in Milan, make a passing dig at the sloppy southern Italians. Next time in Scotland, go on about the stuck-up English. The possibilities are truly endless.

    Anyway, back to the main subject here, which is Justin. That tattoo is making me laugh the more I think about it. It’s a permanent vanity license plate etched into his skin. The guy has an ego the size of the Grand Canyon. Makes his a great American, I suppose, but I’m not real sure I’d want to depend on him for my emotional viability. Oh no.

  • Cam

    @John from England(used to be just John but there are other John’s): you said “I’m an equal opp when it comes to calling people/nations out. You guys-gays in the US, are so disparate that it’s no wonder Obama is stalling.”


    John, I like reading your posts on here, I really do, but please don’t use the excuse of a few blog posts as to why an American Politician isn’t living up to a campaign promise. Trust me, not living up to campaign promises has a LONG and unfortunatly illustrious history over here. Additionally, for tollorance sake, when was the last time any European country elected a minority as it’s head of govt. So see, it’s like the song from the show “The Facts of Life” (You take the good you Take the Bad)

  • sebastien

    @John from England(used to be just John but there are other John’s):

    I just didn’t get why the guys from that vid got treated like dirt by some and I hate intolerance.

    same yesterday with kanye west. the guy is one of the only Hip hop black artist to support gays and because he cocked up at the MTV awards he got called names everywhere on US blogs….after he apologized!!!

    Bush went to war and killed thousands and thousands of civilians but it was anti americans to say anything about him. “Let’s trash celebrities who support us and guys in 3way relationships…After that, we ‘ll go on Madonna’s website and call her a bitch!”…

    Where are the priorities?

  • ninethickinches

    I see Justin and Max out frequently, but rarely with Mickey. If Justin happens to read this, I was the one that you and Max took turns blowing on the dance floor at the Black Party since I was bigger than you – both cock and body. We all were rolling our asses off. Not throwing stones ’cause I really liked it. I’m just telling it like it is.

  • John from England(used to be just John but there are other John's)

    @Oh the Pointlessness Of It All:

    No, you have issues. You don’t have to be so reactionary and offensive.

  • Cam

    Shit, it’s late, I’m actually glad Queerty posted this! It’s been a great discussion starter! Everybody have a good night. Justin, seems offbeat to me, but hope it all works out. Everybody else, have a good night!!

  • Cam


    Oh you’re kdding! Just as I’m leaving THIS bit of info gets said. LOL!!!!

  • Oh the Pointlessness Of It All

    @several of you

    What gets me here is the dishonesty of what Justin is doing. His first lover clearly has real issues. Maybe clinical depression, maybe a testosterone deficiency, maybe something else. With both of them, he’s playing a game of dominance. He’s got an enormously outsized ego to go with it.

    All of this would be quaint ‘n fun if they were out front about what they were doing, but the three of them seem to be protecting their tender selves with a bunch of euphemisms and rationalizations. That’s the main issue for me, plus what may well be some pretty serious problems for this poor Mickey fella.

    If you really think it through, I think the whole picture is more than a little warped.

  • ninethickinches

    Chelsea here. It’s true. I know it… they know it. There’s only so much I can take reading without keeping it real. They are fun guys, we all enjoyed ourselves.

  • Oh the Pointlessness Of It All

    @ninethickinches, the new info is interesting. Not so much the dicksucking at the club, although it does raise the issue of crystal, given that this is classic crystal-driven behavior, but more the rare sightings of Mickey. Once again, between that and the low sex drive, I think it’s very fair, and even required, to ask what’s going on there. I’m not buying Justin’s “homebody” explanation. Not when you’ve got a guy in his 20s whose sex drive has all but disappeared.

  • sebastien

    Time for me to go …gonna watch the reapeat of Doctor Who- Season 3- episodde/Gridlock.

    Glad I took Justin ‘s side, he seems a lovely and decent guy. don’t care about some other thinks…

    John from London good night Mate and hope to see you soon:-)

    @Oh the Pointlessness Of It All:

    Be more respectful man. You got everything to win by doing that and you ‘ll get other people respect.

  • Willig

    @Oh the Pointlessness Of It All: YOU MUST BE KIDDING

    Tell me what possible qualification you have, aside from projecting your own feelings, that you can clinically diagnose someome from a 10 minute video??!??!?! Let me tell you, you have NONE!

    Why don’t you just let it go? We all get that you think this is icky and that something is wrong with all of them. Fine, we get it.

    This is my last post, becasue the conversation is no longer going forward but repeating itself or going off track.

  • Oh the Pointlessness Of It All

    Justin’s got himself a fan club. A house slave, a fellow circuit boy, an enthralled Frenchman, and Willig, among others. Let’s all check back in a couple years and see where they are. Something tells me it won’t be together.

  • ninethickinches

    @Oh the Pointlessness Of It All: Not providing anything more than I’ve said. It would be speculation at best by anyone but the three of us. It was a fun night. We all enjoyed every inch of each other..and they have their fare share of inches too. They are hot. They are fun. They are enjoying themselves.

  • aletorro

    @Oh the Pointlessness Of It All: Dude:

    1- when I was single I blew guys in clubs, bars, sex clubs and I never, not once did drugs. Maybe they did, maybe they did not, but don’t act all saint and holy. Everyone has done it at least once.

    2- Why do you even care what they do or what Mickey does? seriously let it go.

    3-How is Justin being dishonest? I for once think he’s completely honest. He’s not cheating on either one of them, they’re all in it together. If Mickey or Max had a problem with it they could leave!

    And I’ll join the ranks of Willig and this also be my last post. This is going no where and I honestly think you’re writing all this crap just to keep yourself entertained. Get HBO, seriously!

  • sebastien

    I want to go but some here are pissing me off.

    Because they shove their index in some guys ass that bloody makes them Doctors.

    They talk about those guys being on drugs. Not any drugs, noooooooo. Crystal, nothing less. Thank god for that, the anti drugs special unit and highly trained is here on Queerty!

    It clearly says that they had that chat after a meal. A frakking meal where maybe they had wine, or gin and tonic, or whatever the hell they want to drink , it’s their frakking home !!!!!!!!!!

    Surely now, some are gonna say they’re alcoholics! especially “Oh the pointless of them all” prat!

    now a guy comes here and they “he sucked me off”..By the way, well done mate, you are a total prat and maybe the blood who pulse in the veins of your nine inches prevent the rest to go to your brain and respect the privacy of others.

    WHY SOME HERE ARE SO JEALOUS OF THOSE GUYS ???? Because that’s jealousy we talk about here!

  • sebastien


    you re not only a nine inch, you ‘re a total dick !

    you come here and vomit what could be a total lie or a even worse, a truth that you should keep to yourself.

    Why don’t you go on the Ricky lake circus and talk about it while you’re at it.

    I hope no one get their cock suck in the shit trap that you have instead of a mouth , because I wouldn’t their private life ending up in a cheap TV show for you to get your 5 minutes of fame.


  • sebastien

    Good night and good luck for your rights in USA . So far and with this mentality, I won’t give a dime for your future campaign once more. what i read here seriously put me off .

    what a great window of tolerance tonight…

  • John from England(used to be just John but there are other John's)


    Lol, ‘ninethickinches’!

  • Oh the Pointlessness Of It All

    Ah, so now we’ve got the makings of a cult, with Sebastien and Aleterro going on the warpath against anyone and everyone who disses their sex hero. I wonder how they’d be reacting if they didn’t think Justin was attractive, or if the ages were different, or if everyone was fat. Of course, in those cases I doubt Qweerty would’ve highlighted it.

    In fact, I wonder how this one got to Qweerty to begin with. Someone’s been doing quite the hype job here, complete with fan club!

  • John from England(used to be just John but there are other John's)


    I didn’t say things didn’t happen HERE. I just said that you guys are INSANE.

    Call a spade a spade.

    And yes, I did fall for ‘wow’ America is really showing progess electing a black pres but pleease, you guys fool no on.

    Like Jo Wilson said ‘You lie…(boy)’.

    Pretenders. But irrationally so.

    Again I was talking about a gay blog.

    My bet is that you kill your pres. Lol, it’ll prob be some gay guy!

  • jeff

    The word “hypocrite” comes to mind after watching the video. This Justin character doesn’t want to be judged and wants us to see the deeper meaning in his relationships, yet on camera he judges some guy named Diego as being ugly and makes a crack about his head. Huh? We are expected to be opend minded and see more deeply into Justin’s “love” but he is so shallow as to attack someone because they don’t fit a physical ideal? Diego goes to Columbia University? Good for him. Maybe one day you can sell some furniture to David and earn a big commission.

  • Shannon212

    I’m new to this thread and from the looks of it 6 people have been going on and on all day. I wish I had your jobs. How do you guys do it and still earn a paychek? As for this Justin guy who the fuck is selling the furniture? You really are defending yourself a lot. Hmmmm. Not as comfortable as you would like us to believe. You doth protest too much.

  • aletorro

    @Oh the Pointlessness Of It All: I guess I lied when I said that was my last post.

    Yes, I think Justin is very attractive, but I haven’t defended him, I have defended THEM. Plural. Max and Mickey aren’t my type at all.

    I don’t care if someone disagrees or agrees with them. Guess what? Read all my comments, you do know how to read without people high-lighting the most important things, don’t you? I’ve said in almost every post that I DISAGREE WITH WHAT THEY’RE DOING! I have just called you out on being disrespectful and insulting.

    “if their ages were different.” Oh… hum.. My partner (and I don’t use that term lightly, we are in a domestic partnership) is 16 years older than I am. If they’re fat? I could care less, I like big guys (even though my partner’s not, but hey, the heart wants what it wants). So stop being paranoid, ignorant and disrespectful.

    I’m not joining any cult, but If I were I would rather join theirs than yours.

  • dfrw

    I couldn’t even make it through the second clip. I would like to have those minutes back please. =)

  • J. Clarence

    I think it’s funny that people said they thought a “throuple” is disgusting, as if its vomit or something. It’s just a relationship.

    All relationships, sexual or others, can work if you figure out the the specific mechanisms to it. So that’s not really a hurdle. The question is whether or not everyone is getting their needs, and if they say they are (and there are no visible signs of abuse) good luck to them.

    People create ‘unique’ relationships all the time so it shouldn’t be surprising that a group of people would develop this type of relationship. As for whether or not it is natural, we have to remember that early man lived in tight groups having sex with everyone.

    The only issue I would have with this is if it comes to benefits, because then I think the state as a larger social interest. I think there further scrutiny would be required.

  • John from England(used to be just John but there are other John's)


    Poor you. How about thinking about having all those mins back when Dubya was your pres?

    Come on, get a grip.

  • John from England(used to be just John but there are other John's)


    I’m freelance!

  • edgyguy1426

    @Justin Smith: I have no right to pass judgement about anyone elses relationships- for all I know these guys might be ahead of their time and this is what relationships might look like in the future (like it or not.) If i don’t want people telling me how to define relationships, I don’t want that job myself, thanks.

  • Oh the Pointlessness Of It All

    My comments are about THIS “throuple,” not all of them. THIS “throuple” is all about a guy who’s got his name tattooed on his back in big letters; who refers to “his boys” as “this one” and “that one”; who has claimed the power over the sex lives of “his boys” while retaining the power over his own; who has essentially ignored clear warning signs of serious dysfunction on the part of his original partner.

    If Justin and “his boys” had gone on camera and made it clear that they all understand what they are doing — that Mickey’s a slave and Max is being groomed as one — then I’d say something like, “Good luck, astronauts, but be sure that Mickey gets checked out for depression and low T.”

    They can bullshit themselves to their heart’s content. I won’t lose any sleep over it. I’m only talking about it because Qweerty is one of the sites I’ve got bookmarked, and I have the day off, and the whole story grabbed me sort of like a car crash beside the highway.

  • schlukitz



  • schlukitz

    I had no idea that we had so many people names Ann Landers in the LGBT community. ;o)

  • schlukitz

    Typo: Named

  • John


    Jeff, I thought the same thing. The steroided guy is a hypocrite. He is superficial enough to call that guy Diego ugly, but he doensn’t like it when people judge him and let’s be honest his not so goodlooking bitches.

  • Steroid Mary

    It is a bit weird how some guy who is, in all honesty, average (Justin) looking, takes some steroids (or growth hormone as they call it now) becomes “officially hot” and then ask people to take him seriously. And the so called “alpha male” is sucking dick on the dance floor and getting plowed by his “boys”?

    I give it a few more years, when the steroids shrink his nuts to the size of walnuts, his dick won’t work and he reverts to the bottom he is destined to become. Trust me, the “boys” will be flying the coop asap.

  • Oh the Pointlessness Of It All

    Hey, I lift weights too and am just as big as Justin. I don’t take steroids, and I don’t think Justin does. His blog says he takes creatine, which is a perfectly legal supplement sold over the counter that has most of the benefits of ‘roids with few of the downsides.

    I don’t think there’s anything wrong with getting yourself buffed out. But I don’t think it’s some ticket to instant hotness either. Believe it or not, there are people out there who are not interested in bodybuilders. I laughed at Justin’s incredulous reaction to my statement that I find Mickey more attractive than him or Max. It genuinely didn’t ever enter his mind that some people wouldn’t fuckin’ fall on the ground worshipping him.

    Justin’s issue ain’t steroids, it’s arrogance, self-centeredness, and an underlying dishonesty about the nature of this “threeple” or whatever they’re calling it.

  • Just My Opinion

    I have been with my partner for 12 years…since we were 18. I’m a little older than these guys but I have to say I just don’t get it. My partner and I have been monogomous for 12 years and due to that monogomy we know we have something pretty special that should be cherished. If we were spreading ourselves out to everyone then we wouldn’t have anything that single guys have. We are lucky to have one another. I couldn’t imagine ever wanting to share.

  • Oh the Pointlessness Of It All

    @Caleb, how do you know?

  • Oh the Pointlessness Of It All

    Let’s just hope Justin doesn’t decide to take HGH (human growth hormone). Dirty little secret of HGH is that it also causes internal organs to grow. Ever pick up a muscle mag and see those way buffed out guys with the muscular but bulged out abs? That’s a telltale sign of HGH: Their livers are bloated, and pressing against their abdominal wall.

    They’d probably make for some great foie gras in the backwaters of Papua New Guinea, but back here I think they look pretty fucked up. Stay away from the HGH, Justin.

  • Caleb123

    No need to worry about the religious right when you have yahoos like these guys. Trash like this threeway doesn’t help us get closer to marriage equality. Why did these jerks feel the need to let it all hang out? I don’t carewhat you guys do just keep it to yourself. Sad to see that your egos are more important than the bigger picture. Hope your 15 seconds was worth adding ammunition to critics of gay marriage.

  • Oh the Pointlessness Of It All

    One more comment before I head off to the gym. (ha!) They are calling this a “throuple,” but if you scan through Justin’s inspid, self-centered blog, you learn that this is really the Justin Story from start to finish.

    The blog is about him and his life in a three-way, complete with faux compassion toward Mickey and Max for the difficulties of sharing a boyfriend (Justin), and complaints about the stress of him having two boyfriends. Max ‘n Mickey, are you listening? This is not a “throuple,” it’s polygamous slavery and submission.

    At least have the self-respect to tell yourselves the truth.

  • edgyguy1426

    There are always exceptions to the rules. Caleb did you really say just keep it to yourself? How many times have you heard or seen the phobes say “I don’t care what they do behind closed doors, I just don’t want them to rub it in our faces” SAME DAMN THING

  • blackjack44

    i was a little suprised to see this because i thought I was the only one (lol) but Im 24 and have been the “alpha male” of a throuple for about 4 years now and it works out just fine. We all know the guidelines and we get along great. there are 3 different personalities but it makes for lots of fun and great sex.

  • Just My Opinion


    I think Caleb is right. This kind of attention isn’t going to help me get any closer to marrying my partner of 12 years. It plays into what conservatives think about us. Other than wanting to be reality stars I don’t see what these guys are looking to gain.

  • Please

    This is harmless. I was expecting something totally different than what I got. First, they are all queens. No alpha male present. Justin may be butch compared to the other two, but that ain’t sayin’ much. They’re friends/sisters who have sex. It will end when one or more finds an actual top and/or they are financially (and emotionally) secure enough to move on.
    Seriously, this is harmless….Let them have fun

  • .-. .- - .. --- -. .- .-.. / --. .- -.--

    Justin seems such like a Kanye YUCK!!!

  • Oh the Pointlessness Of It All

    Who’s not “letting” them have their fun? All we’re doing is bitching about them.

  • Justin Smith

    @blackjack44: dont bother with some of them, they are not wanting to understand nor do they care. i am so happy that your is working out. i would luv to hear more

  • Justin Smith

    @Caleb123: this is just as bad as the people that want to keep us form getting married. same kind of selfish comments they are making. surly you see this? being gay in general is frowned upon as well, how about we all “keep it to our selves”?

  • michael

    I think having a 3 way relationship is great if you can make it work. What I have a hard time is why someone would want there private life made so public and once it is made public then why are these cast members posting comments on this web site? There is a lot of narcissism going on here and these guys are all obsessed with how we perceive them. So much for just putting something out there and allowing the audience to get from it what they get from it. No, I must go on these blogs and correct peoples perceptions, I must tell people what I think of their opinions. I must tell people to not call my boys “bitches”. If I were these 3 guys I would use all this to take to the shrinks couch. And boys, bitches, whatever you call yourself, you cannot control peoples thoughts, your act might not be conveying things the way you want it to but when its all being shown in living color people see what people see. Personally, I find them boring as hell and unless the reviews get better I have seen enough of this side show.

  • Justin Smith

    @Steroid Mary: @Caleb123: for all who think that i am on steroids, LOL. this is truly hilarious. i will be happy to take an blood test you like to prove other wise. even better, come introduce yourself. since you see me at your gym. i think its funny how someone of you (you know who you are) see happiness and then pull and point out as much negativity as you possibly can. this is who you really are.

    yes, my blog is my story, i am sure i made that clear in the beginning. but it is balls out honest. it points out plenty if not all of my faults. it also expresses love. did you read that?i am sure you skipped over that part. it completely depicts how much i care these amazing men. again, i am sure you missed that as well.

    the double standard was a short period of adjustment on my part. i needed some time to adjust to having this person in my life. it was a matter of a month people. THERE IS NO DOUBE STANDARD on any level of our relation ship. it was something i needed at the time and Max loved me enough to deal with it.

    this vid was a favor for a friend. we did this for some project he was working on. none of us put this on the web. he did, and of course after reading your comments has done nothing but apologize. there is no need for that. yes, there are those of you that find the bad and and EXAGGERATE it as much as you can. but there are 10 times more that have emailed me or commented on here that are supportive and even thankful.

    thank you to all that have had some positive insight. i have certainly answered some hard questions that i have never even asked my self. great learning experience.

    to the rest, well, i doubt there is anything i can say to help you understand, seeing how i dont think you ever wanted to in the first place.

  • Drew

    Shut up Justin! You are hogging the comments, jeez!

  • boytroy

    @Justin Smith: Justin, you have got to be the most insecure individual I have come across in years. Your constant need to explain yourself, correct what others think about you, defend yourself, etc. etc. etc. and more etc. pretty much invalidates what ever this con is that your trying to sell, or maybe your trying to con yourself. I don’t believe for a minute that the three of you just did this for a friend, I am with Michael, its just a pathetic, narcissistic need to be seen. If you guys were more interesting it might have been a brilliant idea that could have taken you to some sorta pseudo celebrity status and made you a little cash. But don’t quit your jobs just yet, well at least the two of you that have one, cause I don’t think your going to be paying the rent with this crap. But then I could be wrong because it seems like people are so brain dead these days that they are willing to pay to watch paint dry.

  • Rachel (No, I'm not lost)

    The best of luck to all three of you. There’s nothing more beautiful in the world than people in love, and I count myself fortunate that I’m either naiive enough or open-minded enough to see just that. How your relationship works is none of my business, nor anyone else’s but your own, but I’m glad you shared it – despite the tedious cynicism. I don’t think it’s at all narcissistic or whatever, I think it was about time someone showed us what a relationship like this can be like. So yeah, best of luck in everything, and I hope you all stay at the very least good friends.

  • AlanInSLC

    I think it is silly how everyone (well nearly everyone) seems to doubt the validity of their love and the ability for this type of relationship to work. ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE. You just need to have an open-mind and the right approach and attitude. I’ve often wanted to find myself in a relationship such as this. Lucky guys if you ask me. I hope your happiness continues.

  • Cam

    @John from England(used to be just John but there are other John’s): you said “And yes, I did fall for ‘wow’ America is really showing progess electing a black pres but pleease, you guys fool no on.”

    Yes, thats right, all 300+ million of us got together and decided to elect a black president to play a joke on Europe and fool you into thinking that Americans would actually elect a minority.

    The sad thing is, that many in Europe are SO set on not looking at your own problems by saying things like “America is so intolorant etc…” that Obama being elected threw a wrench into how you see yourselfs. An Indian would NEVER get elected in Briton, a Turk would NEVER get elected in Germany, Sweeden, Norway, etc… a Gypsy would NEVER get elected pretty much anywhere in Europe, an Algerian would NEVER get elected in France. So we are sorry to rock your world, but your using a few posts on a blog to try to pretend that America electing a minority was somehow not anybody’s intention shows that you are much more interested in continuing to live in the world you think exists rather than the one that does. England does not have legal gay marriage, the U.S. has it in several states. YOU have registered partnerships, which is another one of those Separate but equal deals. So sure, we have places like Mississippi where we have nothing, but we also have places like Iowa, Massachusetts etc… where we have more. So again, sure the U.S. has it’s problems, but stop trying to pretend that your own countries are the land of rainbows and hand holding with no troubles whatsoever.

  • jason

    This “arrangement” is no more dignified than the man who enters a relationship with two wives. Let’s be clear about this: it’s an arrangement, not a relationship.

    They’re entitled to have their threeways but please don’t sully our beautiful gay rights notion with their excesses.

  • armyguy

    hellos, I came across your story online and im very impressed. I must say, if it works kudos to you and your partners. Being in a relationship for great years myself, I have thought of having another partner join our relationship. More so, out of curiosity. I believe i would rather be in a throuple rather than an “open” relationship. but then again thats just my opinion. *cheers

  • allstarecho

    So they are in a polyamorous relationship. Big deal. Next.

  • Oh the Pointlessness Of It All

    @Justin Smith, so now “my boys” are “these amazing men.” I’m not sure I have ever seen anyone who used “I” as much as you did in your comment #281. Do you ever get tired of yourself?

  • Trey

    @Justin Smith

    I don’t have a problem with your relationship per se as what goes on between *consenting* adults behind close doors is not mine, nor anyone else’s business. And therefore, I think much of the negativity directed at the three of you for the fact that you are in such a relationship is unjustified. However, given the current dialogue/debate in America with regard to same-sex marriage, I do think putting this type of video out there for the public is somewhat irresponsible. Despite many on the right having a deeper history of polygamous relationships, it is our community whose similar types of relationships are used against us as justification in denying equality.

    Courtesy of Bill O’Reilly and others on the right, a constant message is hammered to the public, “what’s next” scenarios; “if two men can get married, then why not three men? two men and a woman?, a man and a duck?”. These disingenuous questions are played out ad naseum by many of our foes on the right to scare the public into voting against our equal rights as if we are collectively fighting for gay rights, “throuple” rights, animal/human relationship rights, etc. That is obviously not the case, but must somehow be an effective strategy else they would not continue using these domino affect arguments. You may not hear them as much in NYC, but in many parts of the country, in talk radio, the internet, cable news, etc capitivated audiences here these points without counterpoint. Even in the Obama’s DOJ brief defending DOMA similiar arguments were made.

    While as a throuple I suppose it is not your burden to fight for gay couples’ rights. However, at the same time, as members of the gay community and as individuals who may one day decide a couple relationship is for you, I would think you have a vested interest in this debate and may want to consider that this video/your website maybe harmful to a cause which may affect you, and at a minimum probably affects many of your friends. And perhaps it is somewhat of an overreaction, but as someone who lives in the Texas (Dallas) and would very much someday enjoy the privelege of marrying my partner, my immediate thought after reading the headline and watching the video was, “Oh great, here is more ammunition/another example for the far right to re-inforce their scare tactics and advertise gays as fighting for throuple rights”. And just as you say the video does not accurately portray your relationship, neither would the far-right.

    Those are just my thoughts; take them for what they are worth. None of us are perfect (least of all me), so it is not my intention to come off as condescending in the least. I do respect you Justin for at least being honest with Mickey and Max.

  • Oh the Pointlessness Of It All

    @Trey, save your breath. Do you actually think that Justin ever gave, or ever will give, a flying fuck about the consequences of his actions? Can there possibly be any doubt that it’s all about Justin?

  • edgyguy1426

    What if in the future, assuming the gay marriage thing becomes a reality nationwide, a movement starts to allow marriage of multiple partners… who is going to stand in their way? Well, certainly the crowd that’s standing in our way now.. do you REALLY want to join THAT crowd? Homophobes will draw their line in the sand when it comes to marriage and we say “you have no right.” If we are to get marriage equality, are we going to be the ones that tell 3 (or more) people who want to enter into a marriage (which, really is a contract) “you have no right?” I won’t be that person. Hypocritical

  • edgyguy1426

    @Just My Opinion: please. For every one of these male 3somes, you could probably come up with many times the number of men/women arrangements. And if this makes your struggle for marriage equality more difficult, remember: it’s not the fault of people who love; it’s the fault of people that hate. Don’t lose that focus.

  • Oh the Pointlessness Of It All

    @Edgyguy, the biggest constituency for “plural marriage” would be in Utah, Idaho, Nevada, and Arizona — Mormon country — and we aren’t talking about gays. The other big backer would be lawyers. Just imagine the complexity of divorces. It would be the Attorney Full Employment Act. Oh, the fees!

    We’ll know that Justin is “serious” about his little admiration society when, in addition to handing out chastity cuffs to “my boys,” he prevails on them to execute contracts that share all property three ways, including Justin’s interest in his current and future income from the furniture sales job and any other job he might have along the way.

    Folks, do we hear the sound of crickets chirping?!

  • Cam

    @edgyguy1426: you said “What if in the future, assuming the gay marriage thing becomes a reality nationwide, a movement starts to allow marriage of multiple partners… who is going to stand in their way? Well, certainly the crowd that’s standing in our way now.. do you REALLY want to join THAT crowd? ”

    Just because two groups agree on one suject you can’t assign them as partners in all they do. I may agree that rapists should be locked away. A crack smoking prostitute who breaks into pharmacies to steal drugs may also think that rapists should be locked away. My agreement with her doesn’t mean that I am also supportive of pharmacy break-ins.

  • Bob

    I envy them because it is working for them. My partner and I have added a third to our relationship twice in the many years we have been together. The first was when we were in our twenties and our third was 18. We loved him so much but after about a year he wanted to spread his wings so we had to let him fly. The second one ended in June of this year after only three months. It still hurts. It can be a wonderful thing but it can cut your heart out when one decides to walk away.

    Good luck guys! You have the time of your lives!

  • Justen

    3way relationships are every bit as valid as monogamous ones. The idea that somehow the opportunity of achieving same-sex marriage means that people with alternative relationship should go into the closet is hypocritical at best.

    I support both same-sex marriage AND Polyamorous relationships. Any functional loving family should be supported. It’s obvious there is a deep affection among these 3 guys. We’re silly not to encourage it.

  • Oh the Pointlessness Of It All

    @Justen, “Every bit as valid,” you say? So you’re all in favor of the Mormon cult colonies where the guys have five or six or 10 wives, then?

  • The STFU Gay Man

    Thanks for the material, you three.

    Pointlessness, I’m a bit of a bitter homo myself but you really take the cake. Please settle down and stop lashing out at everyone. And your strawman arguments are awful. Justen clearly is not talking about abusive cult relationships. Jesus.

  • Oh the Pointlessness Of It All

    @STFU, so the idea is that as long as they’re gay and (to muscle worshippers) hot, then three-ways are just as valid as everything else, but if they’re among hetero Mormons then they’re icky and nasty? What are the criteria for distinguishing validity?

  • Buddy

    @Oh the Pointlessness Of It All:

    Good point. How many of these guys on here who support this threesome support mormons or cults with multiple spouses?

  • The STFU Gay Man

    @Pointlessness, you are a troll. I never, ever fucking said, implied, or attempted to say anything you JUST SAID. You are just looking for attention or something because for the love of shit there’s no way someone can be as stupid as you.

  • Oh the Pointlessness Of It All

    I can think of one distinction: No kids. Maybe we should support throuples as long as they don’t produce or acquire children.

  • Oh the Pointlessness Of It All

    @STFU, at least I don’t have a whole website that gives these people shit. If you have a problem with “trolls,” go complain to the nearest mirror. Sheesh.

  • Oh the Pointlessness Of It All

    @STFU, I mean, come on, what you wrote about them on your website is every bit as judgmental as anything I’ve written here. Who are you to complain?

  • allstarecho

    @Buddy: Count me as one who supports mormons or cults with multiple spouses.. if it’s consenting, fuck everyone else.

  • Oh the Pointlessness Of It All

    @Allstarecho, do you know what those cults do to their kids? Do you know how young many of the “brides” are?

  • jason

    Like I said, if you want to have a three-way relationship, go right ahead. Just don’t count me in.

  • jason

    Being gay doesn’t mean you are automatically intelligent. This was brought home to me when I encountered couples on the gay scene who announced to me with some pride that they were in open relationships.

  • simon

    Open-mind is simply code for “I can do anything I want without regard for the consequences or for my health or for the hurt feelings I have caused”.

  • Oh the Pointlessness Of It All

    @Allstarecho, do you think that the hundreds of young men who were kicked out of polygamous households because they were in surplus ever “consented”? Look, if gay threeples get “valued,” meaning qualified for marriages, that opens the door for the return of polygamy to Mormon America.

    Want to know the difference between Mormon polygamy and the little game that Justin, Mickey, and Moe (or whatever his name is) are playing? The Mormons are serious about it, and I guarantee that you won’t like what arises from it.

  • schlukitz


    Being gay doesn’t mean you are automatically intelligent. This was brought home to me when I encountered couples on the gay scene who announced to me with some pride that they were in open relationships.

    This would imply that you are automatically dumb if one is in an open relationship?

    By that same logic, one could just as easily say that you are dumb for choosing a redhead for your partner as opposed, oh, let’s say a brunette, for sake of argument.

    Your “argument”, if you could call it that, just simply doesn’t hold up to scrutiny.

  • schlukitz


    Open-mind is simply code for “I can do anything I want without regard for the consequences or for my health or for the hurt feelings I have caused”.

    Your analogy and “conclusion” is based on the fallacious assumption that “I can do anything I want”, that “I am practicing unsafe sex” and that “my partner does not know what I am doing.”

    Ergo, your conclusion is meaningless because it is not based on empirical evidence to substantiate it.

  • Akien MacIain

    @Oh the Pointlessness Of It All:

    That’s like saying because you killed someone in a war that you’re going to kill indiscriminately when you get home. Not at all a fair comparison.

    So let’s see if I have this right, society at large 50 years ago was rabidly against homosexuality, as a deviation… And also against other nontraditional arrangements like triads. But now it’s OK to “deviate” as a homosexual, but not in any other way? That doesn’t make any sense either.

    The farther you “deviate” from standard models the more work it takes to make things work. The broader we can make the standard models (as in homosexuality is now much more accepted than 50 years ago) the more freedom there is to love in whatever way moves you.

    Personally, I think that love that does not do harm should always be a good thing. Even if it take more work. Or political activism. More love makes our society stronger.

  • edgyguy1426

    @Oh the Pointlessness Of It All: “I can think of one distinction: No kids. Maybe we should support throuples as long as they don’t produce or acquire children.”

    Sounds like it came right out of a straight homophobes mouth- just substitute gay couple for throuples and you’ll see the hypocrisy there.

    J.F.E. – at least we elected our leader and not just a lapdog to one

  • nonlosobella

    I don’t care what anyone says. These men are paving the way for the rest of us who are involved in polyamorous relationships (which is MANY people by the way). Thank you for making yourself vulnerable to criticism. Your heroism is greatly appreciated in the poly world! As for all haters, fuck them.

  • Oh the Pointlessness Of It All

    As for all haters, fuck them.

    I’d need to see your picture before deciding whether or not to accept your invitation. But thanks anyway.

  • Oh the Pointlessness Of It All

    I see that the “throuple” website now has a photo of itself taken by Wilsonmodels, which works for what’s left of various gay media. This whole thing has been part of a publicity stunt, a grab for Justin and his slaves’ 15 minutes of fame. Ha ha ha!

  • rudy

    @Akien MacIain: I think it’s wonderful for consenting adults to experiment with relationships or spend their lives in bars or bathhouses, whatever – but if throuples, quadrouples or quintouples gain momentum and notoriety as equal rights issues when heteros do not allow polygamy for themselves, the entire basis for Marriage Equality collapses.

    Do you think a country that can’t stand “Heather Has Two Mommies” in the library will make room on the shelf for three?

  • Brant

    I don’t think that a 10 minute video is a good basis to judge an entire relationship, one way or another. I wish you guys the best, and hope you’re all able to work through everything. Poly relationships are definitely hard to make work, but it looks like you’ve got a lot of potential and you can work through everything that comes up.

  • AxelDC

    This is pathetic. Justin is obviously the control-freak who got bored of Mickey and so picked up with Max, but doesn’t have the compassion to dump Mickey, so he just strings him along. Max is the twink who lets Justin dominate him, and Mickey is the ex who doesn’t realize his relationship ended long before Max came in the picture.

    From our little tableau, we see Justin toying with Max, Max enjoying it like a puppy dog, and Mickey desperately wanting attention from Justin. The whole time, Justin calmly explains how he dominates both of their lives, and justifies it by claiming that they are too stupid to run their own lives.

    This isn’t a “throuple”, it’s a one guy with two overlapping relationships, who wants to dominate them both even though he has clearly moved on from Mickey to Max.

  • Julio

    @AxelDC: This seems a bit harsh. Why is that your opinion is necessarily true? How do you know what their relationship is really like.

    It is really a shame that people go on and on about how relationships and people are by how it looks from the outside. What about the days when gays were flamboyantly weird, like the village people, or people (gays and lesbians) mimicked the attributes of hetero relationships (femme and butch). If a person in those days looked at things from the outside, they would see people who looked strange. i know i did.

    It is the same now, poly folk, whether gay or straight, are different and will always look different from the outside, where people don’t know what is going on. But to judge based only only on that is to be a bigot, like the racists of old, just judging by skin color. I can’t imagine anyone here wants to do that.

    As for the argument that these people are like Mormons, how many actually know Mormons and their faith? Polygamy was outlawed by them years ago. And what Justin and his partners, and other poly folk, are practicing is not plural marriage, per se anyway. It is a complicated plural love relationship.

    For those who don’t know, in most poly relationships, people have choice and do not have to be slaves to one dominant male. They get to often have other partners as well, which you will never find in polygamy, btw. It is a ridiculous fallacy, and it is another shame that such ignorance is running rampant.

    The point here is for those who love one another to be together. This is hard, however one slices it. One relationship is hard, more people just makes it harder exponentially. Why does it have to become such an issue? If people want it and they are consenting adults, not under-aged women with no prospects like in some situations in the polygamy we like to hate, why is it a problem?

    Could it be that some people have a problem with others finding happiness when they have not? Or that it is not fair or right for some people to be happier than others?

    If Justin and other like them are doing something that works for them and they are not forcing others to change, and no one here is getting abused, and it is not illegal, what is actually wrong with this picture?

  • rudy

    @Julio: “What about the days when gays were flamboyantly weird..?”

    That has always been the tricky dance of gay and lesbian politics.

    You don’t get anywhere in politics by emphasizing your differences. In our case that means building bridges to the way larger heterosexual community.

    On top of that, with each political success, as we take advantage of what is no longer off limits to us, we become even more like the majority culture. Gays raising children may end up having as much if not more in common with the straight couple in the bungalow next door that with a Chelsea gym bunny or a club kid.

    This has happened to every ethnic group in the US. Usually by two generations, all that remains of your “heritage” is eating what grandma used to cook once or twice a year when the family gets together on holidays.

  • Oh the Pointlessness Of It All

    As for the argument that these people are like Mormons, how many actually know Mormons and their faith? Polygamy was outlawed by them years ago.

    The main Mormon “church” (actually more of a business cult, but that’s a different story) ditched polygamy in return for Utah’s admission to the Union and the federal government dropping a plan to seize all of its assets.

    Mormon doctrine, such as it is, still enshrines polygamy — in the next world. In this world, unofficially, polygamy is much more widespread behind the Zion Curtain than is reported. The breakaway sects like the Fundamentalist Mormons are only the tip of the iceberg.

    The reason that Justin and “his boys” can’t practice plural marriage is because gay marriage is illegal outside of a few states, and plural marriage of any kind is illegal everywhere. Justin’s desire for equal respect for his kink would logically lead to gay plural marriage, although I think once he and “his boys” faced the legal ramifications they’d lose the courage of their convictions pretty quick.

    The Mormons, on the other hand, have a long history of polygamy, and if it were legalized you would see a major change in the social fabric of the Western United States. Trust me, polygamy as practiced by the Mormons is not any sort of freedom, and would not in any way lead to more tolerance or acceptance of gay people by them.

    The short answer is: I know a lot more than you do about the Mormons in general, and specifically about their involvement with polygamy. Justin and “his boys” can do whatever the fuck they want on their own, but they are playing with fire when they go public. They don’t want to be judged? Oh please.

  • Ian

    My boyfriend and i think that it is great that they are so open and honest and actually have the balls to go out there and open themselves up to the bile that many of your are spewing.

  • David

    They are adorable! I recently separated from my boyfriend afeter eith years. But, the only thing I wanted, actually, was a third person to spice our every year sex session… : (

  • theWholeTruth

    @ Oh the Pointlessness Of It All & @ Fitz

    i’ve seen both of you post all the time all over these blogs on here and
    i have to say that both of you are
    nothing but huge jack asses, period.
    It is pointedly clear especialy for OhTheP.OfItAll nut-job
    that you both are very LONELY,
    AND desperately in need of attention
    and will say anything to get it.
    It is also clear that you both are quite unhappy
    and spread your VENOM around in an attempt
    to make others unhappy as you both are.
    fucking grow-up, grow a pair
    and take responsability for your own unhapiness and do something to change it instead of just spreading your crap around on here, you douchebag scums.
    Gay, Str8 or Bi, both of you are shitty examples of humanity.

    That said.
    I knew from the momment i saw the title of this thread that it was going to be an extremely volitale subject
    with ‘intresting’ comments that would be left, to say the least.
    I am not suprised at all at the # of negitive comments and everybody ‘chiming in’ on this or any subject in a ‘gay forum’ concerning open-relationships, poly-am. or this twist on it.
    everybody can relate to the feeling of ‘feeling loved’, being wanted as a ‘lover’, as well as feeling un-loved, rejected or even un-wanted and they all illict powerful feelings of emotion in all of us; and therefore pwerful opinions of and about love as well.

    I, myself (even though i can not relate to a 3-ouple) am in a ‘commited’ relationship in which we both are allowed to have sex with others form time to time ie. an open relationship albeit with conditions and restrictions. i am not at all against a 3-way type of relationship for myself but i am pretty much a ‘believer’ for lack of a better phrase, of bianary-based relationships in which an individual has a primary partner ultimately/evenntualy. the dynamics of a two-based pairings in both (physics-lol) as well, as in biology are just often (though not always) easier to maintain & develope.

    The only hard and steadfast rule that i really believe in is: honesty & openness. and it seems that is present in yor current situation.

    Though not all horrible and totally un-constructive this (like so many other) ‘open internet forums’ quickly dissentirgated into a mud-slinging/name-calling/subject bashing circusand strayed from potential thought-proviking & insightful discussion on various types of relationship bonds gay men & women engage in.
    Yes, i opened with some bashing of my own but only after seeing the same 2 guys flinging shit over and over and over again. i couldn’t take anymore. especially because 1.) i often refrain from commenting on here anyways but also 2.) because i always see both of them all the time on other threads on/in here be-littleing other posters or other commnet-teers relentlessly with just plain mean-spirited hate-filled poison.

  • mds

    The guy who does all the speaking is exudes characteristics typical of a sex addict. He must be the focus of attention, he sets double standards, he has to trust them but has little to no concern about they trusting him. When another member of the group expresses attraction to someone other than him he bashes and puts down the object of their affection. He must be the most sexually attractive because he only sees his worth in this. He actually has very low self esteem. This is why he cannot just observe these comments but must jump in here and attempt to control everyones perceptions. He is controlling beyond excess, typical of all addicts. Family members are actually afraid of him because when they do express their needs to desires and he does not approve then they catch hell from him. The newest member exudes characteristics of a child, he has found his addict father and co-dependent mother. His partners probably mimic his family of origin. Mom is probably sexually anorexic, typical of someone partnered with an addict as everything in life seeks balance and this is the relationships attempt to achieve this. This relationship is not dysfunctional because there are 3 members, it is dysfunctional in the same way all families who are centered around an addict are. There could be love here but its buried in so much crap that its hard to see.

  • michael

    Good synopsis mds. This relationship is definitely about power and control. Very little about hopes, dreams and aspirations as a throuple, just all about sex and who controls that. The photographs are all exhibitionist in nature. He justifies his web site by saying there are twice as many supporters than critics. Flawed logic that suits his ego. More people vote against gay marriage than for it. Justin is definitely grandiose and has a hugely inflated opinion of himself. The more I see him, the more he speaks, the less attractive he becomes. And wow is he degrading and humiliating, the way he talked about the Perrier bottle, the way he shouts “when somebody gets a job”. This relationship is a train wreck. Its like watching an Anna Nicole Smith rerun. Very low rent. I would also like to know what brands of furniture he sells because as an interior designer he really does not exude the kind of class required to work with high end furnishings and clientele.

  • Oh the Pointlessness Of It All

    @Whole Truth, but what do you really think?!

    @Michael, yeah I also wonder about the furniture gig. I can’t imagine Justin being anything more than a cute (to some people, that is) order taker. By the way, did you see the furniture they were all sprawled out on? Not exactly the ne plus ultra of metro style.

  • buster

    I just want to know what’s up w/ all those umbrellas.

  • theWholeTruth

    oh i see what this about now for some of the commenteers – it’s these guys furniture that aren’t up to some queen’s high standards ‘Bastille Taste’ of the furniture they own or their interior decorating taste – WTF ?!?!?
    priceless, tho sad …
    i can just see y’all prancing around look-at-myyyy-house furnishings theeeeir better than yooouurs darling dearest so laa-dee-da
    git life you fem-bots. this post has turned into a big joke of non-related petty crap.

  • theWholeTruth

    this particular case aside (justin’s 3ouple).
    it is my contention/affirmation that other forms of ‘loving relationships’ between consenting adults other than the traditional couple such as polyamorous relationships or open relationship couples are niether immoral nor unethical, in and of themselves, per se. Furthermore not only can they be healthy but often they can be just as stable and even as ‘loving’ as most couple-type relationshis are.
    From a psychological, socialogical, philosophical perspective (justin’s 3ouple case aside again – lol) it is also my firm contention that traditional couplehood can not be proven, per se, as conclusively superior to that of non-traditional types of relationships, as well either.
    Of course, i only barely graduated from the 5th grade and have only done a little reading here and there o such things…
    Unlike some of you on here maybe like the OhThePointlessOfItAll guy to have done some post-doctorial thesis research on this among other collegiate acaademic scholarly projects on similiar subjects as well.
    So I am sure he should easily ‘blow me away’ with some hard, steadfast, conclusive and NON-REFUTABLE material contesting anything i could ever say on the subject human relationships inticacies and subtleties there of.

  • Lotionman

    Seven years into my “marriage” my partner and I did a “fourple”, which later became a throuple, then a nople, and back to couple again… after thou$$ands of dollar$ and hours in therapy. It was a toxic, unmanageable, fucking nightmare from hell that nearly ruined but did permanently damage four lives on so many levels. But that was just our experience(s). My partner and I are still together, now for almost 25 years for all you time-queens. The other guys, whom we despise, are also still together, and are thankfully now living in another state. My comment is this: why does anyone care to judge these guys? They are all young, healthy, and happy (and hot)! It just doesn’t get better than that. Mind your own affairs and be sure to live well while you can. Our issues had almost nothing to do with polygamy and everything to do with alcohol and a few honesty/trust problems that could have been worked out if we knew what the fuck we were doing before it happened.

  • Oh the Pointlessness Of It All

    oh i see what this about now for some of the commenteers – it’s these guys furniture that aren’t up to some queen’s high standards ‘Bastille Taste’ of the furniture they own or their interior decorating taste – WTF ?!

    Justin’s a “high end” furniture salesman, but he lives in a trailer, or at least an apartment that looks like one. Just sayin’

    So I am sure he should easily ‘blow me away’ with some hard, steadfast, conclusive and NON-REFUTABLE material contesting anything i could ever say on the subject human relationships inticacies and subtleties there of.

    No need for high concept. Just look at this extra curricular gang bang story on the lovin’ throuple’s blog.

    Then check out the comments. The first three in particular. You know, the ones where Justin and two other gentle, lovin’ souls yuck it up over the idea of raping the kid who got nervous once he realized what creeps the “throuple” were.

    Nice bunch. WholeTruth, is that your fantasy too?

  • michael

    @Lotionman: @Lotionman: “Why does anyone care to judge these guys”? First of there are judgments and there are facts. It seems that anytime someone has to say anything that is negative it is defined as judgment, if what is said is positive it is defined as supportive, got news for you its all judgment. Thats what humans do with everything in life, that is how we make decisions, that is how we chose what is best for us, we judge. When these 3 men made this video in order to “help people” as they have stated, they open themselves up to be discussed. There is a lot of obvious things that are negative about this arrangement, it has also been stated by many that the problems do not have anything to do with the number of players, but the players themselves. 3 other guys could do a video that could demonstrate a lot of positive reasons for a 3 person relationship. I just don’t think these guys would be good in any relationship where there was more to it than sex involved. They are not victims here. One cannot just put out something like this and say “look at us, look at us” and expect to get out unscathed, only a fool would believe such a thing. I just hope that people do not use them as a model of a healthy relationship of any kind. Because it is not a healthy model.

  • me

    the triangle is the most UNstable shape in the world of relationships. preferences form and one person ends up being the third wheel.

  • Lotionman

    BTW, the “permanent damage” to each of our lives has nothing to do with viruses or other STD’s, which is amazing, given the times. The damage was done to each of our careers, incomes, and psyches(sp?!). The worst was that each one of us reached into our dark closets of evil and pulled out some shitty things. That badness needn’t have happened but you can’t hide those dirty rags once they’ve been exposed. These 3 guys seem to me to be surprisingly mature for age 28, not that that will help their relationship,which is whatever it is, but it is not our job to judge them. Why would anyone even bother with that? I just don’t understand. Love is love.

  • Oh the Pointlessness Of It All

    These 3 guys seem to me to be surprisingly mature for age 28

    You have got to be joking!

  • Cole

    I know I should have been outdoors yesterday afternoon since it was so nice outside, but I got hooked on this story and the thread. A lot of good points… One of my favorites is that on this blog along with other blogs it seems that if someone criticizes the story they are labeled a “troll” or “old and out of touch” or “judgemental”. For the record I’m 30, turn heads and when I see a guy I size him up to figure out if I want to date him, befriend him or not get to know him. What gay doesn’t do this? The difference is that I’m honest about it. I think most gays look at a guy immediately and give a thumbs or thumbs down. They may not verbalize it, but they are making an internal judgement.

    As for this throuple it reeks of Generation Y’s need to be seen and become “stars”. Do we really believe it is to enlighten people and help them? If these guys want to help there are plenty of organizations that could use their six hands to do volunteer work. More good would be done by working in a soup kitchen, delivering food to elderly, walking shelter dogs than lounging in front of a camera droning on their lives. Who cares? Grow up.

    I don’t see much love in this video. I see egos and I see a lot of therapy in the future.

  • faber

    It takes FOUR queens to rent a TWO bedroom railroad flat?!?!

    That’s a whole lotta Mary going on in there!

  • Rachel (No, I'm not lost)

    I care, but maybe that just makes me the target audience. Who’s going to learn more from this documentary and the associated blog? A 30 year old in a committed relationship who doesn’t want to consider a relationship with anyone other than his partner, or a 19 year old single newly out (I only just got the memo) lesbian starting out with a fresh slate at university.

    And before any of you tell me that I shouldn’t be blinded by the video or that it’s corrupting me etc, don’t worry. I have a brain, I will use it, I’m not going to rush into a two way relationship, let alone a three way one.

    I learned something which I will consider if the dilemma/opportunity ever comes my way.

  • Datalounger

    Turns out that Justine has deleted the thread where he and his buddies joked about raping some kid who got creeped out when he and Maxine brought him home, only to have Mickey sitting in the living room and watching. I’d say Justine is following all of this closely.

    There’s a good comment thread going on The Datalounge. I’d say Justine and the boys are getting their 15 minutes worth!

  • Justin Smith

    Rachel, you are an amazing girl :) email me anyday

  • Datalounger

    Yeah, Rachel, go for it! Justine needs to polish her straight-guy cred so the boys will think she’s a real Macho Man! Yum!

  • winslow

    Justine is a TOP?!?!? She comes off as a bossy bottom.

  • Oh the Pointlessness of It All

    This is like slowing down for the car wreck by the highway and looking for traces of blood. Even though you don’t really want to find any, you just can’t help looking!

  • Cole

    @Rachel (No, I’m not lost):

    Rachel, you certainly are lost if you are using the internet for advice on how to date or find a relationship. If you are newly out I suggest contacting local LGBT Centers in your area. I’m sure your campus has an LGBT organization. Try it, Be careful! The internet is a scarey place for someone newly out. Try to sit down with real people and not anonymous names on a computer screen. Good luck.

  • Oh the Pointlessness of It All

    The apartment is straight out of Lurid, the site for “horrifying gay amateur interiors.” Some high-end furniture salesman!

  • anders


    I LOVE Mickey when he looks straight in the camera and says; “Not everybody in the city!”

  • Rachel (No, I'm not lost)

    @Cole: Like I said, have brain, will use it. I live in York (which is a teeny weeny city with a negligible scene), and have done for all of two weeks tomorrow, I’m joining my uni’s GBLT society tomorrow (Freshers week started yesterday) and looking for other stuff in the city. I wasn’t looking for advice, I just found the video by accident, was interested and then got irritated by all the hate, so I thought I might as well add my twopenneth.
    Thank you for your concern though, I was worried about the responses I would get to that one.

  • Rachel (No, I'm not lost)

    @Oh the Pointlessness of It All: But do you look because you want to know that no one was hurt, or because you want to know that someone was hurt?

  • Oh the Pointlessness of It All

    But do you look because you want to know that no one was hurt, or because you want to know that someone was hurt?

    You look because you’re drawn to the scene. You search for blood and bits of scalp, hoping not to find any.

  • JPM

    I just found this post today and after reading some comments I decided to leave one as well.
    People seem scared of what is new, of changes, of the unknown, so many prefer to live in a relationship based on lies or unhappiness instead of venturing in something like polyamory.
    My boys and I are in a throuple that is fairly new. My first relationship is 7 years old. The new one is less than 6 months old. This is the first time all 3 of us engage in a polyamorous relationship, so all 3 are constantly dealing with jealosy, boundaries, rules, feelings, etc. As Justin, Mickey, and Max can probably relate, this initial phase is hard on everyone. Still, we are managing to give baby steps forward most of the time, leap forward occasionally, but give steps backward too.
    Our relationship gets even more interesting because my primary boyfriend is part of a throuple himself. That is mostly a long distance relationship since they live in SF, but nonetheless, they love each other.
    When we were all 5 together in this last Burning Man (, we had the best time! The tribe was so loving of each other, so respectful, so caring.
    To find polyamorous people is hard, but to find gay polyamorous people is even harder! Thanks for putting yourselves out there. We (poly gays) support each other, we (poly gays) grow with each other. The haters are probably just envious of what we manage to have.
    And like Justin said in one of his responses, we live our lives enjoying the wonderful present. :)
    Cheers boys!

  • Jason

    Ugh! These messes sound doomed.

  • JPM


    I’m sorry Jason, but a 9 and 2 years old relationship like Justin, Mickey, and Max’s seems to be much longer than many gay guys are able to have.
    I never felt more stable than I do now… No more desperate search for hookups, no more cheating on my boyfriend, no more juggling secrets.
    Still, polyamory is not for everyone… Some people cannot handle these doomed messes. ;)

  • Oh the Pointlessness of It All

    Nice catch, Buster! Interesting!

  • aaron

    Even more interesting when you consider that Justine was supposed to have been w/ Mickey longer than Maxine.

  • clint

    That justin queen is just….. tragic and SOOOOOOO cliche .I realize she’s from Texas, but still.

  • CaledoniaGuy

    My boyfriend and I used to see two of the three at the gym in my building all of the time. One cannot help but feel sorry for Max as the body language is very telling along with the pregnant pauses, and hesitant dialogue.

    I don’t know any of these guys personally but it seems clear, to me at least, that there is some abuse dynamic going on here. Hard to accept that Max got so tired of being single that he’d settle for this sort of set up. And let’s be real: Justin is not cute at all in the face. Situations like this arise out of the mirroring of poor relationships one witnesses as a youth.

    Separately, anyone who wants a piece needs only sign-up for manhunt as they are always on it.

  • tonyboy

    Nobody is probably reading this thread anymore, but in answering the questions about happiness or doomed, it is now January 2010 and Max has broken up with Justin and Mickey. It seems Max has taken up with someone else. I guess we now know the correct answer is DOOMED.

  • Rachel

    @Tonyboy That’s not an indication that it was doomed, just that it didn’t work out. If two guys, two girls or one of each get into a relationship and then split up, was the relationship doomed? Or was it just one of those things?
    I hope that all three will be very happy wherever they find themselves in the future.

  • Colby412

    Wow. I’m glad I was home sick today. This has kept me entertained for an hour reading all of this. This story and the postings had a beginning, middle and an end that I saw coming when I read the article. Justin and Max seemed really messed up and Mickey seems like he has totally checked out. With that much dysfunction in the relationship it isn’t surprising that it came to an end. Hopefully, they will stay single for awhile and not mess up other people’s lives.

  • Fitz

    I agree. I hope that they stay single for a very long time. Especially the predator one. I hope the one with zero self esteem gets into therapy.

  • Tryinit

    They recently added a fourth to their fucked up relationship mind fucked him and then dumped him. You people are awful and need to stop advertizing it.

  • jimmy

    @Tryinit: you got to be jocking *facepalm

  • john

    the fourth is a whore i heard they met off manhunt

  • Jacob


  • Mike

    @Jacob: @Jacob: wow even 3 years later still talk about this!

  • Cam

    Wondered what had happened. On the films site, it says that Max left them and Justine and Mickey broke up but still are roommates.

    Please remind me again what wonderful things they were going to teach us about relationships?

  • EvonCook

    May the gods bless them for being real gays, homosexuals and queers and not the pathetic would be assimilationists and faux or pseudo heteros that so many gay men have become (out of fear, desperation or ignorance) and that many of the younger generations think is actually being gay! Men can and do naturally enjoy sexual relations beyond the marriage box, property rights cage or romantic monogamy misconceptions. In fact, we are losing the one great homosexual evolved superior quality that gays could have brought to the uptight, anti-sex heteros –commonplace, frequent and multi-partner sex for a better species and happier life (see Bonobo monkeys!)!

  • EvonCook

    @JPM: Thanks and good luck and best wishes. Love your ideas!

  • EvonCook

    @me: Then expand the triangle to a square or add more! Two only make a straight line and that is certainly NOT gay!

  • EvonCook

    @rudy: OMG,You are the very type of pretend gay man that I hope never to meet. Really you are nothing more than see out, assimilationist and pseudo heterosexual.

  • EvonCook

    @blackjack44: Beautiful and good for you!!!!!!!!

  • Cam


    What a boring little person you are. Gay is gay, it isn’t a number, or an event, or some relationship that you deem to be appropriate.

    These guys were claiming that they discovered a much better relationship and guess what, it failed and ended.

    Oooops, guess that didn’t work for your little narrative did it?

  • lanyindou

    Some Interesting updates about the after-ending stories:

    The Alpha man, Justin started a new career: sex worker. His build got bigger and soon he got a chance into the porn industry, with a new name of Austin Wolf. Both careers work well and he became more and more famous.

    Some interesting fact about him:
    1) In an interview with, he said that he once slapped a client’s face who asked for unsafe sex. He suggested everyone should play safe. However he soon starts his bareback shot with porn studios
    2) He received the Best Top of 2015 reward from, which was soon closed and whose boss was arrested by the police…

    OMG, Justin, life is so dramatic for u, lolllllll

  • alphacentauri

    @lanyindou: I’m not surprised that these people are wh0res.

  • enlightenone

    @Justin Smith: “i am a VERY difficult man to live with.” = Narcissistic and immature, pretty typical psychologically repressed, post-adolescent homosexual male!

  • enlightenone

    Nothing NEW here, many a teenage BOY, gay, str8, bi, wet dream/FANTASY!

  • OhHellNo

    I’ve known four different gay “polygroups” over the years. None lasted more than five years, and two of them were couples who added a third and broke up within a year of that. There’s much more than sex involved: I give Justin’s mini-hive a much better chance if Max gets a job soon.

Comments are closed.