It’s In The Groin!

It’s official. Speedo’s new LZR swimsuit is the best thing to happen to water since Moses.

The suit, made of a “space-age” water repellent material, has been worn by 21 of the 22 world record swimmers, so obviously Speedo’s on to something here.

While people debate the the tight fit’s fairness, we’re more intrigued by the suit’s secret weapon, as seen on swimmer Michael Phelps:

How does it work? The secret, according to swimmers, is in the groin and abdomen. The LZR is built, there, with an inflexible girdle-like structure meant to hold a swimmer’s body in the best position as he or she moves through the water.

Another benefit is seamlessness: The whole suit is “ultrasonically welded” together, a technique that bonds plastic using sound waves. This reduces any lines that may cause drag.

Honey, that is drag!

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  • Joel

    It’s all about that tuck. Also when the suits are wet or exposed to bright light the suit leaves very little to the imagination.

  • Amber LeMay

    What sizes do they come in? I’d like one in mumbo-jumbo petite, please.

  • Steve

    When the competition becomes “who has the best equipment”, the real purpose of the sport becomes lost. Instead of a real human competition, it becomes a contest to develop better equipment.

    I think FINA (the rules authority for international swimming) and USA Swimming (the rules authority in the USA) should just outlaw the wearing of suits, entirely. That would restore the competition to a real, human, athletic contest. (And in the bargain, it would sell more tickets.)

  • REBELComx

    [email protected] I think ALL of the olypics should be done nude…like they were originally. Might be a problem with Men’s Hurdles though…suddenly more white guys winning.




  • Jim

    It makes him look like a Ken-doll, how unfortunate…

  • REBELComx

    The guy’s like 6’4″ or something…even a 8″ cock is gonna look small compared to the rest of him. Who cares…he’s a total cutie.

  • PalePhoenix

    one in mumbo-jumbo petite, please

    I’d love to know what that means. SRSLY.

    I think he’s so violently adolescent in his facial features, it’s impossible to settle on “cute.” I think he’s endearing, and will wait for that particular loaf to come out of the oven. Oddly, I was so very happy to see an earlier pictorial that put him into the pose of daVinci’s Vitruvian Man. I finally agreed there was sense to the shape a lot of taller guys are in.

    Yes, it makes things look smaller (and bigger) ’til you get up close, but it also doesn’t have “ultrasonic seams.”

  • Pat

    Two things come to my mind:

    While the science of swimming has improved with the Speedo LZR, the art of swimming has all but disappeared. Not only do I want to see the athletes perform, I also want to admire their beauty. This is impossible with the LZR. I guess they won’t be on a Wheaties cereal box. I loved the early 1980’s.

    The second thing that comes to my mind is when I watch a British TV show about some fashion guy by the name of Gok who convinces slightly overweight women to improve their fashion tastes rather than do plastic surgery so that they can feel better about themselves. I picture an imaginary episode that has Gok trying to fit a woman into an LZR swimsuit. After having a battle with her butt, he tries to shove her breasts into the suit. To no avail, he tells her to get breast reduction surgery.

  • JohnRobertsLovesyou

    I hate it. I need a buldge. Takes the fun out of swimming.

  • Mike

    Bring back the skimpy speedo!!!

Comments are closed.