the balding class

It’s OK to Blame These Baby Boomers for Not Being Able to Marry


It’s not just the gays on YouTube whose apathy is wholly responsible for your lack of civil rights! The middle-aged Baby Boomers are also F-ing you over as we speak, because they care more about landscaping their back yards and their tee times than your right to marry.

It’s not that the heterosexual graying, menopausal demographic doesn’t like you gays. They do! They keep you as friends and enjoy your company at brunch. But they exhausted their commitment to righting social injustices back in the 60s, when fighting the man also involved a fat blunt.

Now this group is part of the “yawning majority,” opines New Jersey’s Trentonian columnist Jeff Edelstein.

There’s a bill before the state legislature that would allow gay couples to marry. Lame duck governor Jon Corzine has pledged to sign the bill, should the legislature pass it. Governor-to-be Chris Christie opposes gay marriage. And as a result of this bit of political timing, the loud and obnoxious anti-gay-marriage lobby is getting ready to descend on the Garden State to campaign against it.

This is going to get loud and obnoxious.

As for me? Well, as you might infer from my writing thus far, I am for same-sex marriage.

Well, “for” might be a little strong. I’m more in the “couldn’t care less” category. You’re gay? You want to get married? Go for it. What do I care?

In fact, I’m about to coin a term, so get your term-coining apparatus ready. Remember Nixon’s “silent majority”? Well, there’s a new majority in town, a majority that’s probably about five or 10 years away from dominating the public discourse, and I’m calling them the “yawning majority.”

It’s basically Generation X, which all of a sudden is hitting middle age, and we don’t get too revved up on social issues. Basically, we are a giant “don’t ask, don’t tell” majority. Same-sex marriage? Yeah, sure. Marijuana for personal use? Knock yourselves out. We really don’t care.

That said, the “yawning majority” hasn’t yet taken over the country, so in the meantime, we’ve got to deal with people like Maggie Gallagher, the president of the National Organization for Marriage, who is a Yale graduate, newspaper columnist, and true blowhard. On their Web site, they say marriage between a man and a women is “common sense” and call the idea of same-sex marriage a “radical social experiment.”

So what will it take for for the group of Americans that find themselves adding “grandma” and “grandpa” to their list of roles to throw their weight behind gay rights? We could threaten to take away their AARP cards. Or, more effectively, threaten to cancel Two And a Half Men and The Horse Whisperer.