It seems like everytime a basketball player, Oscar producer or random goon in New York City says “faggot”, GLAAD and everyone else gets all riled up and tries to publicly shame whoever said it.
That’s fine, but it’s also kinda like Holden Caulfield trying to erase all the “fuck yous” in the world—”If you had a million years to do it in, you couldn’t rub out even half the ‘Fuck you’ signs in the world. It’s impossible.”
So maybe it’s time we reclaim “faggot” by using it to denote positive things instead.
HuffPo Gay Voices writer Domenick Scudera has a plan:
How about we take this to the next level?
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You have probably heard of other people reclaiming offensive language to remove the sting, and now it is the gays’ turn… Here is what I propose: designate one day a week, say, a Friday, as Fag Friday or, simply, Fagday. During the course of the day, substitute words that have positive connotations with the word “fag” or “faggot.” For instance, instead of saying, “Have a nice day!” say, “Have a fag day!” “Nice” = “fag.” … If we all do this all day long on Fagdays, then the whole nation will be equating “faggots” with happy, joyful things…
The general public will overhear statements like these all day long:
• “You look absolutely fagtastic today!”
• “Fag morning. How may I help you?”
• “Oh, Karen, your baby is just faggy! Look at that faggoty face!”
…It’s just a word. It will hurt you only if you let it.
May the Fag be with you!
He’s only kidding of course as he suggests bringing up his plan at the next “Gay Agenda meeting.” But he raises an interesting point. Especially when gays are increasingly known as socially adept creatives who are sometimes well-cultured and quite fashionable, when will “gay” stop working as a synonym for “stupid, un-original and lifeless” and start meaning “well put together and unconventionally clever”?
Like so:
“You’re son and his purple fanny pack are totally gay.”
“Why thank you! He made the fanny pack himself and uses it to raise money for women who have had their faces kicked off by horses.”
“I wish my son was as gay as yours.”
“Oooooh gurl, please.”
See? Magical.
Images via [nivs]
TMikel
It is true that the power of words is quite strong and is ofent used by oppressors in the attempt to deman and belittle those they are oppressing. The solution is to turn it around as Scudera suggests. I, for one, have always been proud that I am gay and never take offense at being called a, “faggot.” From what I have read, the word refers to the wood bundles – faggots – that were once used to burn not only gays but witches, heretics and others of whom the church and government disapproved. Ergo, we stand with those others in history who were persecuted for being different, for daring to believe something other than the official line. Also, if, “faggot,” or “gay,” is the best they can come up with, they are quite pathetic. So I agree. Let’s reclaim the words and take pride in them. History has shown that the meaning of words changes over time just as new words enter the common vocabulary.
Riker
I nearly spat out my coffee at “Oh, Karen, your baby is just faggy! Look at that faggoty face!”
Also, Holden Caufield? WTF? Since when to Queerty bloggers read actual literature?? Though, at least I know you weren’t all kidnapped and replaced by real writers, since you misspelt his name.
Conrad Honicker
I was called FAGGOT literally everyday in high school, and I knew it as a hateful thing. Now that I’m in a gay community, and know that everyone else I love was called faggot, I wonder if the word itself doesn’t describe my kind of people: fierce, creative, cutting edge, and gay!
For this reason, I use it in select gay social circles (because it confuses straight folk when I say faggot) as an endearing term synonymous with rad, on point, or fierce.
“I’m a queerlicious yummy boy-fag that takes it to a whole new level.” Needless to say, statements like this are a bit incendiary and provocative, and have upset some around me. Stretching comfort zones!
xoxo
L'Herbs
I’ll say that this is sort of already happening. Maybe it’s a younger thing, since we all know that our generation LOVES offensive humor in general, much like gays of all ages love the offensive humor of Margaret Cho and the like. I think that South Park episode perfectly encapsulates the way a lot of young people, gay AND straight, feel about the use of ‘fag.’ Fags for life! *gay gang symbol*
GreatGatsby2011
@TMikel: Actually the belief that the derogatory term “faggot” is referencing the burning of homosexuals and heretics is likely an etymological urban legend. It is more likely that it stems from the british slang “fagot” which was being used at the time to describe an unpleasant woman (being as difficult to handle as a faggot of wood). So, while it’s not impossible that the derogatory term is referencing being burnt at the stake, there is no etymological evidence to support it.
jeff
How incredibly stupid. You people live in a bubble. The point of people getting “riled up” I doubt is for those of you who live in gayborhoods and can “reclaim” the words among the rest of your friends who are likely 95 percent gay, plus your fag hag. Look I reclaimed it! Everything is better
Gregory
I don’t think so…. being called these names growing up was enough. I ignore, and sometimes treat hostile my gay friends who use these words as terms of endearment. I hate it when gay guys call each other ‘girl’…. I have a penis, I am a man, and I only want such! Oh, and by the way, not all African-Americans call each other “N”, many find it offensive…. guess I am old school. I am gay, but I resent it when I am called ‘a gay’… F everyone I am human only
John
@Gregory:
Amen Brother, you aren’t the only one.
JAW
What a joke… There is no word that can be reclaimed and still not be hurtful…
When someone wants to be hurtful all they need to do is change their tone.The context of how it is used is what matters.
If someone yells across the cafeteria… Hey look at the Gay boy… is that any different then if they had yell Hey… look at the fag?
many people have tried to reclaim the term/word queer… I hate it when people, including GLBT people, refer to me or anyone as a queer… it will never fell good, I will ALWAYS hate the word.
Fag, is even more hurtful… it will Never not be. Lets not confuse people even more by letting straight people think we are ok with being called Queer or Fag, Faggot, Homo, Dyke Lesbo, Tranny, T-girl or other hurtful names.
Octavio
I don’t buy it. Let’s put it in perspective, why not do the same with the N word, for example. Why don’t you suggest this superclever (sarcasm intended) plan to all the kids who are bullied into shame every single fucking day with these types of words. How can we tell them that it’s not okay when somebody calls you a faggot and then call us faggots among ourselves as adults?
Joetx
I hope you’re trying to be funny. Otherwise, this is 1 of the dumbest ideas ever to come out of a gay man.
B-Rock
I LOVE the word fag! And absolutely believe that words can be reclaimed. Fagging out, Faggotron, Fagginator, Faggle-Rock, you name it!
Seriously, any adjective can be used as a pejorative if it’s spouted with hatred. If somebody yells out “Shut the &$%@ up, you f&#@ing KOREAN!” then they are clearly demonstrating their prejudice against Korean people, but to the rest of the world there’s nothing bad about being Korean at all. Being a bigot on the other hand…
Not being bothered by a word someone calls you isn’t simply a matter of desensitization, but comes from actually embracing what that word refers to as something you love and value, or at least as being as unimportant and irrelevant as say your hair color or blood-type.
In this case it’s effeminacy – and as long as there are still self-loathing gay guys out there who think that being effeminate is something to be ashamed of, they’re still going to be bothered by someone calling them that (regardless of how effeminate they may or may not be). It was years after I came to love myself as a gay man that I came to love myself as a faggot.
o
@B-rock, for Korean slurs we can use the word k-fag.
jeff4justice
Cute.
Chris
It worked so well for the N word.
Seriously, how are homophobes going to react? They’ll just point and ask why those gays can use the word and they can’t. In fact, they often already do. I like the cock, but I hate fashion and pop music divas. Am I a fag under the reclaimed definition?
The “it will only hurt you if you let it” line is such BS it pisses me off the more I see it. While technically true, it completely misses the point about why we need to fight against homophobic and transphobic statements. It also seems to say that our emotional reactions are actually choices, which is just wrong.
WillBFair
No way. The word has too much of a history of hatred and violence.
We can use it among ourselves, as black folk use the n word. But no one else is allowed. Period.
Eric in Chicago
Sorry but while GLBT people are beaten to death on the street or commit suicide due to being called FAGGOT in school. We should work to eradicate the casual use of the term just like the N word. It shouldn’t be uttered just for the Heck of it. The criticism is valid and should continue.
B-Rock
@Chris
I’ll definitely concede that there are multiple perspectives on this depending on how you interpret the word.
If you truly see no difference between ‘fag’ and ‘gay’, in the same way as say ‘k*ke’ is simply a stand-in for ‘jew’, then yes, it will always be offensive to you. But, I see a difference between a faggy gay guy and a non-faggy gay guy, and I just don’t find the former to be any better or worse than the latter.
If you hate fashion and pop music divas then, hey, maybe you’re not faggy – maybe you’re not a fag. But that doesn’t mean that you need be offended by the idea of being called one:
If some douche-bag comes up to one of my straight guy friends and says something like “What are you GAY or something?” he’s not going to be offended by being associated with gay people – he KNOWS he’s not gay, and probably thinks gay culture is awesome. What would be offensive to him is the idea that this douche-bag seems to think so. It’d be the same thing if somebody called me a jew in a pejorative way – I’m in no way offended by the idea of being jewish, and certainly don’t feel any need to PROVE to anyone that I’m not jewish – I’m simply offended by that person being a jerk.
I’m not really very feminine at all, but I think fierce fags are righteous and awesome and will embrace my own inner-fag whenever he does come around. We’re never going to have control over how someone else feels about different kinds of people, but if you yourself have the idea in your head that a faggy guy is somehow worse than a non-faggy guy (or worse still, if you feel that you are faggy and that you have to cover it up), then yes, being called a fag is going to bother you.
Matt
Please please please get a copy editor. “You’re son and his purple fanny pack are totally gay.”
Really? You are son?
Nick
That idea is stupid as fuck.