An “uncommonly bitter” city council election goes down tomorrow in West Hollywood, the place where, kids are being told, it gets better. Six challengers, all gays, want to oust three sitting councilmembers up for re-election. What’s so bad about the incumbents? They support the gentrification of the famous Los Angeles gayborhood, their opponents accuse, and would rather see the things that attract young and less economically advantaged gays (like bars and sex clubs, I guess?) get run out of town so another Marc Jacobs store can open, which the older and richer gays would love. West Hollywood, which is a distinct government entity from Los Angeles, and claims an estimated 40 percent of its 35,000 residents to be homos, no longer needs to be the gay-specific haven it once was, insists gay Mayor John Heilman: “We still have the same number of gay people, but straight people now feel comfortable going into a gay area and socializing. A lot of people are proud of their identity, but they’re not going out to bars all the time anymore. Their priorities have shifted as they’ve gotten older.” If the six challengers really wanted to draw a crowd of supporters at tomorrow’s election, they should’ve been accusing The Olds of trying to take away their annual gay pride parade, because ewww, Speeods. Nobody would’ve stood for that.
Pete
Long live the Gayborhoods of America. Let’s found some new ones too.
divkid
i haven’t read the (ha) “article”. frankly don’t care. far too distracted by that thick assed dude on the right. j-e-s-u-s
helllll yeeees!
ahem,…sorry… it’s the time of day, almost porn o’clock and my furry palms are sliding over the keyboard in anticipation.
too much information?
Shannon1981
I wish I lived in a Gayborhood. Don’t really care if it is full of gay bars or Marc Jacobs stores, though I could see why the ones whose fave spots are being shut down would be furious. A good gay club could be like a home away from home.
divkid
@Shannon1981: the problem is the broke ass gays/artists/creative freaks and outsiders move to the rough ass areas, make it over with our style. it becomes a lively, edgy bohemian hub and fatally : fashionable. the gay yuppies descend like piranha, and then breeder yuppies scent the financial killing…ultimately it ends up a sanitised, corporate, identikit trendy-ville. and *shudder* family friendly –“WHAT ABOUT THE CHILDREN!!!” — (read de-gayed).
there goes the gayborhood.
Shannon1981
@divkid: I see your point. I was in LA briefly, but not in a gayborhood, and not really long enough to get my feet wet. There are no gayborhoods here in SC LOL. So IDK how it really works, except just…kind of from afar. Thanks for the explanation.
The young gays need to stay where they are then, keep the corporate types out.
Todd
Deep thinking as usual.
West Hollywood under the leadership which has been in power for over eighteen years has turned a charming, interesting little city into a nightmare. Really, anyone in any public office for that long is going to be corrupt and not about listening to the public. Get rid of all of them.
Cam
West hollywood has been pricey for years.
cRAIG
I do not miss living in WEHO. The younger set is so full of annoying nelly fashionista wannabees, or aging nasty porn stars turned gym trainer, queeny imports who think they are so fabulous they can’t get over themselves.
Don’t miss it, at all~!
adman
What is it about the Castro that is so different than WeHo? Is it the length of time the Castro has had to become more of an institution? WeHo “gay life” is the most insufferable thing about us going in LA, since working on domestic issues is so “uncool”, and who cares if the lesbians want to recycle everything? I mean, keep that bar open for the twinks and never stop focusing on that bar, and the bar only! In the Castro at least someone living a smidgeon from your own lifestyle can co-exist as a neighbor or coworker. WeHo? NEVER!! LA queens make me want to get a boring makeover to sever any association I might have with them. Something fetching in beige, methinks.
Red Meat
Then how will the Olds attract the New to get them drunk and have sex hmm?
Derek
@ Craig
Hun it doesn’t miss you either……
prohomo
Ugh. ANY gay ghetto is rather insufferable to visit for too long, or even worse, to live in.
Dirty Anthem
Just look at the cakes of that dude on the right. O M G
TheRealAdam
@Derek: Probably doesn’t even know who that whiny b!tch is…
TheRealAdam
@adman: Los Angeles is the center of the universe and the greatest city on the planet. All haters fall back. L.A. apologizes for no one, not even the precious gays who curse it because they couldn’t cut it.
Shannon
THIS is why gay people cannot get anywhere or get anything! We are trying to have an intelligent conversation and all the queens care about is some dude in panties who would NEVER give you the time of day! I lived in Weho…on Palm…and the men here sucked! They porn people who were always CRACKED OUT ON METH….the attitude…I mean trying to have intelligent convo was nil…I found Weho boring…everything closed at 1’30…..they need to get it together. I did LOVE the Weho police force there….they keep the areas safe and were gay or gay friendly. it is VERY expensive there….very…we paid a lot of cash for our apt there….it is starting to age though and they need to attract more young people
Stanley
HOW TO FIT IN WEST HOLLYWOOD — 16 RULES
1) Spend most of your disposable income, savings, or Daddy’s money on a trendy apartment, even if the apartment is the size of a walk-in closet. Acquire all of your furnishings from the expensive boutiques on Beverly Boulevard or the Pacific Design Center (or at least tell everyone you did).
2) Lease a nice looking car. An “entry level” luxury car, such as a BMW 3 Series or Audi A4 will suffice, but make sure to let everyone know that you could have spent more money, but decided to wait “because of the economy.”
3) Have a job in the entertainment industry, fashion industry, as a personal trainer, or if all else fails, as a gay porn star. Basically you need to have a job where you have ample time in the middle of the day to cruise Craigslist, Manhunt, and Grindr for prospective hook-ups.
4) Your clothing should not be more than one season old. You should do all of your window shopping at Kitson, Fred Segal, and the many other clothing boutiques that line Melrose Avenue. Then you can do you your real clothes shopping at the Beverly Center (mall) & the Beverly Connection. Only wearing name-brand clothing is permissible.
5) You must speak with a “lisp” and your voice pitch should go up two octaves when you are within the West Hollywood city limits. “Hey gurl” and “honey” should be part of your vocabulary. Make sure that you greet other men in WeHo with a hug and a peck on the cheek.
6) Be seen in the gay bars on Santa Monica Boulevard. Know the bathrooms and rear alleys behind the gay bars well, in case you sense a prospective hook-up you want to test drive before you take him home.
7) You are required to dress up as a drag queen at least once a year. Make sure you cake that makeup and put that lipstick on real thick.
8) Be friends with as many gay porn stars as possible on Twitter, and act like you are best friends with them when you see them dancing as go-go boys at the gay bars.
9) Take your straight (“but not narrow”) girlfriends to the Abbey (gay) bar, where they can flirt & hook-up with the straight, douchey male bartenders who work there.
10) You need to be familiar with the straight bars on the Sunset Strip. Hunt down Hollywood celebrities and take a photograph with them. Afterwards, make sure you tell everyone how you bumped into a major celebrity, but “it wasn’t a big deal.”
11) Physical appearances matter more than the gay man on the inside. You need to make sure that you schedule regular trips to the day spa. If you are over 30, you must consider plastic surgery – a facelift, tummy tuck, pec implants, chin implants, or possibly more. Botox is required for the gay male over age 50. Your hair must be styled regularly at a local hair salon. Wearing makeup and eyeshadow is recommended if you have facial blemishes.
12) When you are not sleeping, eating, having sex, or at your job (what’s that?), you need to be working out rigorously at the gym. Unless you are cruising the gym for your next hook-up. Keeping a strict diet is crucial as well. You cannot be overweight, or have excess fat and survive in West Hollywood. Other than Republicans, gay fat men are the pariahs of gay community in WeHo.
13) Act like you are interested in cultural diversity – go to Krav Maga & Tai Chi classes, take yoga classes, and eat Asian, Latin American, and Indian food. But when it comes to other gay men, if you are a white gay male – make sure that you only associate with other gay men who are also white. Basically your friends & boyfriends should look like they are Midwestern boys from Kansas who modeled for Abercrombie & Fitch.
14) You are a Democrat, and you tell everyone that you support Equality California & the Human Rights Campaign. But you rarely (if ever) vote in elections.
15) Because of Target’s recent donations to an anti-gay politician in MN, you make it a point to tell others that you no longer shop at the West Hollywood Target. But you still hang out there occasionally to cruise for guys.
16) You must be very vocal in your support of “marriage equality.” Even as you troll for sex with as many men as you can find, it is crucial that you tell as many people as you can, how important it is for you to get married. After all, those gay marriage rallies and political groups are full of gay men looking for their next no-strings-attached hook-up – just like you……
TheRealAdam
@Stanley: Did you just come up with all of this now, or was this a copy-and-paste job?
Stanley
@TheRealAdam: Yup, I just came up with that right now. I’m a Southern California native (born & raised) who’s also gay.
FunMe
Stanley that is HILARIOUS!
Who cares if it was copied or not. Thanks for sharing.
Anyway, just remember folks, WeHo is only 40%gay. It’s always been that way. The issue is that with gays being more accepted than in the past (yup, even with PropH8), more straights come into the gayborhood. I don’t mind them. What I do mind is when they make the gay bars straight. Case in point: The Abbey. Straight guy go there because they know they straight girls are they. Meanwhile, the girls want to just have fun with the gays, but the straight men are there to “cruise” them. That is why I don’t like that bar anymore, it’s more of a straight bar than a gay bar where straight join in the fun. Come on, aren’t there enought straight bars for them to go to?
I must say, yes bring in more young people. But the politically aware not just the party folks.
adman
@TheRealAdam: Lol, I was born and raised in LA, didn’t leave until I was 24. I still own two condos there, just got back from a martial arts tournament there a month ago, I’m still largely based there, etc. You’re saying nothing.
But, that’s your reason for living, being a glaringly boring stereotype who uses your tedious personality as a survival mechanism. Your like a skunk spewing stank from your ass every time you post. Very typical of the transplant “LA zombie gay”, where are you from Ohio? Tell me more about LA…How about how you dive back into the closet to work for your 3rd tier studio bosses who traffic in homo hate in the media? Do you adopt a wingnut persona there, or what? I bet you tell them bible stories and shit. It’s like looking through a window pane with you, I swear.
TheRealAdam
@Stanley: Me, too.
@adman: Actually I’m from L.A. (born and raised and still live here, thank God), which is why your particular comment struck me as one that an ignorant transplant would write. ANYway, ape-man, I don’t think you’re in any position to spout off prophecies about me when your only interaction with me was the sheer ownage I gave you in another post. So you can take that and coast on it.
buce
@adman: brilliant.
Yorban
Just as an aside : I’m from NYC, born and raised, and here we consider the “gay transplants” the absolute worst types of zombies. Wish they’d all go back home. I’ve sometimes wondered if Los Angeles gay natives feel the same.
adman
@TheRealAdam: LMAO, “sheer ownage”, you’re a prize, I mean that. I won you for my very own to tease and taunt into keyboard warrior fail with each thing you say. Why don’t you post a link in this thread to the other one where this supposed ownage plays out? Let others decide, lil’ skunk? How long will you go through life getting it all wrong, and attempting to pass it off as “fabulous”? What sheer fail from you. At least you used to be funny in a young, dumb and fully numb kind of way. How low, TRA? how low?
adman
@TheRealAdam: Oh yes, it lies, it evades, it turns blue in the face and spews. I won it, it’s my new pet, TheRealAdam, a keyboard pest of the lowest form. Will you post the link to this ownage you speak of, so the readers can decide for themselves? How many other threads will you obediently follow me to little pet? Boy child “ownage”, I love it. Call mommy, and tell her you and your “girlfriend” need money for the megachurch DVD box set. Then, take the money and go buy some more speed from the G’s on the north side. How’s your Armenian drag ensemble working these days? You’re gonna have to blend in you know! What an epic fail, I love it!
TheRealAdam
@adman: So you need validation from others about the ownage I gave you? Are you really that insecure? Don’t get mad, get glad. One day you’ll be on my level and won’t need to attempt to raise yourself to it by seeking approval from others about your inferior abilities.
I wish you luck. Stick around and you’ll learn something.
TheRealAdam
@adman: An epic fail, and yet here you are, roused to action with your half-witted, monotonous, and weak tries at imposing your fragile ego on another. My darling ape, queen of the jungle, take whatever’s left of the Prozac you’ve been storing for hard times, get the table wine out of the cupboard, and have a toast to your inferiority and FAIL.
Now, as you were.
TheRealAdam
@Yorban: Yes, we do.
Jeffree
Anyone else get the sense that Adman and theRealAdam are engaging in some weird form of courtship?
Guys: Get a room. I’ll send up some tequila. Don’t leave that room until you’ve realized you can’t live without — or with — each other.
Once that’s out of your system, you’ll both feel better.
adman
@TheRealAdam: Yep, you’re med minded. I knew it, so I didn’t say anything. You mentally ill folks need a place to vent, and now that you’ve opened this new vista into your personality separate from your obviously sociopathic screen persona, I understand you better now, TRA. There there, you can “Epic Ownage” all you like, OK? Yes, You ownage everything all you like, just keep lending us your brilliance! It’s ok to meander in circles with no direction, I’m paying attention to you, and that’s what counts, right?
Since you show no understanding that others read this, yet demonstrate a constant need for approval from the audience here, Post the link and back up your words. It’ll make you more character driven as a person, then you’ll be building a saner future for yourself and Queerty. Just think of it! You can do it.
adman
@Jeffree: See, you’re on to something. Good call. Watch a pimp work! Now, I don’t like to exploit the short comings of the more character challenged amonsgt us as a rule. But, I will send the trick into the arms of next guy who just happens to be at the far end of the bar from, me. The extremely far end, way down there where I can’t see or hear the bitch anymore, see? It’s easy to pander a phony, and TRA is the phoniest of them all. No backup, that’s the title of his first album, I’m sure.
TheRealAdam
@Jeffree: He only wishes I was that blessed combination of drunk, high, medicated, bankrupt, and desperate enough to accept his more than obvious advances, since that’s the only condition upon which his tricks will favor him.
Unfortunately, some boys have standards, and can’t be bothered with the annoying flies that vie for their attention.
@adman: Flies at work, doing what they do best…
BlogShag
I love Stanley’s post. It would be funnier if it weren’t SO TRUE.