first daughter detective

Ivanka’s newest White House role: cold case murder solver

Ivanka Trump appears to have grown bored with her role as the White House’s official spokesperson for Goya beans, so she’s #foundsomethingnew.

The first daughter was just in Minnesota, where she announced plans to help solve cold cases involving missing and murdered American Indians and Alaska Natives, particularly women.

That’s right, folks. The failed handbag designer is now a detective who specializes in homicides and kidnappings.

Related: Ivanka launches #FindSomethingNew effort to inspire unemployed Americans to find jobs that don’t exist

Ivanka will help oversee the new task force, which will have offices in Rapid City, South Dakota; Billings, Montana; Nashville, Tennessee; Albuquerque, New Mexico; Phoenix; and Anchorage, Alaska.

She also shared the news on Twitter, along with some truly alarming statistics about indigenous women:

While we certainly need to do more (much more!) for indigenous communities, it’s odd that Ivanka, whose father regularly uses of the term “Pocahontas” as a slur, suddenly cares so passionately about a group of people she’s never expressed any interest in before.

It’s even odder when you consider that, earlier this year, the Trump administration deliberately withheld $8 billion in coronavirus relief funds that had been promised to tribal governments under the CARES Act, and when it finally did release the funds, only about half the promised amount was sent, until a judge ordered the remainder be released.

Then there was the time in March, just as coronavirus was taking off in the United States, when the Trump administration revoked the reservation status of 300 acres of land belonging to the Mashpee Wampanoag, the tribe that first welcomed the Pilgrims to America in 1620, for no apparent reason.

We could go on and on (and on) about how the Trump administration has abused Native Americans, but, honestly, we’d be here all day, night, and into tomorrow.

Here’s how Twitter is responding to Ivanka’s new gig…

Related: Ivanka can’t even give food to the hungry without making it all about her