“If I want to continue being around this love and this power, I’ll do whatever my dad wants me to,” says Jamal Parris, one of four men accusing Pastor Eddie Long of being a total jesus creep. Interviewed in Colorado after Long’s Sunday sermon, where the pastor promised to fight the allegations (which he won’t deny are true), Jamal is speaking out against the man he alleges sexually abused him.
Why didn’t Jamal just tell Long to stop what he was doing? Because, Jamal says, “you’re afraid to lose your father. You’re afraid that if you tell him ‘No,’ the support that he gives to yourself … the fact that you finally have a father that you always wanted for and always dreamed of, will just walk away from you if you don’t give him what you want. So you end up turning into something you never thought you’d be.”
And: “You have to understand, this man manipulated us from childhood. This was our father and we loved him. This man turned his back on us when he had no more need for us. That’s not a father. That’s a predator. … [Long] is not a man, [he is] a monster.”
Jamal says that while Long can mislead his entire congregation about the allegations, he’ll never be able to tell these four men the charges aren’t true.
In 2008 Paris reportedly attempted to commit suicide following the affair with Long. It was unsuccessful, but afterward Paris posted this letter to Facebook aimed directly at Long:
Do you remember the time that you used to be able to look at yourself, know and like the person you saw looking back. I cant say that i do. I can honestly say that life has been hard, i have wanted to quit many many times and tried to quit by terminating my membership here on earth.
But i am still here. Through the trials i am here. you have hurt me. I am not DEAD. i am still standing, tears in my eyes, years of hurt in my heart, feet on the ground. i am here. all i ever did was love you and want you to love me. you lied and deceived me. Why. does it matter do you even know.
I lost a life because of you. the sad part is it is the life you gave. i gave up so much, of myself and what i valued most. for you.
Whether someone tells you about this note or not, God knows it and sees my heart. I will no longer allow you and your actions to stop me from living.
I will not allow you to take anymore from what you have taken. and if you dont know let me tell you: my joy and peace, my innocence, you murdered that genuine person that was inside of me, the person that god made me. you took away hope, and you almost caused me to take my own soul. what kind of person are you.
You are not a human, you are a monster, you have made me one to those who care and cared about me and now i see the world like I see you, evil, corrupted and full of lies. i dont need you to hurt or love me anymore i can do that by myself for free, no price and no string attached.”
[Note: We’ve seen Jamal’s name reported as Jamal Paris, Jamal Parris, and Jamal Parrish.]