Crush

James Dobson Hearts Ted Haggard

We knew it was only a matter of time until the conservativos came out in defense of Ted Haggard, the evangelical homo-hater who may or may not have been sucking off a rent boy, Mike Jones. James Dobson, the equally haterific leader of Focus on the Family, has released a statement admonishing Jones and praising Haggard’s role as a religious leader:

It is unconscionable that the legitimate news media would report a rumor like this based on nothing but one man’s accusation. Ted Haggard is a friend of mine and it appears someone is trying to damage his reputation as a way of influencing the outcome of Tuesday’s election — especially the vote on Colorado’s marriage-protection amendment — which Ted strongly supports.

He has shown a great deal of grace under these unfortunate circumstances, quickly turning this matter over to his church for an independent investigation. That is a testament to the character I have seen him exhibit over and over again through the years.

We don’t know how Dobson measures one’s character, but we assume it involves an uncanny ability to manipulate Biblical passages for evil, set up a shady church-sanctioned investigation and a bottomless hatred of homos. (We say bottomless because, let’s face it, all the peeps decrying homosexuality as a sin really just want it up the butt.)

Previously: I Did Not Have Sexual Relations With That Hooker