If there’s anyone who has learned firsthand how to endure hard times, overcome obstacles and turn it all around into incredible success, it’s Jane Fonda. The iconic entertainer, who stars in the queer-themed series Grace and Frankie and received a Golden Globe nomination last week for her supporting turn in the film Youth, participated in CBS News’ Emmy-nominated series, Note to Self and composed a letter to the young Jane Fonda that reveals all the adversity she would face (her mother’s suicide, feeling unloved, the enduring controversy over her visit to Vietnam) and some interesting glimpses into her psyche (she once wished to be a Native American boy living in the wilderness). It’s an important message that all of the challenges we face help shape who we become and serve to make us stronger.
Related: Jane Fonda Recalls Fighting For Equality Next To Harvey Milk
Read her full letter below.
Dear Jane,
What you don’t realize now is that your life will be life a big circle, passing through many dark periods when you will see no future for yourself, when you won’t know who you are and you won’t feel anyone could ever love you.
Right now, you want to be a boy, preferably a Native American boy, living in the wilderness and passing through it silently, invisibly, with stealth.
You will be sexually molested at seven, just as your mother was as a child. When you are 12, your mother will commit suicide and the bravery and spunk of your earlier years will seem to fall by the wayside. You’ll come to feel that you have to be perfect if you want to be loved — meaning thin and pretty and appealing and certainly not angry. You’ll have to be a “good girl” to be loved. Living in-authentically like this will lead you to various addictions that will dominate much of your life and energy.
Your parents are both self-involved, so you will grow up not really knowing what love feels like. What will come to pass is that, through a lot of hard work you will realize that your parents did the best they could. You will learn to remember them with compassion and love and forgiveness and become your own person.
I wish I could explain to you that the painful things that will make your life challenging and get you in trouble are the things that will ultimately make you strong and compassionate.
Your biggest strength will be that you won’t shut down and become cynical. You will become an activist. You will discover that doing this will give your life a meaning you don’t think is possible right now. It will be the rent you pay for life.
You are a late bloomer, so it won’t happen quickly, but your ability to be honest with yourself, your desire to make sense of it all, to learn from your mistakes, will permit you to blossom into life. A woman with courage, imagination and resilience.
As I read this, I am about to turn 78. And though I know you’ll find this impossible to believe, this is the happiest I have ever been. It was all worth it, the good and the bad.
So don’t give up. I’m proud of you because you will never settle for less than you think you can attain.
Love, Jane
Watch Fonda, still stunning at nearly 78, read her letter below.
Kieran
An example of why everyone should exercise.
BabyGurlJessi
She should have been charged with treason for what she did to the troops in Vietnam
fingertrouble
What like Lyndon B. Johnson, Nixon and the rest were? They were responsible. She might have been a pawn of propaganda, but the war was wrong, and she was right about that.
BabyGurlJessi
When She visited the pow’s some of them slipped he notes letting there families know they where still alive which she promptly gave to the prison guards which resulted in some of them being killed wes the war was wrong but she didn’t have to take out her hated out on the pow’s
Brian
America’s politicians were the ones who put American soldiers at risk during the Vietnam War. It was an unnecessary waste of lives. Jane Fonda helped to save American lives by protesting against this unseemly and unnecessary war.
rickhfx
Does she still have an eating disorder, the one she had during the successful workout vhs tapes she made money way back then, just wondering?
rickhfx
Why is this story even on here? Who cares what she thinks or knows?
gaym50ish
So, who do you suppose molested her at the age of 7? I don’t believe she has ever revealed that.
gaym50ish
@BabyGurlJessi: That is the stuff of urban legend and an outrageous embellishment of the facts about Fonda’s North Vietnamese visit. Here’s the rebuttal by Snopes.com:
“The fact is that while in North Vietnam, Fonda met with only a single group of seven U.S POWs: all seven of those POWs agreed to meet with her, no POWs were tortured for declining to meet with her (or for behaving inappropiately during the meeting), and no POWs secretly slipped Fonda messages which she turned over to the North Vietnamese. The persons named in inflammatory claims about this apocryphal incident have repeatedly and categorically denied the events they supposedly were part of.”
Fonda has said many times that she regrets climbing on that NVA tank, because that is the image that is burned in people’s minds and has caused all the anger and exaggeration about her visit.
youarekiddingme
@Brian: She actually got men tortured and killed as a result of her DIRECT ACTIONS while visiting the “Benevolent People of Vietnam.”
She protested. Her protests, like many others DID help save lives and bring soldiers home from a war that should have never happened. Those responsible should have been held accountable. Her protesting DOES NOT excuse her from passing notes given to her by POW’s (in confidence), thereby causing these same soldiers to be tortured (at the least) and some were murdered. She will never get a pass for her actions. She can sleep well and write herself all the notes she wants on that memory.
LubbockGayMale
I have a question for all commenters: Were you even alive during the Viet Nam War, and if yes, what was your draft status? Fonda wasn’t my favorite person when she went to North Viet Nam, but then again, Bob Hope et al entertaining the troops in S. V. N. were not doing the boys in green any favors. The only war criminals I saw were the politicians who thought they could wave their wands, and our boys would win. And those same style politicos are now responsible for the longest war in US history, along with all the dead and maimed.
scotty
im not fonda hanoi jane
youarekiddingme
@LubbockGayMale: I was alive during the Vietnam war (no space between “Viet” “nam” by the way). Had family members who did serve. I was too young at the time to serve but I did serve in 2 wars after (Desert Storm/Afghanistan/Iraq). Bob Hope has/had been entertaining troops for years in war zones…have NO idea what you’re referring to by that statement. His entertainment has NEVER been a political statement about his support or non support for any war or conflict. Since I was involved in the “longest war in US history” I have a unique insight into this current situation. I don’t like the politicians who thrust us into combat and think we’re the world “police” either. All that being said, my prior statement did say that I believe those responsible SHOULD have been held accountable. That, unfortunately will never happen. Bush will never be held for his actions in getting us involved in the illegal war in Iraq either.
So, a question for you Lubbock…how old are you and have you served in Vietnam or elsewhere?
youarekiddingme
Lubbock, you don’t look old enough (by the photo) to have served in Vietnam.
nolaboy
@BabyGurlJessi: No, no she didn’t. That has been proven to be a false accounting of the facts. http://www.snopes.com/military/fonda.asp
youarekiddingme
@nolaboy: Read this little gem: http://www.military.com/daily-news/2015/01/19/jane-fonda-on-vietnam-war-comments-i-made-a-huge-huge-mistake.html How she had the Vietnamese pull away from the negotiations…costing American lives…don’t worry she apologized for it.
Bob LaBlah
@LubbockGayMale: Bob Hope paid the entertainers out of his own pocket who accompanied him on those missions to entertain the troops. Hanoi Jane accept speaking fees from the anti-war demonstrators and did NOT pay her own airfare to North Vietnam to further humiliate the troops.
After the end of the war she then focused her attention on nuclear power, earning millions of dollars in speaking fees speaking out against it while having no degree whatsoever in nuclear energy. All she had was a loud mouth that was once again valuable to the enemies of America at that time. You need to open your eyes and see this broad for what she ain’t, a person who can look back proudly at what she did to gain fame.
NoCagada
@Bob LaBlah: I’d still rather go to dinner with her than Donald J. Trump (with his piss-yellow deflated beehive for hair and orange panda makeup)…BTW…they were both BORN into wealth and celebrity.
youarekiddingme
@LubbockGayMale: Lubbock…I Re-Read your post…Seems You WEREN’T serving in Vietnam huh? In your statement denegrading Bob Hope you said, “…not doing the boys in green any favors…” Indicates to me that you are referring to “them” as in Boys in Green. So Lubbock, as a NON-VETERAN, how do you get off talking about others and asking if we were alive during the war and what our Draft Status was when YOU didn’t serve huh? Mighty Ballsy for you to come out here and run that line of bullshit and run away!
gaym50ish
@youarekiddingme: I see you are passionate about correct spelling, so here’s a bit of a language lesson.
In the original Vietnamese language there are no words of more than one syllable, so Vietnam was, indeed, Viet Nam. Saigon was Sai Gon (just check a very old map). So, early in the war, Time Magazine was spelling it as Viet Nam while Newsweek was spelling it as Vietnam. In many places, including the U.N., it is still Viet Nam.
Alistair Wiseman
The truth about the Vietnam War:
https://youtu.be/7hqYGHZCJwk
Brian
@youarekiddingme: If that’s the case then that is obviously wrong of her to have done that.
Sluggo2007
@BabyGurlJessi: How do know? Were you there, fucktard?
youarekiddingme
@gaym50ish: Thank you so much for pay attention to spelling over content…See you didn’t say a thing abou the post however…I will agree with you that we (in the west) do exactly as you say “combine into one word.” You will find scholars who believe that is disingenuous to break the word down into two words as described by the following gentleman:
From [email protected] Wed Jun 20 10:08:25 2001
Date: Wed, 20 Jun 2001 17:54:46 +0800 (HKT)
From: Geoff Wade
Reply-To: [email protected]
To: Vietnam Studies Group
Subject: Vietnam or Viet Nam?
In response to Nguyen Thanh Son’s repost from Vietnamese2020, members may be interested in a similar battle being waged in the Chinese romanisation/ orthography realm. Professor Victor Mair’s arguments in this sphere are copied in his email to the H-ASIA list reproduced below this message. A response to Professor Mair was made on the H-ASIA list as follows: “Professor Mair raises a number of objections to the separation of “syllables” in LC cataloguing of pin-yin entries. Perhaps the adoption of pin-yin modified by the orthography of the Taiwan system, whereby the syllables of “words” are hyphenated, would resolve the contradiction between the two sides. This would give, using Professor Mair’s examples, “zhe-xue”, “fei-ji”, “dian-nao”, “run-se” and “tu-shu-guan”.
The desire of the LC to represent the phonetics of individual component graphs would be met, and the demand of Professor Mair that “words” be represented would also be satisfied. Many PRC persons overseas are adopting this method for their own names, to assist non-Chinese speakers in pronouncing the name. E.g. Li Weixing is now Li Wei-xing.”
########################################
It appears that similar arguments are being advanced by both the author of the piece on the Tieng-Viet2020/Vietnam2020 and Professor Mair–that is, that the components of words have to be fully combined to provide the language with dignity, a real orthography for words, and a romanised form which is readily utilisable in the IT field.
The argument that separating the elements of Vietnamese or Chinese words into their (usually two or three) components is like writing “scho lar ship”, or “U NI TED STA TES OF A ME RI CA” in English, is disingenuous, as none of the individual elements in these latter creations have any semantic significance. The individual components of Vietnamese and Chinese words do have their own semantic significance and, while that significance may have been modified in the combinations which create words, there is still a semantic connection.
While the LC system of separating all individual syllables of Chinese words is foolhardy, perhaps the alternative presented above might be examined for Vietnamese romanisation.
Might Vietnamese2020 proponents consider the use of hyphenation as an alternative to either complete separation or the components of “words” or combining the elements fully.
As noted above, this would allow the original components to be identifiable,”words” would still be represented, there would be recognition that Vietnamese is not monosyllabic, and the form proposed would be readily identifiable by all forms of IT technology, as either individual components or “words”, depending on needs.
Best,
Geoff Wade
Co-ordinator, China-ASEAN Project
Centre of Asian Studies
University of Hong Kong
Pokfulam Rd.
HONG KONG
Ph: (+852) 2859 1917
Fax: (+852) 2559 5884
So, thank you for correcting me on my correction…well noted. There was more to my post however than that comment…
Bob LaBlah
@Alistair Wiseman: Thank you for that video of the late Bruce Herchenson. For some reason or other I thought about him the other day when he ran for the senate back in the late 1980’s and had ol’ Richard Nixon appear at a fundraiser (he was a former speech writer for Richard Nixon). I actually like him.
What he does not mention (not surprisingly) was how apparent it was that the South Vietnamese had no will to fight. Before the vote to end military aid the South Vietnamese were running from every battle leaving the equipment for the North to use on them. By April it was obvious to everyone who had already won the war and whether we liked it or not it was best to let fate take its course. Vietnam had no strategic importance to the U.S., which is why the North were aware sooner or later the might U.S. would fall just as the Mongols, French, Chinese and everyone else who had invaded Vietnam over the centuries did as well.
Hitler and Musolini too thought their people would not tire of war but they did. I see your point as to who it was that was behind the capitulation but hey, ten years and nothing to show for all of those dead bodies with no victory in sight took its toll.
Thanks again for that video you posted. Its always nice to see ol’ pie faced Bruce and laugh about how many times he tried for the senate but couldn’t get it. He was best at what he just did, commentate.
Atomicrob
Ive aways been a consistent fan of Ms. Fonda, who, like her father, is extraordinarily talented actor. Congratulations on your nomination and thanks for the years of support of our LGBT community. Much appreciated!
Bob LaBlah
@Atomicrob: If you can please list the “support” she gave and how much were her “support” fees.
Dakotahgeo
This letter is why I do, and always will, admire Jane Fonda! Vietnam was a political war! Screw Vietnam!