Jared Polis’ Angel Baby Spontaneously Appears From Out Of Nowhere

Jared Polis recently became the first openly gay dad to serve in Congress when he and his partner Marlon Reis unveiled their newborn son, eight pound 12 ounce Caspian Julius. It remains unclear whether they got their gayby via adoption or surrogacy, but considering how adorable Caspian looks, perhaps they merely created him using a combination of cotton candy clouds and wishing stars. Either way, congrats! We’re always available to babysit.

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  • Thomas Maguire

    Congrats Jar and Mar!

    He be my Rep!

  • fairly_short

    Gosh, that is one ugly baby.

    But grats to the dads.

  • Prudy McPrude

    @fairly_short: All babies are ugly! Boy or girl, they only come in two models, the WC Fields or the Winston Churchill.

    Some sort of shared delusion kicks in when it’s your baby or an immediate family member’s baby, a mental defect that allows you to say “Oh, he/she is so CUTE!” with a straight face. Everyone else who says it is lying.

    Thankfully, their looks do improve later or else there’d be a LOT of WC Fields impersonators walking around.

  • Mav

    Caspian Julius? Sounds like a Mediterranean orange smoothie. (Only the gays.)

    But what can you expect from guys named Polis and Marlon?

  • Will

    Now lets see if he can get ENDA passed out of nowhere

  • fredo777

    I think he’s cute + I’m not a relative.

  • Jase

    Yay for week-old stories..

  • Kenny

    Only a Fucktard would ask or care if the child was adopted or created via surrogacy. It’s a rude, irrelevant question. We don’t ask straight people if they were doing it doggie or missionary when they conceived.

Comments are closed.