Jerrod Carmichael appeared on Late Night With Seth Myers on Wednesday and reflected on his coming out as gay.
The comedian came out in a stand-up special he filmed for HBO Max entitled Rothaniel. It premiered last Friday. Carmichael followed it up by hosting Saturday Night Live last weekend and again refernecing his sexuality.
In the special, Carmichael, 35, talked about his father’s infidelity, and the impact it had on him and his family.
“After that was out in the open, I was left alone feeling like a liar, because I had a secret,” he told his audience. “One that I kept from my father, my mother, my family, my friends, and you. Professionally, personally. And the secret is that I’m gay.”
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Talking to Myers, he said he’d told his mom on several occasions that he was gay, but it was something she did not want to hear.
“My mom practices a lot of cognitive dissonance with it, or denial rather, so I have to come out every other conversation.”
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Carmichael went on to reveal he’d been nervous about her reaction to his latest TV special, and that she had called him while he was being driven over to be interviewed by Myers.
“I was nervous because it was a lot, in the special, a lot of things that I was afraid to say to her. So she called,” he said.
“My family can be very polite and we can smile… through things and not talk about things. There’s a lot of elephants in the room. I think my family lives inside an elephant. I think the elephant is the room.”
He said the “emotional” conversation actually seemed “almost very nice” and “she expressed a lot of love, so did my dad,” but then his mom dropped another bombshell.
“It was almost very nice, until, you know, my mom said, ‘I just … these sins are tearing the family apart.’ And it just speaks to kind of the core of the problem, that there’s this insurmountable mountain that we can’t really get over.”
You can watch the whole interview below.
On a lighter note, Carmichael said he had been overwhelmed by the reaction to the TV special, and the support he’d received, which he’d need to supplement, “a little bit of a rift” with his family.
“So I’ve been receiving love from strangers. Sexually and non-sexually,” he quipped.
Related: This famous comedian maybe probably just came out in his new HBO special
Rothaniel is Carmichael’s third stand-up special for HBO Max. He also starred in the semi-autobiographical NBC sitcom The Carmichael Show between 2015 and 2017.
You can watch his SNL monologue from last weekend below.
Jerrod Carmichael’s monologue! pic.twitter.com/lJGzY0R9zo
— Saturday Night Live – SNL (@nbcsnl) April 3, 2022
Donston
When someone’s a public figure and closeted there’s an assumption that it’s always about image, career, opportunities, ego. And that’s not always the case or at least frequently not entirely the case. Folks do sometimes forget how much religion, sociology, family still greatly effect what people do and how they present themselves. And those things have an effect on many people whether they’re famous/public figures or not. Never mind how much internalized phobias, gay resentments, contradictions, hyper-sexuality, paraphiliacs, fluidity, mental health struggles, uncertainty about the gender, sexual, affection, emotion, romantic, commitment spectrum guides many people. That’s why unless someone’s being messy or being a predator or being a leech or being hateful it’s best to not try to shame these celebs into being “out”.
preppyesque
When I came out to my parents, with the help of a mental health professional, the only thing my mother said was “I will never accept you”. To say she is a cold-hearted bitch is the understatement of the year.
The fact that she is still alive grieves me greatly. The damage she did to me even before that makes “Mommie Dearest” look like a Disney movie. Even with many many years of mental health help I am and will evidentally always remain damaged. Some people should never be allowed to reproduce.
daddytop
I’m so sorry that happened to you.
preppyesque
Thank you daddytop.
I guess my mother can only love in the way she knows. At least my experience has given me much empathy and caring for people of similar backgrounds. I can totally relate to the expressions “Very early in my life it was too late.”, and “Cute but crazy…..things even out.” I try to remember that very bad things happen to people all the time, especially now, and to count the blessings I do have.
Joshooeerr
I’ve had the same experience. And I think it’s a common experience of gay men (more than lesbians) that we don’t talk about enough. My parents kicked me to kerb, never spoke to me again and ensured that my siblings never did either. But the damage they did before that – particularly the damage that comes from the knowledge/fear that you will be rejected and reviled – resonates with me every day. It profoundly affects your relationships, your self-worth, your ability to ever be content or at peace. And if my parents understood the damage, they would remain entirely unapologetic and defiantly righteous, largely thanks to their religion. Gay men who continue to rationalise their belief and support for religions that peddle homophobia (i.e. all of them!) really need to think about this. Is the comfort you gain from that religion (which is an illusion), really worth the damage it does to others?
BigTX
I’m so sorry you had to, and still are, go through that. Just know you were created to be exactly who you are. Sending a big hug your way.
Herman75
….as if maybe you’ll stop being gay because she’ll never accept you? Not surprised to hear what a failure she is as a mother.
I still regret how long it took me to let go of what my mother thinks.
Rikki Roze
It’s so exciting to watch and listen to Mr. Carmichael. He’s articulate and has such a wonderful sense of humor. Great to see a comedian of his calibre so open and comfortable with being gay. I look forward to seeing more of his work.
birdbrain63
My mother flat out told me to act less gay among her friends. Otherwise not be seen or heard…
missvamp
he had a tv show a few years ago that was really funny. i haven’t watched the netflix special yet.
Herman75
He’s correct. I don’t know him. Love that monologue though. One of the better ones on that show.