Dating

Jesse Trautmann Still Can’t Get A Date

It’s been a while since we last checked in with our favorite Canadian homo-journo/punching bag, the perennially single Jesse Trautmann. He may not have the best luck with men, but he hasn’t given up on the dating game. Nor has he stopped writing about it – he just sent us two links to some of his recent pieces.

The first can be found in the downloadable Outlooks, in which Trautmannn recounts a fruitless (literally) Valentine’s themed-quest for love. The second comes from Gay Guide Toronto. In that column – the irksomely entitled “Dating With Scissors” (bleck) – Trautmann gripes about being given a phony phone number. A drama queen through and through, Trautmann confronts the guy and then proceeds to run out of the bar. The man follows, an argument ensues, the man tells him it was a “joke” and Trautmann’s soothed (or, rather, fooled) enough to knock the fraud a little smooch. He writes:

I know this is a bad judgment call but I can’t resist his chiseled chest and beautiful lips. We start kissing, ironically enough, under the bright neon-orange glow of Pizza Pizza. As we suck face, I tell myself that in order for him to prove his interest I will wait for him to call me.

He ends with the totally unsurprising “news” that he never received a follow-up.

Hmmm, Trautmann, it seems to us you may have bigger problems than the fact that you can’t find a man. Like what? Well, being brain dead may be one of them. Here’s some advice, next time a man gives you a fake number, toss it in the trash. Sure, you’ll be one column behind, but at least you’ll have your dignity. Or, what’s left of it…