Jessie J Done Using Sexuality As Fashion Accessory, Ends “Bisexual Phase” To “Find A Husband”

2jcsy13English “singer”/”songwriter” Jessie J, better known as Low Rent Lily Allen, single-handedly took the gay rights movement back about two decades this week, confirming that she once “chose” to like women and is now through that “phase” in her life.

The “singer” first revealed she was “bisexual” in an interview in 2011, telling radio program In:Demand that she’s “dated girls and boys.”

To give some perspective to the “Who’s Jessie J?” crowd, we first reported this news as “the chick who wrote Miley’s ‘Party In the USA’ Is Bi.” Lulz.

Provoked by absolutely no one, the “singer” took to Twitter last night to assure everyone that she is no longer bisexual and wants to “stop talking about it completely” because she wants to find “a husband.” She revealed the news on Twitter presumably because there’s really no reason for anyone to be interviewing her about anything right now. Or ever again.

She also tried to deflect criticism, jumping on the “I’m bisexual which means I can also date men” bandwagon, not realizing that the issue people took with her tweets was in her calling bisexuality a “phase” and likening her “choice” to that of a vegetarian eating meat sometimes.

“For me, it was a phase,” she told The Mirror. “But I’m not saying bisexuality is a phase for everybody.”

“I don’t regret anything I ever said, but I never knew back then that whatever I said became a fact that I couldn’t change,” she continued. “I’m just so bored of it, and that’s kind of it – I want to stop talking about it completely now and find myself a husband.”

To those jumping to Messy J’s defense, allow Tumblr user Aceofhearts. to eloquently lay it out for you:

To everyone saying it’s not a ‘big deal’ or ‘people change’;

She basically used our sexuality as a fashion accessory to make her seem cool and sexy. Now she’s kind of gone ‘lol well, that was fun, now to go back to normal.’

She has basically said bisexuality is a phase that you ‘grow out of’ when you decide to become a ‘serious adult’.

So there you have it, folks. Jessie J is no longer bisexual because she got “bored with it.” Just like we got bored with Jessie J. In 2010.

Jessie J has responded, if you’re looking for bedtime reading tonight.