UGLY KID JOE

Joe Calderone: VMAs Savior Or A Tired Old Trope?

Last night’s Video Music Awards were oddly host-free, but if there was a dominant presence it was definitely Joe Calderone, Lady Gaga‘s male persona. The Danny Zucco/Ralph Macchio love child opened MTV’s annual award show with a four-minute monologue, sang “Yoü & I” with Queen’s Brian May on guitar, presented Britney Spears with an award and probably used a urinal during a commercial break.

We respect Gaga’s dedication to the character but at the same time, it doesn’t feel very original. Above, check out our slideshow of divas who have ditched the designer gown in favor of male drag.

Other things that ran through our minds during the show:

 

Was Chris Brown allowed to fly near Rihanna in his “Beautiful People” aerial number? Doesn’t she have a restraining order? And does he have some kind of Peter Pan fetish?

 

Is it weird or beautiful that Beyoncé told the world she was pregnant by popping open her jacket after a jaw-dropping performance of “Love on Top.” Ironically that’s the sexual position she’ll have use for the next six months or so.

 

Justin Bieber has finally changed his look—and now looks even more like a lesbian than before. Lisa Loeb called, Justin. She wants her glasses back.

 

Katy Perry needs us all to buy a second copy of Teenage Dream so she can afford to have the Q*bert cube removed from her head.

 

Calderone accepted the “Video With a Message” award for “Born This Way” on behalf of Gaga. We love the song’s message  but were kind of scratching our head about the video‘s message. You were born an alien queen with bony protrusions? Still it was nice to hear someone actually say the words “gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender” on MTV. Now if only someone can tell the audience what they mean.