John Barrowman Looks For, Fails To Find Gay Answers

Out actor John Barrowman and a The Making Of Me film crew recently flew to Los Angeles to answer a burning question: Why’s Barrowman into men?

Of course they didn’t find any conclusive answers – that would be too easy! – but made for great television: 3.8 million people tuned in to watch his journey. While Barrowman and his boyfriend Scott Gill are simply adorable, not everyone appreciated their efforts:

The first test for “the latest science” was for Barrowman to sit in a theatre and leer as various men walked onto the stage. He then guessed whether they were gay or straight just by looking at them. Sadly, he was far from accurate, which meant that homosexuality had to be more scientifically deduced. This involved Barrowman flying to Chicago, where he had electrodes wired to his penis while he watched some porn.

Barrowman’s brain activity during this arduous test showed that he is, in fact, gay. Seventeen minutes into this primetime BBC1 documentary, and the latest science had finally managed to establish the bleeding obvious.

Nevertheless, Barrowman was undaunted as he drew sweeping conclusions about sexuality. “It’s nothing to do with nurture!” he chirped wildly. “John now feels closer than ever to finding out that gay men are born that way,” added the narrator, but failed to add that John had no earthly reason to feel this way.

We think it’s probably for the best that no conclusions were drawn.