Johnny Weir In Tears Over The Loss Of His Fabergé Egg Due To Impending Divorce

Johnny Weir was reduced to a quivering mass of choking tears upon learning he would have to part with his beloved Fabergé egg over the weekend, TMZ reports.

The Olympic ice skater is currently in the middle of a messy divorce from Victor Voronov that has been plagued with allegations of sexting with porn stars, animal abusedestruction of Birkin bags, and biting, with a few death threats thrown in for good measure.

According to sources, Johnny met with his soon-to-be-ex-husband’s lawyer on Sunday at the couple’s New Jersey storage locker to determine how the ex-couple’s community property would be sold off after their divorce. Items included a $20,000 Fabergé egg and a set of Louis Vuitton luggage.

It took six hours, but eventually Johnny and Victor’s lawyer came to a compromise: Johnny takes the egg, Victor takes the LV luggage, and both take their own wedding rings. But they don’t actually get to keep the items. Both parties must sell their portions and deposit the proceeds into a trust to be divided up at a later date. (After the lawyers take their $15,000 cut, of course.)

Johnny is reportedly devastated by the loss of his egg and hasn’t been seen in public for days. Victor, meanwhile, has been stewing over the fact that the judge only awarded him $1,000 a month in spousal support and has enrolled in battered women’s classes in hopes of regaining his emotional footing after his marriage to Johnny. (In case you’re wondering, he’s taking battered women’s classes because battered men’s classes don’t exist.)

It’s a shame these two are splitting up because they really are perfect for each other.