Johnny Weir Would’ve Picked Heterosexual If He Had A Choice

Guess what stupid celebrity meme I long ago tired of, and so did you? The whole “Johnny Weir came out in his book” headline, which the figure skater himself says is preposterous, because he was never in, even though he never acknowledged it. And if he talks about how he doesn’t celebrate being BORN WHITE AND MALE one more time, Jesus, I’m going to triple Salchow up in here. We get it, Johnny. You don’t want to be an activist. Now go back to shopping and being capital-F fabulous, OKTHXBI.

Oh, but here’s the soundbite to latch on to: “If I had had the chance to choose to live a life as a straight man or a gay man when I was old enough to decide what it was, I would’ve chosen straight. It’s easier.” Put down your skates before you attack, okay?