Johnny Weir Would’ve Picked Heterosexual If He Had A Choice

Guess what stupid celebrity meme I long ago tired of, and so did you? The whole “Johnny Weir came out in his book” headline, which the figure skater himself says is preposterous, because he was never in, even though he never acknowledged it. And if he talks about how he doesn’t celebrate being BORN WHITE AND MALE one more time, Jesus, I’m going to triple Salchow up in here. We get it, Johnny. You don’t want to be an activist. Now go back to shopping and being capital-F fabulous, OKTHXBI.

Oh, but here’s the soundbite to latch on to: “If I had had the chance to choose to live a life as a straight man or a gay man when I was old enough to decide what it was, I would’ve chosen straight. It’s easier.” Put down your skates before you attack, okay?

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  • Charlie

    Hmmm I feel annoyed with his statement… but I remember having similar feelings… but like when I was 14… by 18 I was completely sold on the gay thing.

    Do we think there’s time to let him change his mind?

  • Zhyna

    A couple of comments. If your so tired of Johnny Weir while he is still trying to sell his book, then stop reporting on him. Really you can do that. Kudos to him for writing a book and trying to sell it to America. Also, your headline is out of contest. Did you even watch and listen the the small video clip, or did you stop watching and listening as soon as those words left his mouth?

  • Jess

    I wish he had, he’s an embarassment to us all. I cannot, in any way, identify with him.

  • Devon


  • Francis

    I mean, it’s an irresponsible statement from someone with his level of fame or someone who has kids who do look up to him. All of his recent comments basically come off as someone “resigned” to being gay, instead of actually embracing it. Also, for someone whose pretty much famous because he’s gay, it’s sort of ironic for him to try to distance himself from anything gay, or at least that’s the way it comes off. He just comes off really defensive about everything, and self-involved. The one thing I can say is, no-one should have expected him to be a gay advocate, if that’s not what he wants of his life.

  • Lucas

    @Jess: Agree Jess.

    It’s also sad that you never hear a black, latino, or jewish person say something like this. For them it would be easier to be white yet they’ve proud of their heritage and background.

    Gay self-hate is the section of homophobia that we need to tackle the most.

  • John

    He’s an idiot.

  • Thomas Marx

    Okay, seriously? You hear black, Latino and Jewish people say it all the time. Whoopie Goldberg rose to fame with a skit in her one-woman play in which she talked about wanting to look like Barbie. White Barbie. With blonde hair.

    Johnny Weir is a tool. But that doesn’t mean he’s wrong. It would be easier for a gay person to be straight. In my experience, the ones who deny that are usually the ones so desperate to hide their anger and hurt that they latch onto the whole gay pride thing with an obsession that is terrifying.

    It’s okay to say it would have been easier to be straight than gay. Would it have been better? I’d argue no. Men are assholes. But damn, I would not want a life without Richie or Matthew. I think most gay people realize that while it is not an easy life by any means, there is no guarantee that we would ever have been happier with female companions, whether they were loves or lovers. I had a one-night stand with a guy when I was young and I literally forgot to breathe twice. Would that have happened if I was straight. Maybe, maybe not.

    But to call wanting life to be easier “gay self-hate”? That’s total bullshit. You know better. Everyone knows better.

  • maddog

    Jfc. Johnny is a fabulous athlete. Not everyone has that kind of confidence. And that’s why he’s a role model, not because of his sexual orientation.
    And the only one I want to attack is the author of this stupid piece.

  • afrolito

    I don’t see where he said anything controversial here. Many if not most gay people feel and express similar thoughts when they’re very young. You think all the closet cases don’t think it would be easier to just be straight? What about the teens getting bullied mercilessly? In a homophobic society, it is easier to be straight. He was just expressing what he was feeling at the time.

    At this point, people are just looking for reasons to hate this queen.

  • Thomas Marx

    And can I ask one question? Why the fuck does anyone have to identify with him, Jess and Lucas? I thought the guy was an ice-skater or something. I didn’t realize he was born to be a role model to you and yours. Being gay does not make you a cookie-cutter version of everyone else who is gay. The idea that because he’s a guy that likes other guys means he must fit into your specific definition of what a guy that likes other guys must act like is scary. Forget equality – we must all conform to Jess and Lucas’s version of what being gay is. I think that should be our new rallying call. Obviously they know best. Who are we to question their bigotry?

  • Lucas

    Jesus, some of you reactionaries need basic reading comprehension.

    Thomas, Whoopie said that in a fucking comedy routine, you dunce. That is not the same as saying it in a serious manner. And sure there are few racial minorities that would rather be white but the self hate is not nearly as widespread in those communities as it is in ours. Those who deny this are generally the ones who are guilty of it themselves.

    Of course it’s normal to feel like this when you’re young. Probably because you, are, fucking, young. As an adult, it’s just sad.

    No one is arguing it wouldn’t be easier to be a straight, white, male. What I am arguing is we as gay people are much quicker to become self-hating quislings than any other minority. If you don’t believe this, come out from under your rock, take Johnny Weir’s glittery ovaries out your mouth, and become part of the world we live in.

  • DillonS

    @Thomas Marx: I made sure to go back an re-read what Jess and Lucas just in case I missed something. Neither commenter gave a list of what was and what was not acceptable, so Thomas, get off your little high horse. It doesn’t suit you. You should also avail yourself of a handy little book called the dictionary to reduce your misuse of the word bigotry. They called out a guy for something he said, not for any other reason. I love knee-jerk reactions, though why you have to emphasize the ‘jerk’ is beyond me.

  • Lucas

    And by the way, he didn’t say this in the context of ‘only’ when he was younger. In interviews and/or his book he has said both of these things: right now if he could choose to be straight he would, and he may still end up marrying a woman.

    This doesn’t scream a lack of pride in one’s identity to anyone else?

  • iluzionist54

    Well, if you do not like Johnny Weir to this extent, then why

    a) you focus every week on him?

    b) you don’t take skates and make yourself famous and fabulous?

    c) when famous yourselves, finally give the world a proper role model

    I mean, really?

  • Red Meat

    If I had the choice to be straight I would be straight, but I don’t have the choice so I have to keep an eye on my back.

  • Adam

    What exactly is the inherent benefit of being gay over being straight?

    Now, what are the benefits of being straight over being gay?

    Answer such questions and you’ll probably understand why people like Johnny feel the way they do.

  • ~R~

    If faced with the choice to be gay or be straight, I’d choose straight in a heartbeat. It is true. It is a much easier path. The constant struggle, which I actively engage in, is exhausting at times. That said, it is unrealistic that a choice as such would ever present itself (no, those ex-gay ministries do not count) so, to dwell on it beyond this simple statemtn would be a waste of my time and energy.

  • divkid

    @Red Meat: “If I had the choice to be straight I would be straight, but I don’t have the choice so I have to keep an eye on my back.”

    that’s so sad. and so defeatist.

    i’m bisex-lite and i’m not without my own issues (oh nooo!), but if i was to lose this homosexual aspect of my life — and i *could* conceivably underplay it to the point of elimination — i’d be distraught.

    easier life wouldn’t come into. it wouldn’t be easy. it wouldn’t be MY life anymore.

    it seems like you’re doing the homophobes job for them — psychologically — ideally wishing to “disappear” YOURSELF out of existence.

  • Jonathan

    I salute Weir for his honesty and his commitment to always being original. As for the sentiment of his statement, I’m quite sure he’s correct. To live outside the law as we do as a gay people is to live without the benefit of the law and that is a terrible way to live. Exclusion from the pillars of society, marriage, religion and family, takes a terrible toll.

  • Jeffree

    I wouldn’t change from gay to straight now even if that were possible. I did go through that “if only” phase for about 6 months, but finally realized that whatever issues I had with being gay were manageable. Having dealt with a lot of those, I think I’m stronger,tougher, more adaptable, more aware of social cues and others’ feelings that I would have been otherwise.

    I don’t think my straight siblings are any more content than I am, even if they don’t face the same problems.

    Johnny Weir may still grow more comfortable with his own gayness — and he may not. Who knows what he’s been through and how he may change over time… In my case, at least, my whole outlook on being gay improved once I came out, met others like me, and learned to love another man —and let him love me.
    Lather, rinse, repeat!


    Judging from the acidity of so many of the comments, JW must have gotten something right.

    And of course he is right.

    To understand why, try this lil experiment!

    You are going to start life over, with no knowledge of your current life. You get to choose between being straight or gay. Which do you pick?

    “Gee, should I pick the one that society promotes, endorses, and facilitates, or do I want the one that society regards as an abnormality to be tolerated.”

    Now take your time.

  • Robbie K

    Oh no he didn’t!!…sorry just thought I would gay up the comments a bit. Johnny honey clearly you had no decision in the matter you are triple sow cow major gay.

  • Chris

    Let’s as Matthew Shepard, at that moment before they beat the life out of him…”would you have chosen to be straight if you could have?” Very sad choice to ever even have to consider. No one should have to feel that way. Johnny is being honest.

  • Chris

    Let’s ask Matthew Shepard, at that moment before they beat the life out of him…”would you have chosen to be straight if you could have?” Very sad choice to ever even have to consider. No one should have to feel that way. Johnny is being honest.

  • Adonis-of-Fire

    Why are we talking about this loser? did he won gold in the last olympic games? No. Next!

  • Mercy

    This “loser” must inspire strong feelings…positive or negative or none of you would even bother to comment. He just can’t be ignored. His 15 minutes will never be over.

  • Harbo

    Johnny Weir is right. It is easier to be straight than gay. The world is geared to straight people. We gays have had to learn to get along in it. If I’d had a choice I’d have picked straight, too. Anybody with a brain would. Have I learned to live a full and rewarding as a gay man? You bet your ass. I enjoy my life. Would I change to straight if I could? No. I have carved out a nice life, but it wasn’t easy. I faced obsticles straight guys never even have to think about. Have I been discriminated against because I’m gay, Yes I have. I’m a happy gay guy because I worked at it.

  • Francis

    If I could turn back the time, I wouldn’t choose to be straight. Being straight is easier, but being gay and happy in your own skin is more rewarding.

  • Thomas Marx

    @Lucas, you defeated your own point. You don’t give any evidence whatsoever, you just state that gay people are more self-hating than any other minority. Then you say that Johnny Weir has ovaries and I am not part of the real world because I don’t agree with your rather ugly opinion. And I am self-hating?

    @Dillons, Jess said he couldn’t identify with Johnny Weir in any way. How is that conceivably Weir’s fault? I don’t identify in any way with Ke$ha, but I don’t blame her for making white girls look bad. And Lucas is worse, blathering on about self-hating gays as if it’s the responsibility of every gay man in America to be a role model to the world. As for dictionaries, may I politely suggest you take your own advice? When people are told they must fit specific stereotypes because of something as random as their sexual orientation, then are condemned because they don’t measure up to someone’s expectations, that sure as shit smells like bigotry to me.

    @Divkid, you are comfortable in your own skin. I’m glad to hear it. But shouldn’t other people be given that same choice? Shouldn’t other people be given time to accept who they are? It’s not unreasonable that people would question who they are. It is unreasonable that some people – not you, but some people here – insist that everyone must be unceasingly proud of their orientation to bolster the doubts of those who aren’t, like Jess and Lucas.

    Shit, they sound like Nazi Christians, so unsure of themselves that they demand everyone else be sure of themselves to affirm what they know but can’t accept.

    It’s okay to admit being gay would not be anyone’s first choice. It’s okay to wish things were easier. Pretending everything is puppy dogs and rain showers doesn’t help kids, it hurts them. We are allowed to question everything, to mourn what could have been without having that mean that what is isn’t beautiful. We are allowed to doubt, just as we are allowed to embrace everything that is wonderful about us, including our sexual preferences.

    We’re not some fucking robot army that has to live up to the expectations of anyone else, gay or straight. We are human beings. Please try to remember that and respect that in between bouts of being self-righteous and judgmental.

  • Jason


    You appear not to grasp the basic premise.

    You will be happy EITHER WAY.

    You will be comfortable in your own skin EITHER WAY.

    So why would anyone pick the path of abnormal-outgroup-minority-pariah when you could be happy and comfortable in your own skin being a member of the mainstream accepted majority.

    In the 1980s, when a debate occurred regarding whether gayness was genetic or a choice, it was very standard for the gays to simply ask, “Why would I choose to be the socially unacceptable object of derision and second-class status?”

    That usually put an end to the argument.

    Come to think of it…still does!

  • Jason

    @Thomas Marx:

    You’re calling others self-righteous and judgmental?

    Do you not own a mirror?

  • Michael

    I just want to be fabulous. Don’t really want to skate, though.

  • neoboi


    i wholeheartedly agree……but, that’s assuming that at some point we make a choice of where on the kinsey we end up……..
    all the more proof that being a ‘mo is biological..

  • divkid

    this is depressing but also very real. i’m feeling both sides of this argument. but soo depressing…

    oh, and we know who we’ve got to thank for this buzz-kill:

    JOHNNY WEIR . *see* he’s EVIL. and a complete and utter SCROT!
    (and possibly a serial killer…okay possibly *not* a serial killer for… hmm “legal” reasons, but you watch!)

    let’s not beat about the bush, HE’S A WITCH. it’s just a fact.
    seriously, have you ever seen a more likely candidate for a hidden extra nipple. practically screams it. what say yee goode people to heaping up some faggots, coz that witch needs a-burnin…

    [i think i need to lie down]

  • ForeverGay

    Heterosexuals put gay people down. Heterosexuals have a very large numbers advantage against gay people. Put those two factors together and you have gay people who are picked on by many heterosexuals with little or no support growing up, the FORMATIVE years, and want to just to blend in. Why can’t gay people acknowledge those FACTS? I NEVER hear or see any gay person say what I just wrote. It’s always the same responses that never acknowledge HETEROSEXUALS’ roles in the feelings Johnny Weir is expressing. I mean some of you are 60 years old and you can’t stand up on your own and think on your own if your life depended on it. You fold like a deck of cards. This is why the gay rights movement is so slow. Past generations are too COWARDLY to even state heterosexuals’ role in oppressing gay people.

    I’m not crying for Johnny. It’s time gay people stop looking inward to feel sad about themselves and start looking inward to build strength. Yes, you have huge obstacles but you can be strong enough to beat them.

  • Zach

    I’ve rarely encountered the oppression that others here have encountered, so I’ve never had to ‘mourn’ being gay. Not wanting to change who I am doesn’t make me a dunce; it makes me own who I am, not who will never exist. My sexuality is just one aspect of me; it doesn’t have to inform other interests. But it’s still me. If I take that away, I’m not me, and why would I ever choose that?

  • Gigi

    WTF? Someone who has presumably worked tirelessly to become such a good skater – which is a lot of work – would have chosen straight because it’s easier? I never like Weir that much and now it’s official: FAIL!

  • priscilla queen of the jungle

    *Yawn*. That’s uncontroversial.

    Pretty sure I would have chosen it too, back in my scared, sexuality-questioning days of high school.


  • Maria

    Johnny had the opportunity to make a real impact, but he is becoming more and more of an idiot.

  • DR

    Y’know, I am not a fan of Johnny Weir, but the man, for once, made some excellent points without the accompanying dramatics.

    I suspect that many people ranting didn’t watch the whole piece and just read the rather intellectually dishonest piece written by JD. It’s really frustrating, to be honest. I don’t agree with his coy “I was never in” schtick, and I really don’t agree with the whole “I’d marry a woman if I wanted” commentary, but Queerty really got this one wrong.

    How many people recognize that being straight is easier than being homo-or bisexual? Anyone with a brain, that’s who.

    How many people feel that just being “different” doesn’t mean you’re “special”? That doesn’t mean you hate yourself, it means that you recognize that it’s not a trait which makes you special as much as who are you as a person which makes you special. I’m not special because of my sexual orientation, I’m special because of the hard work I put into my education and athletics over the course of my life. I’m special when I step outside of myself and accomplish a goal or do something unexpectedly nice for another person.

    He also comments that he knows who he is as a public figure, and that, at heart, he’s an entertainer and athlete with no aspersions to advocacy. Hey, he’s honest. He wants to live his life, let’s let him. I’m fed up with this post-modern notion that merely not being heterosexual means we’re automatically public advocates. Some celebrities want that form life, others don’t, and I respect his candor in this regard.

  • Mike in Asheville

    There are so many vile homophobic bigots out there who deny gays/lesbians our rights to “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness” deserving all of our efforts of derision — Maggot Gallagher, Tony Perkins, the Poop, the Moron Church, Porno Pete, etc.

    Johnny Weir is an advocate for each to live their own lives their own way. It makes no difference whether one approves/disapproves of Weir’s looks, personality, athletic ability. For my taste he is not my type at all; BUT I certainly approve of his taking and being in control of his life his way. There are many many kids who have similar aptitudes about their gayness as Weir, and for those kids Weir is an outstanding role model.

  • missanthrope

    I used to be a Johnny fan and defended him, but this is just indefeasible. Disgusting.

  • Mercy

    @Mike in Asheville: Very well said. @THOMAS MARKS as well. Excellent response, I absolutely agree.

  • Chris


    That’s because you’re missing his point completely. He’s not trying to tell anyone else to “choose to be straight,” he’s stating a personal opinion. Lighten up.

  • Lucas

    @Chris: So when people state their personal opinion that gay people are immoral and deserve to go to hell, do you lighten up?

    I never knew simply stating personal opinion exempts everyone else of criticizing that personal opinion.

    The lack of quality intellect from some of you is astounding.

  • Gigi

    Okay, I wrote a comment BEFORE I listened to the interview. You did him an injustice Queerty when took a snippit of what he said and made it his comment. He did say that he would have chosen to be straight, if he’d been able to choose as a young kid, because it’s easier. BUT he then went on to say “because who wants to be call the ‘F’ word every day, or Johnny Queer?” After which he said that because he is gay and struggled with homophobic abuse it’s made him a stronger person. THAT bit you left out, which is key!

  • ProfessorVP

    @Adam: You nailed it. If anyone looked at it objectively– reading comprehension helps– anyone would know he didn’t say straight is BETTER than gay, but easier. An understatement.

  • justiceontherocks

    @ProfessorVP: If this professional celebrity is correct, his attitude is one of the reasons that being straight might be easier.

  • Fitz

    Meh- don’t get your panties in a bunch. It’s a developmental phase in a gay man’s life. I think I once felt the same. Now that I am an old man with an integrated life, I cherish my gayness with all the outsider status, even with the need to be aware of personal safety, etc.

    Johnny Weir has done things that we will never do, and he will have things that we never will have. But he will also miss out on many of the things that we got to do, like go through a stumbling identity search in private, surround himself with queerness while licking old wounds, and getting a rainbow-bear tattoo. Cut the man some slack.

  • Right Wingers Are Socioptahs (John From England)

    It really depends about the kind of person you are.

    From an early age I wanted to be Che Guevera, so go figure if I ever hated being gay!

    But I’m honest, I love a fight. Sometimes I realise I can be a junkie for ANY outsider because I have this huge thing about being anti-conformitism but I play it fair and just support as many causes as I can.

    So nope, this kid not for one millisecond wanted to be straight or White. I really think being a gay male you get sooo much that you wouldn’t as a straight male but heh, that’s just me!

  • divkid

    okay, i fess up, i too have only just watched the interview, and…err…well *mutters gruffly*… he came out better than i’d imagined he would. okay happy now?..damn that was hard!

    (but pleeease can i carry on hating on him coz davey wavey surely isn’t worthy enough of *all* my bile.)

    but he says: “i’ve never played the gay card”, really? really? o-kay.

    i’d say post olympics he’s been doing nothing *but* that, only dishonestly; evading the obvious inference from his less than discreet semiotics.

  • Danny

    Gay, bi, or straight, he’d still be a douchebag, and he realizes it. Also, there are plenty of miserable straight people so being straight doesn’t mean you’d have a lovely life. Liking yourself – regardless of whether you are gay, bi or straight – is what matters in the end.

  • Keltu

    I think you guys are kind of over-reacting to this. I would have chosen to be straight if I had a choice, not because I hate gays or hate myself for being gay, but just to have saved me all the fear, discrimination and the simple fact that I had to go through most of my life (Elementary, High School) getting crushes on guys that I know would never even think of caring about me. I would still be accepted by family, and overall things would probably be better.

  • jason

    Where does bisexual fit in all this?

    Keep in mind that straight and gay have become culturally contrived notions in America. They’ve become, to a large extent, philosophies.

    When a man says he’s straight or gay, he’s generally stating his philosophy, and not the fact of his orientation.

  • ewe

    I don’t have a problem with what he said at all. He is not denying who he is or putting himself down. All he is saying is that if he had a choice he would choose NOT to be oppressed.

  • Blackmattachine

    I feel that what he said is important. He got his story out on his own terms rather than enduring some kind of shame campaign. Also, he recognizes his personal limitations–he is not an activist, he is a man. That is what being gay means to me.

  • Gary B.

    He’s entitled to his opinions. I still think he’s great.

  • Paul

    Typical queens bashing our own for what we all feel…. I would have wanted to be straight too. If you say you never did you LIE. Queerty is the bully and you look to slam out own for being real. This site is just pathetic!

  • Fitz

    @Paul: I very much agree. We act as badly as the tween bullys sometimes. Johnny is one of us. Is that a problem for you bitches? Can he not go through his process without having to impress you with perfection at every turn?

  • Sarah B

    And all straight people can identify with each other? Come on, he’s telling the truth, in our society, it IS easier to be straight!

  • justiceontherocks

    @Fitz: What does this mean “one of us?” Roy Cohn was “one of us.” J. Edgar Hoover was “one of us.” Leopold and Loeb were “us.” So what exactly is your point?

  • DeGuyz in Mississippi

    Ahhhh, finally at the crossroads of sexuality. Being gay,lesbian, or bi,is not a path to be chosen. It’s a given. It’s not the nicely paved expressway that the straight sector travels to reach their ultimate destination. They’re truly bored which explains their fascination with our lifestyle. You can take the easy way out and say whatever you want to win approval but at the end of the day you would just be living another fantasy.You either go with your heart or stay home.

  • Ted C.

    Weird. It’s like he’s proud of being effeminate, but embarrassed about being gay.

  • Thomas Marx


    I came on strong, I admit. But I find much of what Lucas said offensive.

    Jess said he “cannot, in any way, identify with [Weir]”. He doesn’t state that as an opinion but as a criticism, as if Weir’s life should be devoted to being an inspiration to all gay people instead of being an ice skater. How can we possibly expect people to accept us if we’re not even willing to accept ourselves?

    Lucas talks about gay pride and homophobia while criticizing someone for publicly acknowledging what most gay people have gone through or continue to go through. For shit’s sake, even today many personal ads are written by gays claiming to be “straight acting”. I stopped going to the Marches on Washington because the organizers more and more emphasized that the attendees should look like everyone else, i.e. straight people.

    What good is being “equal” if you have to pretend to be something you’re not or lie and say that being gay means always stating that it’s the best thing since macaroni and cheese and you wouldn’t change a thing?

    I think it only helps when people realize there is nothing black or white about being gay, no stereotypical set of labels that describe us all. We are as complex and individual as any minority, and when someone is criticized for not quoting the party line that someone else thinks he should, that reminds me of the nastiest part of being gay – the pettiness, the judgmental crap, the unbelievable ugliness with which some gay people treat others.

    I cannot stand those gay people that live for the moment they can criticize other gays. It’s like a sick obsession. Lucas, you want to talk about gay self-hate? How would you define that exactly? If gay love is about lifting people up and encouraging people to find their way, how exactly would you define gay self-hate?


  • Oh boy

    There is NOTHING wrong with what he said!

    Being straight is an easier route and more accpetable in this society. Being gay is more accepted than it used to be but still more limited.

    Let’s face it. It is much easier to be the high school quarterback than the gay kid. SO GET OFF HIS BACK AND STOP BEING SO JUDGEMENTAL AND SELF-RIGHTEOUS!

    He is not saying he hates himself or even hates being gay. He is just stating that one is easier than the other – which it true! Otherwise we would not be reading about so many bashings. Okay?

  • Christopher

    Would I choose to be straight if I had the choice? That’s a tough question to answer considering the amount of pain, angst, and self-loathing my sexual orientation has caused me.

    If someone asked me that question at 14, in the midst of a VERY difficult childhood — coming home to an abusive step-father, dealing with merciless teasing everyday at school, the embarrassment of sitting alone at lunch, while everyone laughed at me, the “class fag” — I’d have most certainly said yes.

    But at 25, I’d have to say no. Frankly, I can’t imagine being straight, and I don’t try. Why waste time pondering what it’s like or wishing it to be true when it never will be?

    I’ve learned that EVERYONE has struggles to deal with in life. And it’s true that some people have more crosses to bear than others — but it’s how we deal with, and ultimately overcome these obstacles that ultimately sets us free.

    Frankly — and this needs to be said — the amount of pain and suffering I endured growing up pales in comparison to the pain I feel everyday as a gay black male in gay American society.

    The exclusion, disenfranchisement, and hatred can at times be overwhelming.

    And in speaking to other black men, both online, and in person, it’s clear that my experiences are not isolated. Within contemporary gay American culture black men are the lowest of the low — outcast, sexually and socially undesirable, and largely invisible.

    So to answer this question again — no, I wouldn’t choose to be born straight. I’d choose to be born white.

  • kevininbuffalo

    Every thing Weir said is true. Problem is there are too many movement Gays who lost their power of reason and now just spew the Gay Party line. Well, screw the old queens and good for Johnny. He’s got more sense than most of the whiny losers on this board!

  • divkid

    “Let’s face it. It is much easier to be the high school quarterback than the gay kid.”

    saaay whaaa?!

    take a nano sec. and think about what you just said. and what you implied. then take a hammer and beat that nasty shit outa yo’ brain.
    i’d be more convinced this wasn’t just internalised homophobia if i heard y’all say ideally you’d like to have been born a bisexual, and so able to pass in str8 society. thats not what i’m hearing. blinkered much?

  • divkid

    @Oh boy: no 68 was for you buddy. tho i’d woulda much preferred giving you 69.
    oh, i am.
    enjoy :-P

  • Brian

    Johnny Weir said if given the choice to be straight, he would have because life a heterosexual is easier.


    How many great human beings get disowned or kick out of their homes for being gay? How many lose friends or family members?

    How about the on going fight for rights? Equality?

    Does that making him self hating? NOT AT ALL.

    How many drag queens have I heard say they wish they were born woman?

    If a little person said “Oh I sometimes wish I was born as a normal person” would that make them self loathing?

    Hell, I am a latino who is 5’5 and I something wish I was like my half brother who father is Dominican making him taller. Does this make me a self loathing Honduran?

  • Lucas

    No one is saying he’s lying by saying it’s easier to be straight. Why is everyone replying saying WHAT HE SAID IS TRUE OMGGGGGZZZZ.

    Shut the fuck up, no one said being straight isn’t easier. The problem is just because something is easier doesn’t justify wanting to eschew your own identify in pursuit of it. THAT’S why some are calling him self-hating, not because we disagree about it being easier to be straight.

    Just because something is easier doesn’t mean you shouldn’t love who you are, despite the difficulties. In a time when gay kids are killing themselves left and right, this is the message that needs to be sent.

  • Luxury

    @Lucas: “The problem is just because something is easier doesn’t justify wanting to eschew your own identify in pursuit of it” “Just because something is easier doesn’t mean you shouldn’t love who you are, despite the difficulties.”

    The basic premise of the question seems to be flying way over your head. The whole point is that you get to choose what your authentic self is, therefore, if he got to choose, and he chose straight it would be his authentic self. We all know you don’t really get to choose that’s why there’s a big fat IF in the question…

  • Shannon1981

    I am annoyed that he said this. I, like another poster, think it is highly irresponsible for a successful LGBT public figure to say something like that in a public statement. All it does is reinforce the idea that there is something wrong with being gay.

    Of course being straight is easier. We all know that. Hell, I come from one of those hellfire and brimstone families that have done everything under the sun to beat the gay out of me. Except for the initial fear and confusion in adolescence, I’ve never wanted to be straight. In fact, my gayness is a very important part of who and what I am, no matter any bad experiences I have had because of it. Really disappointed that Johnny said this. I don’t even know if I want to read this “book.” And I use the term loosely…

  • Lucas

    @Luxury: No, numbskull, that’s not the basic premise of what he stated. I understand you guys want to play literal semantic games to defend your hero, but let’s call it what it is.

    You seem to believe he’s saying “If I were a blank slate, and could choose my sexuality from a complete asexual state of being, I’d choose straight.” (Even though that’s offensive enough), that isn’t all that’s implied here. His words obviously lends one to believe that even if he knew he was gay, yet could change it, he would have because straight is easier.

    So to reiterate my point, the general qualm with his statement is he would choose that version of authenticity both from a neutral territory, and over his CURRENT version of authenticity. Or more to the point, he feels being straight is somehow superior to being gay on the basis of it being easier. And he would choose to be straight over being gay whether he started as a sexual blank slate or a ice-skating queen.

    If you don’t want to be offended by this that’s cool, carry on. But the people who are have absolutely every right to be.

  • Jimmy

    I don’t hear Johnny saying that he would rather be straight, or that he is unhappy being gay. The point is, he didn’t have a choice, nor did I have a choice.

    Johnny has more guts than most of the buttsore queers that hate on him.

  • Shannon1981

    I don’t hate Johnny Weir, but I think it was a bad move to say something like that in public. He is the quintessential representation of every gay stereotype out there, but then he makes a statement like that? I feel like shaking him and going, “Look in the mirror, honey. Embrace it. Be proud of it.”

    The thing is, he is entitled to his opinions, just like we all are, and I won’t hate him for that. But what he said, to me, falls into that category of thinly veiled homophobia that I cringe at so much with straight people. It stings to hear it coming from one of our own.

    And yeah, I am one of those ‘movement gays’ who will call it out for what it is each and every time I see and hear it.

  • Marc

    Being straight looks like it mightily sucks. Guys spend so much time and effort chasing after girls for quick sex, choices of if and when to have a family are often precluded, and everyone is encouraged to fit into a vapid sameness. So it seems strange that a man who spends so much time consciously trying to be different would state that, given the choice, he would prefer to be straight.

    It’s a bad message, because it’s one that encourages the person to conform, not the society to accommodate. For much of our history, we’ve adhered to a tribal mentality and punished people for being different. But we’ve had opportunities to move past that, and we can keep pushing that. Casting non-heterosexuality as a tragedy – which is how it’s going to appear to both confused gay kids and to bigots – does not help us. Because if you really felt that way, then you would be hoping for a real ‘cure’. Can the self-loathing and do something positive.

  • divkid

    easier (doesn’t) = better

    when it’s stated that it would’ve been “easier not to have been gay”, however *true* to your own experience, it runs the risk of becoming some kind of fixed iron law: that this “fact” has always applied, and is inherent in the nature of “being gay”. and it looks past the reality that the “problem being gay” is due in fact to the arbitrary nature of *any* particular temporal expression of a society, whose norms are culturally specific, unstable, liable to change over time.

    i have a gay male friend who has a baby with a lesbian and they admitted a preference that their child not be gay. regardless of the “humane” intention, that’s one potential second class child. (might not this be communicated to the child if only at a subconscious level? moot point.) if we follow this logic to its conclusion — and that’s why this is important — why not when the technology allows, abort the gay babies, because their lives will be more difficult than the straights!

    sure you cant argue against someones subjective experience. but its just that — subjective. not facts. and the subtle workings of internalized homophobia have effected our judgements: its called false consciousness — people can *really* believe all kinds of crazy, from ufo’s, to seeing allah in a pork scratching. but on a more serious insidious level this process can distort your perception whereby you come to identify with the oppressors viewpoint and collude in your own oppression — many enslaved blacks *felt* they were inferior to whites; untouchables in india accepted their inferior status…

    it is this unjust intolerant society that is skewed. Don’t internalise your inability to contort to its crooked strictures as your failure.

  • Str8Edge

    I mean if that’s how he truly feels you can’t fault him for that. I don’t think he should be dishonest because there’s some kid out there looking up to him, or any bullshyt like that. Celebrities don’t raise kids; Parents do. What about the fact he wears fur? DISGUSTING.

  • david shipp

    there is nothing wrong with what JW said. He’s a person not a symbol. Get with it, people, you are not the gay police, you do not decide how someone responds to their sexuality. That there are activists is wonderful. I’m one of them. But, that does not mean that I’m going to ask permission of anyone, including my fellow members of the gay community before saying what I think. Deal!!!!!!

  • Shannon1981

    I don’t think anyone is trying to be the gay police David. We are just saying we think the statement was a little irresponsible, and it reeks of internalized homophobia.

    I also personally find it weird that someone that OTT with his effeminate characteristics/ mode of dress,etc says he’d marry a woman and would choose to be straight. It seems he likes the gay stereotypes he feeds into, but the gay part itself is a different story. I am personally more confused by this than anything. And no, I don’t like it.

  • Thomas Marx

    Holy shit, I cannot believe how some of you people rationalize your denial.

    1. Being gay – just as being part of any minority – isn’t easy. That doesn’t mean that someone who is gay, like me, doesn’t accept who they are. It just means that we realize it’s not an easy life.

    2. A public figure stating that he would have chosen to be straight if that had been possible tells people two things: that sexual preferences are not a choice and that a large portion of straight people make it extremely hard on people who are gay.

    3. Kids who are being bullied don’t need to hear bullshit fairy tales, they need to hear the truth. They need to understand that it can be difficult, and yet the result can be people who are ice skaters or actors or politicians or whatever and are allowed to live their lives the way nature intended, instead of being diminished by straight hatred.

    I think people like Lucas, Divkid and Shannon1981, among others, are saying pretty much the same thing in different words (and I sincerely apologize if I am putting words in your mouth – that is not my intention). But we have to get past this idea that celebrities must be role models or that they must only say certain pre-approved things.

    If other people are ever going to accept us as equal, they have to know that we are complex, that we’re trying to figure out our lives, and that we have amazing moments and moments that we wish we could forget, just like everyone else. Pretending we’re not human doesn’t make us more equal, it makes us less real.

  • WilliamG

    Why is there an ad on this page for ‘What women really want on Valentines Day”?

  • Str8Edge

    He looks so hot in his fur. There’s nothing sexier than the feeling of soft, silky mink pelts gliding across your naked skin.

  • JT

    Weird sounds like he’s just coming out and just accepting his sexuality.

  • jack

    Coming out years after playing guessing games with the media is so 2009.

  • JCS

    as many have stated before – the man stated his opinion (and a fairly banal one at that). so what? i would not have chosen to be hetero but i do understand that it would have been a lot easier if i were so i “get” his comments. the statement was in no way hateful or inflammatory.
    johnny is actually a decent guy and a gifted athlete, why waste time looking for reasons to bash him?

  • Chris


    “The problem is just because something is easier doesn’t justify wanting to eschew your own identify in pursuit of it. THAT’S why some are calling him self-hating, not because we disagree about it being easier to be straight.”

    Where did Johnny say he wants to “eschew his own identity in pursuit of being straight”? Your comments are so biased, I doubt you even watched the entire interview with Johnny and you don’t know what he actually said. Yet, you continue to rant against him. Amazing

  • jasun mark

    @Francis: wait.. kids look up to Johnny Weir? The world is doomed.

  • Mercy

    @jasun mark:

    …kids look up to Lindsay Lohan, Miley Cyrus and a whole gang of simpletons…now the world is doomed!

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