Johnny’s List Of Demands: Mutual Masturbation Is OFF The Table!

Screen Shot 2014-04-15 at 5.55.06 PMNo way, sister wife.

In the confoundingly odd “reconciliation package” worked out between ice princess Johnny Weir and hubby Victor Voronov, Johnny laid exactly how the two will not  be getting laid in the phoenix-rising love story emerging from the nothing-if-not-entertaining ashes.

Where’s the showmanship in conscious uncoupling, anyway?

Here’s what’s off-limits according to Weir’s document:

— sex outside the marriage
— oral sex outside the marriage
— kissing or making out
— sexting
— aggressive flirting
— mutual masturbation
— social media/grindr/dating

Seems reasonable enough, but having to sign on it? That’s a new one.

Some other nuggets include joint STD tests every six months with the results being read with both in the room and the right to “veto” contact with the lovers’ ex lovers.

Keep it classy, boys.

h/t: TMZ